Quote:
Originally Posted by Skink
me neither...it's all good
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skink
me neither...it's all good
Billion im cool my friend, about the drooling in the rubber room..LOL, i forgot to mention i tried to commit suicide a couple years back and actually did end up in that rubber room for a while.
:jointsmile:
tryna I would suggest that you try to forgive your uncle and cousin and fiance. I know it's easy to just say that to you from my keyboard, having never experienced a real tragedy in my life (although I'm only 16 and I assume that I have alot of living to do, even though i could stop breathing tomorrow). It's like you said though, by the time you want to get close to someone it might be too late. As far as the murder of you family, I don't see why, as an outsider looking in you have a reasonable reason to feel guilty, it wasn't your fault even though you might think it was. I hope everything works out and over time you'll be able to get over it.
that's all for tonight, see ya guys later.
I served in the Marines for over four years. I made it out to Afghanistan and other nice vacation spots, but I did have something tragic happen to me while I was overseas. I was a part of a training mission and we were firing rockets from shoulder fired rocket launchers. This was my job and I had fired about hundred of these rockets at this point. That night my rocket launcher blew up on my shoulder knocking me out momentarily. I woke up with gas burns all over my face and neck. The corpsmen had to pick pieces of shrapnel out of my face. I was very lucky. Five Marines in previous years had their heads completely removed from their shoulders while firing the same rocket launcher.
I have nightmares about this all the time. I usually have dreams of losing my head, and I often hear the sound of the explosion that I remember from that day.
That experience has profoundly affected my psyche.
Hey Devil Dawg, at least you got mary jane to comfort you now.Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeyTokey
What rocket launcher was it? At4, dragon, LAW?
It was an 83mm SMAW, MK-153.
Hey 420,Quote:
Originally Posted by 420marijuana420
You know that thought really did go through my mind but as of yet they have made no effort to apologize to me. Yes I definitely would be the "better man" so to speak but they have to want to be forgiven as well, i feel, and that just aint gonna happen. As far as my fiancee, well thats another story. I hold no more bad feelings towards her about what she did, but, as far as trust and loyalty go, in my heart it just wouldnt be there. She betrayed me at the worst possible time in my life. She knew at that time that she was the only person in my life i could trust, but after that the trust was blown at least as far as on an emotional level. For the most part she just made it even easier for me to move further away from her emotionally.
16 huh? Sounds like you a got a pretty decent head on your shoulders for that age. Keep up whatever you have been doing to get yourself where you are and if theres any valuable info i can give you its stay in school, and more importantly, read. Everyday i see the younger generation and how thing have changed since the old school days. Me, im only 38 but am a much older person both mentally and intellectually than i need to be, but looking at it the majority of my friends are in their early and late 40's and 50's so a lot of that rubs off on me.
As far as me feeling guilty about what happened, my brother and i were two different people altogether as far as our lifestyles, he was the more peaceful person and eventually went on to become a reverend. Me, i was the black sheep of the family, the bad guy if you will. People in the neighborhood liked my brother, me on the other hand they feared. I keep thinking that if i had not have moved out on my own this wouldnt have happened because i would have been there to stop it. My brother had not had the street experiences that I had, he just wasnt a street smart person. He had never had a fight, never had guns stuck in his face, or any shit like that, that was my department. Basically he was just a hippie from the 60's and wanted peace, but me knowing how the streets were, i felt sort of responsible for his protection from that side of life.
Thanks for your words young brotha,
Never even heard of that shit......Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeyTokey
Glad to see that your here and tokin'. Hopefully someday you will not think of it no more. Former infantry Marine here, hope to see you posting. Passing some good rep to you.
Damn Smokey,
Sorry to hear it bro. Man those war injuries really stick it in and break it off. I have a close buddy who was in Nam and that agent orange has fucked up both his legs. He has had multiple surgeries on both his legs but will never walk right again. I feel ya on the explosions as everytime i hear loud bangs and booms i find myself ducking and flinching. They told me i have PTSD. Funny how time has changed things, we have gone from "shell shock" to post traumatic stress disorder.
I went through something that changed me for life.
9 years ago when I first moved to Canada I got jumped by 3 unknown people that put me in the hospital for 2 days. They crushed in the right side of my face, which in result gave me permanant nerve damage along the right side of my nose, and right upper lip. It's kind of numb still, and it will never go away. It's the same feeling when your arm falls asleep. Kind of the tingly numb feeling.
I had to go into surgery to get my face bone pulled back out. I could only open my mouth maybe half an inch. When I opened it any further, I could feel my face bone hitting against my upper jaw.
Since that day I carry a blade with me, and I won't hesitate for a second to slice someone up in a million pieces if they mess with me. It made me very paranoid for a good year to walk alone at night, and that's where my anxiety started. My temper is even worse now, but I take medication to keep me level.
