awkward

I forgot one...this was probably THE most awkward moment...a former coworker just reminded me of this...

OK...the background is that I used to have this supervisor named Claire....she was a real bitch. She was an older lady and acted like it. Very staunchy and stuckup.

OK...two years ago, my coworkers and I are sitting down and eating lunch with our manager, Claire. SOme people are eating, some are playing cards, some are reading papers...I was playing with my cell phone. I had just gotten the Motorola v710. Well, two days before, I found a pic of a nice bubble shaped ass so I decided to use that as my screen saver. So I'm playing with my phone and one of my coworkers asks if it is the new Moto that just came out and I'm like, "Yeah". So she asks to see it. So she's playing around with the buttons and ends up on the main screen and sees, the ass. She had this wierd look in her eye and just started laughing. So now my boss is like, "What is so funny" and this lady is like, "Oh nothing, Chris got a real cool phone, that's all". So Claire is like, "Cool, let me see it". Now I'm shitting bricks. I tried to intercept so I could change the wallpaper, but my coworker already handed it my boss. Now I'm just kind of sitting there and looking nervous and everyone else is looking at me as if to say, "What's wrong". So Claire is fooling around with the buttons and commenting on how nice the phone is. Somehow, she gets back to the main screen and says she can't figure out what those buttons are for. So the girl that had my phone before is like, "What buttons?" and she says these and points to the ass cheeks. Stupid ass coworker...she tells my boss that they aren't buttons and to flip the phone around........

My boss, lets out an "Oh", then a, "OHH!"....packs her lunch in her bag, hands me back the phone, and sheepishly walks away. She never looked me square in the eye again after that.

It's a tie between 2 horrible incidents that happened to me. I cannot go into detail here. Ahem...

some fool on my block named j
i kicked it with him but we didnt get along that well
his girlfriend was also my homegirl
so i sweet talked her ass like never before and she
let me play
we were all hot and i was sitting on her bed
she dropped to the floor on her knees and was
spit shining the seargent when j walked in
she was all into it eyes closed head bobbing
and she was moaning she really liked what she was doing[damn i miss her]
me an j were just staring at each other when i broke a smile
he charged me
my dick was hard and i pushed his tramp off
i was fighting toe to toe with my homie with my pants down
when all the rest of the people came running in to see whats happening
after i dropped his ass i picked up my pants and split
they stiil talk about that shit like it was yesterday
im glad camera phones werent invented yet

Quote:

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Originally Posted by friendowl

some fool on my block named j
i kicked it with him but we didnt get along that well
his girlfriend was also my homegirl
so i sweet talked her ass like never before and she
let me play
we were all hot and i was sitting on her bed
she dropped to the floor on her knees and was
spit shining the seargent when j walked in
she was all into it eyes closed head bobbing
and she was moaning she really liked what she was doing[damn i miss her]
me an j were just staring at each other when i broke a smile
he charged me
my dick was hard and i pushed his tramp off
i was fighting toe to toe with my homie with my pants down
when all the rest of the people came running in to see whats happening
after i dropped his ass i picked up my pants and split
they stiil talk about that shit like it was yesterday
im glad camera phones werent invented yet

---

OH SHIT...CLASSIC! :thumbsup:

Daaamn. LOL!

Most awkward moment was the first time I tried to do it with a girl. My 2 friends and I picked up a skank at the bowling alley and went back to my friends house. We got wasted and asked the skank who she wanted to sleep with. She picked me and we went upstairs to my friends waterbed. Iâ??m trying to figure out what to do and I get nervous. Then I realize my nose is bleeding. It was gushing. I hopped up, went to the bathroom, cleaned up fast and sucked the blood back up. The skank goes, â??Oh my god.â?� I go back to the bedroom. The lights are on and thereâ??s blood on her and the bed. I say â??What happened?â?� Sheâ??s like â??I donâ??t knowâ?�. I take her home and the next day my friend was like, â??WTF!â?� Awkward.

Never charge a man with a boner....ever

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by friendowl

some fool on my block named j
i kicked it with him but we didnt get along that well
his girlfriend was also my homegirl
so i sweet talked her ass like never before and she
let me play
we were all hot and i was sitting on her bed
she dropped to the floor on her knees and was
spit shining the seargent when j walked in
she was all into it eyes closed head bobbing
and she was moaning she really liked what she was doing[damn i miss her]
me an j were just staring at each other when i broke a smile
he charged me
my dick was hard and i pushed his tramp off
i was fighting toe to toe with my homie with my pants down
when all the rest of the people came running in to see whats happening
after i dropped his ass i picked up my pants and split
they stiil talk about that shit like it was yesterday
im glad camera phones werent invented yet

---

HAHAHAHA thats by far my favorite one yet

When I was 16, I was fooling around with this girl (her parents were in the next room). I had her shirt and pants off, and was feeling quite good about my chances to get laid. The phone rang, but neither of us knew it untill her mom walked in. She was wearing a bra and panties (I was pantless, and we both dressed under the covers with her mom in the room. After the phone call, I listened to her mom give her a premarital sex talk, which she would later give me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Parallel Universe123

Never charge a man with a boner....ever

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hheheheee...

one evening i was out with my hubby, at a "lookout point" type place...we were hanging out when suddenly we heard a couple start fighting...."you cant even give head right"....we started laughing, but I felt bad for the poor girl.... I hope that man never gets a hummer again..I also heard a girl tell her black boyfriend "oh yeah, well the average white man has a bigger dick then the average black man..."