Why why why WHY?!

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Originally Posted by Purple Banana

I'm really close to his mom, and she would smack him over the head for pulling something like this, but it's going to make working with her much more different- she was happy I was making him happy. It's not her relationship, we both realize that, but she tends to take things personally and hold a grudge. She's a great woman, but she is moody. I hate to see her like that, but it has to happen...

I was thinking of saying Im too busy for anyone right now (which is true), and it's not fair to him to maybe see him once a month, and I love him, but not in a romantic way, like a friend love.

EDIT: Thank GOD we didn't have sex, he's a virgin, and he's from those "Only have sex with someone you REALLY REALLY love and is 'The One' " kind of camps.

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Well it's good you know what you have to do. I hate seeing people too attached to their mom's (I have a friend like that). And if her mom decides to hold a grudge over it, (excuse the language) then fuck her, really. And in that case I'd say tell her off and let her know it's none of her business and she needs to let go of her son and let him grow up. And if he can't do it on his own, then she's half at fault for not pushing him out of the nest.

I don't agree with letting him off quick and to the point. It needs to be to the point, but I would at least clearly let him know why. At least let him learn from the situation. I'd say tell him that he needs to grow up, and look at life in a more serious and responsible manner. And tell him relationships like this won't work. If he wants one that will, he should go for someone who doesn't have responsibilities and is not that independent yet.

Well good luck, I'd say you got this under control.

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Originally Posted by Weedhound

Wow....never seen anyone actually set a time limit on it before.

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Well, I'd say the reason why there's a time limit is because as she said, she's very busy. If your week is packed, week after week, when you need to take care of something that isn't in your regular schedule, out of what little free time you have, you need to figure when you can fit that in. And then you have to make sure you do it. So if she has a window where she can go see him at 7 and do it, then she has to do it then otherwise it could go on for another week or so.

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Originally Posted by Psycho4Bud

I'll tell ya.........I'm 45 and if there is one thing that I have learned is that life is way to short to stay in a situation that you don't want. Relationships, job, whatever.........find YOUR happy place, not someone elses.

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

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That is without a doubt the best statement I've heard all day. :thumbsup:

And PB....the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Don't count on his mom imo.

The problem AR..... IN MY HUMBLE OPINION....THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK.....is that you are expecting people who are not normal....to act normal. That is EXACTLY what's going to get PB into trouble. This guy (and his mom) don't want to hear about all the normal reasons life happens....they don't see life the same way as people who DON'T walk to someone house for 5 hours to drop off flowers and DONT look the other way and say "really....how cute is that?" about their child's bizarre behavior.

I stick by what I said. ;)

And I'd also be willing to bet the tiime limit is more about fear than schedule.....but I'll back off on that statement if PB disagrees.

Yeah, you're definately right about that one, Weed. I'm doing really absolutely nothing else today except strum the guitar and eat a bit, maybe smoke. But it's a weekend, too. So apprehension about hurting his feelings is playing a good-size role. Damn, I'M not normal myself, and I'm not going to go into the whole society doesn't/does define normal thing.

I am just different than him. I'd like to find someone more independent and not over-the-top kind of teenage love stuff. He said the L word waay too soon, and his relationship style resembled that of a early high schooler. He's never really dated before, so he doesn't really know what he's doing, and that's okay. Seeing as how my last 2 relationships were 'fixer-uppers,' I simply don't have the time to work out all of his attachment and dependency issues.

You've actually got two clingers.....him and his mom.....keep us updated.... ;)

Will do! I'm leaving for him right now... Wish me luck :(

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Originally Posted by Purple Banana

Will do! I'm leaving for him right now... Wish me luck :(

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Good luck. Hope you learned your lesson. Don't date abstinent people. Virgins, are ok, but they have to want to fuck.

Good Luck PB!!! ;)

It went... Okay...

He cried, I told him it wasn't fair to him or me that I spend little time with him, and he seemed much more like a good friend than a boyfriend. I dropped him off, gave him a hug, and he went inside.

Big relief, but I do and don't feel bad he cried. Just glad to get it over with.