o.0 lol... i would still be without my brother tho =/
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o.0 lol... i would still be without my brother tho =/
You are not without your brother... What you are saying is your brother does not have a life of his own... you can't possess people,,,try and you will be more drawn apart... Support his decision,,,he obviously is compelled to leave the situation he is in and wants to start new... Just be there and support him...
Hey Birdie,,,You got room for me???
well when i say without i mean, won't really be in contact with him... part of it i guess you could call my fault... i don't like phones... i never know what to say so i spend about 80% of the time waiting for them to say something... he's not much of a phone person either....
he won't be here, i won't be seeing him, so in esscense, i will be without my brother.... and i'm not trying to possess him, which is why i didn't even try to tell him how stupid him moving away with people he hasn't even known for 3 months yet, really was.... i just decided to let him do what he's going to do, and at the same time, not freak out over it, like i've done before....
although i will listen to reason, i doubt anyone can really give me reason to just stand by and not feel anything for the situation.. hes' 17, the people he's moving away with, he just barely met, he'll have no family to count on, and not only that, he's quit school completely, just so he can move away.... all the while i made a promise to my now dead brother, i'd watch out for our littler brother.... it's kinda hard to just let things go and not feel anything bad about it... i don't even know these people, i don't know who they are, and i don't like the way things are going... i mean i understand there are exceptionally nice people out there who will take in some 'stray' teen because his home life is horrible (which, even tho he thinks it is, it's not, he has food all the time, he has cable, internet, xbox, ect ect... he just won't forgive our mom for kicking out my brother, which i dont' want to say is her fault, but pretty much directly resulted in the death of our brother) it doesn't happen to terribly often.... i'm worried what these people may really be doing....
i just worry about my brother... i worry alot, because i made a promise and i had every intent on keeping it, but i'm starting to realize, i'm not going to be able to.. cuz i won't always be there, and that hurts me...
i still kinda feel like i'm being attacked, even when i do the right thing, which is stepping back, and allowing everything to set in... but i still feel like i'm being attacked for caring, just seems like certain posts are saying "suck it up and deal with it"... and i'm trying to do what is right... and what i feel is right..
i just don't know anymore... i don't want my (dead) brother to be disappointed in me... i don't have any real guidance... i don't know what to do... on one hand i know i have to let go, becasue he will never become a man, as long as someone shadows him, but at the same time, i made a promise... a promise that is tearing me apart in side because i'm begining to feel i'm going to have to break it... it doesn't even matter if he ends up in a bad situation or worse, i promised i would be there to take care of him, and i won't be anymore....
i'm just... afraid.
Well I doubt he's being lead or scammed... He sounds like he will come around and listen to reason when push come to shove... He can take a bus home if shit gets deep and he just needs to know he is still welcome... I think he's got balls myself and will do fine,,,best of all he's a man of principle,,,a very good trait...
"Be your own best friend, what do you need today?"Quote:
Originally Posted by Breukelen advocaat
Im not ashamed to say my cat is my best friend, I do have "friends" but I went over that in another thread.
Slip, your so lucky that some one loves you.
Thats more than 10000 friends could ever give
ahh, but i know him, and no one else really does.. the way he talks is much diffrent then how he acts.... he doesn't like to rely on anyone or ask for help when he needs it for one thing.... so if he was in need, he would rather suffer, then ask for the help.... i'm not trying to stop him, mostly because he needs to become his own man, and i'm pretty sure he won't if he's held down/back... but i still worry.... i'm always going to worry about him...
and how's he gonna get a bus back if he has no money, and no family to help him out in that aspect? from the way my mom talks, she's done with him.... if this house wasn't filled to it's max and mine and my wife's relationship wasn't already stretched to it's max, he would have been here the day after the incident that got me banned...
i was going to bring him here, but after some sleep, and thought i realized it wouldn't work, and i was only setting things up to become much worse, atelast between me and my wife....
You know Slip, I'm new, so it may not be my place to say anything, but I witnessed your meltdown a couple weeks ago, and I have to tell you this: If I was your wife I'd be really really hurt that you didn't consider me family. If my fiance ever said something like that about me, I'd show him what being alone was really like.Quote:
Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
The problem isn't that you don't have family...it's that you don't appreciate the family you have.
Let your brother grow up. Cut the apron strings. You're no good to him if you're always falling apart.
first i'd like to say, a new members opinion is just as valuable as a 3 year members..... just as long as that's known.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Greenjeans
next, i'd like to assess what you said. if you read what i said (if this sounds like i'm angry or something, dont' take it that way, cuz i'm really not... actually, since my brother called, i've been in a kinda numb state... cuz i know if i allow myself to feel ALL the emotion coming at me at the time being, i'm going to lose it, and in your own words, melt down again....
i said i have my own family, and then i have family... i'm not the best in my words... the things i say, and and the things i mean don't always match up, if that makes sense.... i'm sure my wife understands this by now....
