Looking Ahead To Hell

Sorry to hear about your pain beachguy, I'll smoke a bowl just in honor of you ;) I too have dreams of someday living in a peaceful world where people grow marijuana plants openly in their gardens, not only for harvesting but also for the pure beauty of freedom. Where parks are littered with marijuana leaves dancing around in the wind and children play nearby and people forgive eachother for their disagreements.

Marten Luther King once had a dream, at the time it seemed like an impossible and unimaginable dream, yet that never stopped him. In the same manor, let's keep this dream alive!

I remember seeing, on the History Channel, this guy speaking of a place, in New York, where he looked out and saw cannabis for as far as he could see.

It's not that I can hardly move, it's the pain being all-existent. It's, like, a vice-grip on the left side of my body. It's been a learning experience. I've learned that nothing can just take away the pain, without screwing with my head or stomach, except cannabis.

I wake up and it's there. There's nothing good for me to focus on when I haven't even opened my eyes. If I spoke of all the good things, then I'd be here all day talking about coffee, walking the dog, bringing my girlfriend to work, and, the weather.

Thanks, Pot. Life is Great. The World keeps spinning.

The last time I went an extended period without pot, I walked my dog, around the apartment complex, hobbling with a cane. The next time I walked around, keeping up with the dog, I was laughing, thinking how hard God is laughing at the fact that his people are so confused by my walking habits.

I was a wild man out on shortstop, as I was growing up. My sarcasm, with the umpires, had me thrown out of tons of games. My temper was the problem, but, it always came out as a joke. Now, I use that temper every morning. It seems as if God said, "If you're going to be that way, you'll be using your temper to fight yourself."

"And, if you smoke one of my more elder children, you'll laugh at yourself, instead."

"Well, my gift to the animals." (God corrected Himself)

If you can pick up a knife, then you can sever your leash. Its in your hands, my friend. And in your hands only. I have found, in life when you hate, hate will find you. When you are great, greatness will find you. Be great, my friend. Believe in yourself. Peace be with you.

Hell will be sweet. I'll see my mothers side of her family and see what kind of pricks they really were. :p

I'm not sure if you're in physical pain or mental pain, but physical pain is something I don't know a lot about. Maybe search on the net. about natural painkillers. I have heard of herbal (not just cannabis) remedies that can be good for pains. I share your hatred for pills, and unfortunatly, I have o take them for my bi-polar disorder, but painkillers and totally diff. from what I take. Painkillers are heavy pills and can be very addicting and damaging to the body.

For mental pain though and depression, I strongly suggest a creative outlet. You mentioned something about guitar...? I too play guitar and it is a very good outlet for me. I write and play nothing but my own songs and it gives me a chance to say what I really want to say. I mostly play, but notes and music can have just as strong as impact as words.

I also write. Not like a journal, but short stories about reflections on my life with non-fictional adds and twists to it.

Go walking or try to do something for the pain you are feeling.

Meditation works as well. Just simple breathing workouts is all that is needed.

The world is a hostile place and we have to embrace it. The worlds problems bother the shit out of me. How human beings behave towards one another is disgusting to me. How we all feed off tradegy and distress for others, it's disgusting how we were given this earth, one world, and what we chose to do with it. I am looking forwards to this worlds ending, and I hope I am around to see everyone crying so I can laugh at them and say, "what the fuck did you expect?"

Those things bother me, but I keep on going in life. I let my creative oulets do the talking for me about these things that bother me.

Take care Beachguy. I hope things get better for you. :)

"Darkness has a hunger that's insatiable, and lightness has a call that's hard to hear" yes you have forced me to quote the Indigo Girls:D but it is true. One must not succumb to the downward pull which is all around us.The true hero follows light and carries it within, and the deeper the darkness that surrounds you, the stronger the light can be! Use pot as medicine and be grateful for its gifts.
Never give up-

Man... I have a friend in your same situation... He's 18... He's the drummer in my band and i have known him for years... The doctors found two tumors in the back of his brain that started growing recently.... He is trapping in a hospitial bed with tubes coming out of his head and he's on so much dope that he can barely hold a conversation. They have Done SEVEN FUCCKIN surgeries and can't seem to do shit about it... ANd it is killing my friend in more ways than one. He says the only thing that makes him happy is when he go up there and smoke with him. He says he can forget about his pain when hes stoned. When weed works and dilauadid and methadone doesn't you gotta think about how fucked up this country is.... IMO... Pain is the highest authority... And then law enforcement..

Thanks, everyone. After all of this, I'm blessed to be able to only feel the soothing of an injury, on one side (of my body), and, having a cat in heat puke while I'm typing this.

Anyways, one side of the body, all healing, the other side is right on with it.

A van hit the left side of my body, with a door in between. That's what I feel everyday. Everyday, it should be filled with bliss, and, Lord knows, I try.

Sorry to hear about all of it buddy. I get like this when I cant burn for a couple hours after I get up and am sitting in class at 7am. Keep your mind positive bro. Mind powers what you need, theres still that THC running in your blood put it to use.