You Know You're A Bit Too Drunk When....

When you wake up with a tattoo on your leg in the morning. :D It happened to me. I woke up with the DC skateboarding symbol on my leg one morning. It wasn't even done with a real tattoo gun. Just a needle and ink. I still have it, and my god it looks like shit! :p I've been wanting to cover it up, but I haven't figured out what I can use to cover up a round spot with black ink.

You know you're drunk when you pass out in a feild when it's pouring rain.

You know when you're really drunk when you decide to spark up a spliff in a bar bathroom, with 300 other people just outside the door, in the club. :) Did it all the time and never got busted. Call me lucky.

http://www.televizori.com/warnings.swf

when you open your eyes and one dont completly open
then you feel pain thru-out your body
you look down and see your only wearing boxers
and you got some blood stains on your hands
and then the deputy walks by the cell and brings some
cold eggs and warm milk and throws your tray under the door
you ask th ecops what happened and they say "what you dont remember"
your in a lot of trouble mister

when throwing shotgun shells into the fire and taking cover behind a flipped over wheel barrel is a good idea.

when you decide that taking one shot after the other and the first one to black out loses, is a good idea.

when bar stools need seat belts.

when you have to cover one eye as your driving down the road so you only see one road.

when you're puking out the side of a moving vehicle... ...that you're driving.

when you're playing beer pong naked and you drink your own piss (didnt happen to me but a friend of mine)

when you sleep with fat chicks (also didnt happen to me [yet], but did to a friend of mine)

when you pass out while you're in the midst of 'sleeping' with a chick.

when sitting on the couch thats on top of the van being driven by my very drunk friend is a good idea.

when you spit water in a girls face whom you love because she was only trying to sober you up. which in the grips of whiskey wastedness seems like a sin worthy of spitting in a girls face. (that one was the result of some serious apologizing)

when you wake up wasted and think to yourself, well im already drunk, might as well stay drunk, and keep on drinking

when you wake up next to a girl you have no idea if you had sex with or not, and she's your best buds fiance

when you almost get arrested at hte bar, but you don't remember and had to be told the story the next day

when jumping into the allegany river on new years seems like a good idea (i had no fucking part of that whatsoever, those retards all thought it was a great idea, but not me. fuck no, i stayed inside, it was like ten degrees out)

when a dart through a finger is covered in electrical tape and forgotten

every time i've ever gotten thrown out of a bar

when riding a piece of a desk down stairs like a skateboard is not just a good idea, but a ' photo op '

when going punch for punch with your best bud in the face is a GREAT idea

when you wake up in the morning and your underwear is gone, there is a beer bottle lodged into the side of the house, and there is a black trail of gasoline to the brush pile. (same night as the shotgun shells in the fire)

when all in one night, you run over a mail-box, drive through a corn field, and hit a deer on purpose.

when you have sex with your bosses wife.

when you wake up in the morning and your cell phone is dead because you were so drunk you pissed yourself

when you wake up in the morning and your cell phone is duct taped to your door.

when you wake up with bruises you dont know you had and then that sparks an idea about putting seat belts on bar stools because later on it was explained that you fell out of your bar stool , onto your keys and then got thrown out for being too drunk.



you guys have my word that these are ALL TRUE. i used to be quite the drinker.

^^^^ funiest post i have read in a long time thank you. i lolled.

Hell yeah, good post hockey. The driving with one hand over your eye happened to me new years lol and I've passed out while a girl was "pleasuring" me before as well...I woke up right when she stopped lol

when you sleep with fat chicks (also didnt happen to me [yet], but did to a friend of mine)
... you say that like it's some horrible disease ridden person... personally, anyone who talks like that deserves a good ass beating and even worse, to live on 'the fat side' and see how it feels to have everyone talk about you in such a manner everywhere you turn... really insensitive, and an assholishing to say...

when you wake up next to a girl you have no idea if you had sex with or not, and she's your best buds fiance
another really assholish thing....

bitch and moan at me if you want, but to me you're another low life drunk-tard... and you obviously have no remorse for the things you've done while drunk... although, i don't care how drunk you were, doesn't excuse your actions..... mainly.. i'm so pissed cuz of the 'fat chick' statment.... that statment alone shows me your mentality... grow up.

oh yeah, about anything driving related, do us all a favor and learn to ride a bike everywhere, you're nothing but a risk... if you are that drunk, and decided to drive, you should have both your legs cut off, just so you can't drive.... you got lucky, and that's it... you coulda killed someone... very easily, and the shittiest about all of it is, you probably wouldn't have even got a scratch off a wreck that ended up killing the other occupants.... because alcohol relaxes a person (well atleast that's the thought why most people involved in deadly drunk driving 'accidents' don't die, while all the sober people do) just do everyone a favor and stay off the roads.... if you know you gotta drive to go home, don't pick up a drink... it should be people like you who get scraped up off the sidewalk, not the innocent 9 year...

more of an edit, you admitted that shit was based on your experiences... you even specified which ones happened to friends... so don't come back at me telling me i don't know you.. you just posted alot about yourself... may not believe it, but those lines you did offer, that happened to you, offer alot of your character, a selfish lowlife..

bitch and moan at me if you want, but to me you're another low life drunk-tard... and you obviously have no remorse for the things you've done while drunk... although, i don't care how drunk you were, doesn't excuse your actions..... mainly.. i'm so pissed cuz of the 'fat chick' statment.... that statment alone shows me your mentality... grow up.




the low life drunktard comment....when i did all these things, i was a low life drunktard...i'll be the first to admit it.

i do have remorse for a lot of the things i've done. and no being drunk does not exscuse your actions. i totally agree.

and almost sleeping with my best buds fiance , will probably some day result in that beating you mentioned, and i lose a really good friend out of that situation.. and the funny thing about it, is that nothing happened at all between me and that girl. (she was a dumb slut, but thats a whole nother story)

but man fat chicks, don't even get me started on that. i have no remorse and i will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER feel bad for a fat person no matter what. fat people are unmotivated simple as that, if they would lay off the pepsi and doritos, eat right and exercise, they wouldnt be fat. simple as that.

i eat right, i am an active person, i hunt, i play hockey, i run and i take care of myself. so dont give me that i need to grow up bullshit, fat people need to get off there asses!!

also, im going to venture a guess and say that you don't drink a lot with a lot of people very often ?

but other than that, this was supposed to be funny :rolleyes:

ahahahahhahahaa higher4hockey that was the funniest fucking post ive ever read. What a life you've lead lol.

well ... you know your too drunk when you go snowskating in your boxers and a muscle shirt in -30 weather, LOL I love canada.

When you can't bother to wait in the line at the washroom so you go into the kitchen and piss in a jar.