i love the family i have, more than anything, i would literally die for each and everyone of them, without a second though (i mean, if the situation actually did come up, alot of people say it, but when i say it, i MEAN it... and not cuz i want to die either.. if you look back further, you'll see i'm scared as hell of burning to death or drowning, i'd do either, without second thought to spare my family if the situation arose)
i guess i coudl give you some of 'my terms'
my family - the family who cares, i.e. wife, son, grandparents brother(s)...
then there's 'family', the ones who have casted me out... other grandparents, dad, mother (basicly, if she knew me, she wouldn't accept me, and i know this for a fact, cuz i am nearly a mirror image of my dead brother, who she pushed out...) uncles, aunts, ect...
i've never quite had family who cared about me.... (even my family is a totally new thing to me, and i'm still learning what love means... anyone that's lived 10+ years with their true love, knows about the period i'm going through... it's when you really start questioning, what love is, and what it means.... ) they've always, just been out of reach, so to speak... they were there, and i saw the compassion and caring they were capable of, but they never gave it to me...
that's because (it's true too, you can ask any of them, and they will tell you, or say things, that will leave no doubt in your mind) my grandma raised me... pretty much the only family i know is the family directly related to my grandma, and all she really 'relates' to is her kids.. her kids see me, a single child (this part is important) that was pampered by her.... and they're all jealous of what i had growing up... they didn't have things the same as me...
now even if you take out the fact of the time period they grew up in (20-30 years ago, there weren't as many things for 'kids to entertain themselves with', you still lhave the fact, that she was younger, less stable, and didn't have nearly the same base, she had when i was growing up, to offer as many things to her kids... in the end, that brought about jealousy... which is why i've been casted out...
i've said all of this before, and alot of people here know my history (or have alteast read it, i don't expect anyone to actually remember it), but you're new, and you seem like a level headed individual, so i figured i'd take the time to explain it all to you... because if you plan on staying, you will see alot of me, and if not for the quality of the boards, it's just better off if we understand each other... (btw, i love to read life stories, and see what made other people, the people they are today... so if you ever wanna talk, or want someoen to read yours, i'll be glad to... i like to think of myself as an unliscensed psychologist/culinary artist... i've been in counseling since before i was 5, and been cooking on my own nearly as long, so i have a great understanding of both)
again, i love my family... just gotta learn the diffrence between 'my family' and 'family' i would give anything for my family... and in reality, the fact i have a wife and kid now who depend on me, is the only thing that's kept me around for the last 3 or so years... i'm a deeply disturbed individual (thank karma [i don't beleive in god btw] for the conuseling i have had, and how things have worked out... cuz i can't imagine i would be living life in many other situations, call it selfish if you want, but i never really had anything to stay for, no loved ones (aside from my grandma, when i say grandparents, i mainly mean my grandma, my grandpa treats me and my family like shit, but i know if i wasn't here tommorow he'd probably care) no friends, no reason...) who needs medication, but due to our screwed up situation, i'm not exactly getting the help i need... for the time being, i can handle things (mostly, i may start to lose it sometimes, but i guess i come here to have things put into perspective for me, i don't really know, i just know all of my friends are here.. that may sound pathetic.. but it's all i got... and i learned to make do with what you got
.... at the time being i'm doing very well... for atleast being handed some info that would normally send me off the wall, and make me have another meltdown... i'm determined to stay calm... and keep my wits.... becasue i know if i did fly off the hinge, tommorow i would more than likely be regretting it (and P4B the ban has very little to do with it, just incase you're sittin over there thinking that might be way i'm controlling myself... i'm more or less thinking for my family now, instead of myself.... it just took being banned [i guess? lol] to kinda put it all into perspective and realize it's not all about me).... so i'm staying calm... i will sleep on the matter... and then and only then (although i dobut it) if it needs to be freaked out on, then it will...
but as of now, i've decided no freaking out on anything until i've had sleep... sleep always seems to bring a certain clairty to me, that nothing else can..
sorry the post is so long.
You're doing a good job of being very calm and level headed. That in and of its self is very good to see. I know how hard doing that can be. Sleep on the situation and try and start to deal with it and how things will change in the morning. Just make sure he knows how much you care and that no matter what happens he can always go to you. This sounds like something thats going to be very hard, but you can make it through this.
he knows i love him, and he knows that i'm here if/when he needs me.... i'm just worried he won't come to me when he actually does.... he wants to be self sufficient, which really worries me.. there are alot of strong people in the world, but no one gets by without having someone to come to when they're in need, without going insane (go figure, i never had anyone to go to, except my grandma, and i didn't wanna be put on more meds and crap...)
i haven't tried to stop him from going, i don't plan to either.... my mom wants me to.. but i'm not her puppet, and he's not my child... he's getting up to the age to make decisions for himself, and like nearly all of us, he's going to have to learn certain lessons the hardway....
the one side of me, as i've said, wants to stop him from making those mistakes, but the other, knows he won't learn unless he sees for himself... it's a very hard 'crossroad' point for me.... to learn to let go and love is much harder then to keep and never know what you have..... but it must be done...