a man enters a bar and shits on mellow mood for dissing my joke
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a man enters a bar and shits on mellow mood for dissing my joke
or liquid paper for australians lolQuote:
Originally Posted by KottonMouthSara
Buckwheat & Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla, "How do
>you spell 'dumb'?"
>
>Darla says, "D-u-m-b, dumb."
>
>The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."
>
>She says, "Buckwheat is dumb"
>
>The teacher says, "Now spell 'stupid'."
>
>Darla says, "S-t-u-p-i-d, stupid."
>
>The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."
>
>Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."
>
>Then the teacher calls on Buckwheat and says, "Buckwheat, spell
>dictate."
>
>Buckwheat stands and says, "D-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."
>
>The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."
>
>"I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"
This one kept me laughing for a while :)
A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.
They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. It worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cabdriver hit a parked car
A man walks into a bar and orders 7 shots of vodka. "Why so much alcohol?" the bartender asks. " I had my first blowjob today", he tells the bartender. "Congratulations!, in that case have another shot on the house says the bartender. So the man says, "Thats alright, if 7 doesn't get the taste out nothing will."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sentinel
lol good one ,classical canadian joke
thats why i like these canadians ppl :)
This isnt exactly a joke but about a year ago i took my brothers to see our dad he lives in the bush.The whole way in the car he kept on saying pull over pull over i gotta push one out it was disgusting but fuck it was making me laugh as the toilets were very few and far between.Anyways i didnt pull over so he could push one out but he was very very happy when we drove through a town and he seen mc donalds.I said there ya go now get pushing and hurry up lol
knock knock
who's there
Tuna
Tuna who?
You can Tuna piano but you can't tuna fish
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? .... Nacho cheese
i like ur avatar...is that u>? the rainbow?
Whats the difference between a Mail box and a donkeys asshole.>?