So yeah, thanks to them I have strong hatred towards human beings. Watching the news and the stupid things people do doesn't help either. When I see or hear of people getting jumped, I wish I could find those people and kill them slowly. They have no need for life on this earth, so I say fuck them. :p
how dare you mock this tragedy. i am not going to judge you. your lower intellect may have been the cause of this cruel and uncalled for remark. this is real tragedy i am talking about. i guess you need to get more secure with you. i mean come on. i dont know if you are trying to have a sense of humor about this or just trying to look like a cool internet hero, but either one is bad. especially the sense of humor. how dare you not get brought down and lose your sense of humor when i discuss my tragic life. your low intelligence level saddens meQuote:
Originally Posted by 420marijuana420
Answer me one thing suhl..what positive retrospect has anyone of your posts offered anyone here? In other words, after reading what others have posted on this thread, what positive anything have you contributed to this? Hell can anybody answer that one for me?
:jointsmile:
well i was laughing my ass off as i did it, so it did that.:jointsmile:
You appear to be the only one laughing as you seem to be looking to gain something from your comments. Whatever it is, only you know. What is it you are trying to gain by whatever comments you make? If you come here for jokes and play, seek another thread as when i started this one it was not meant for jokes for kids. Hell, 420 is 16 years old and has the God given common sense to be able to spot unwanted activity in the thread and with that being said I would hope that you are younger than 16 cause if you arent, you just showed everyone here your true intelligence level, and from where i stand it dont look good. Why dont you take the time to read the posts here that others have given about their own situations and you will see for yourself that jokes dont appear to be the subject at hand. Unlike you, some of us post for real reasons, not to get laughs.
Nochowder Im truly sorry to hear that happened to you. Nobody has the right to do what was done to you. It seems that those that prey on others obviously have not come up against the right person. I can honestly say that I have never had anyone do any kind of physical damage to me as you have but any pain whether it be mental, physical or what have you is pain that was needlessly inflicted upon you. I feel you on the weapon to protect yourself as I am the same, lord knows i have become an expert on torture and really dimented shit to do to those who deserve it. God willing I will never have to make my presence felt that way but if it comes down to it you gotta do what you got to to keep breathin.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nochowderforyou
ya, but what were u supposed to do tryna, just stay at home and never move away? Lots of people move away from home, that's what they're supposed to do. It's not like you would have been able to ALWAYS be there in case something happened. It just happened and it was unfortounate (sp) but it's not like you could have always been there, you would have never done anything, and you probably wouldn't have ever had your kids. If you love them then can you imagine what it would be like without them? It's not like you can do everything at once.
As far as that goes I don't think my generation is in trouble, I'm sure your parents told you the same thing when you were my age and I'm sure their parents told them the same thing. Even if my generation is in trouble though, I don't care. Not only do I not care, I welcome it because the more people from my generation who don't become educated the less people I'm going to have to compete with when it comes time to make a living, as long as i can get ahead of the majority. Not everyone will always be able to win, someone ALWAYS has to be on the bottom, we know that we'll never have a perfectly well balanced economy because that would be communism and that never works because humans are always looking for edge. For every person who dosn't succeed that's one more person that's going to make me that much more wealthy. So as long as i make sure i get ahead of everyone else im not worried.Quote:
Originally Posted by trynagethigh
Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeyTokey
I'm sad to hear taht. Thank you for protecting us. I;m so glad you are with us and hopefully those nightmares diminish and let you rest. You've been through a lot.:s4: :joint1: :jointsmile:
420 youre damn sure right about the parents...LOL..thats exactly what my mom said, and now that you mention it your generation will probably say the same..LOL. Times have changed dratically though from the old school days for me. Man when i was really bangin at about 13 if you had a fight with someone, you beat them down, and the next day you were playing football friends again. Nowdays everybody wants to kill everybody and everybody needs a gun. Hell if were gonna have folks running around with guns robbing people and whatnot let just give everybody one and even out the playing field. Im sure if a lot of the people out here doing dirt knew that the person they were going to rob was armed, maybe they would think twice. Then again, maybe not. What happened to the days of just giving somebody a good old fashioned ass kickin by using your fists. These new schoolers are taking the fun out of the shit for us old schoolers...LOL:jointsmile: :jointsmile:
My brother went to rehab for his coke addiction when I was 15 or 16 I cant remember and embraced AA to its fullest. Sadly, he no longer is the same man I knew before his addiction and I never talk to him anymore. He used to be my best friend and now he lives 5 minutes away from me and I avoid him because hes so ridiculous with his spirituality/recovery.
I remember there was a town out in Utah that required everyone to own a firearm by law and their crime rate dropped alot. I don't know the exact figures but the crime rate definetly dropped a notable amount after that law was passed.Quote:
Originally Posted by trynagethigh
hey trynagethigh ,
i feel for ya man . i too have subjected myself to some crazy shit .
managed to blow myself up 6 yrs. ago . 5 mos. self induced coma 16 mo. hospital stay -n- torture most ppl. can't even imagine bro. i'm 90% 3rd degree . 1-2% 4th. degree - bone exposed -n- stuff .
that that doesn't kill us only makes us stronger
or crazier ???
Peace man
your cuz
crispi
I basically put the love of my life (at the time) in jail, and haven't seen or spoken to him since. That's only a small tragedy though.
My god,:(Quote:
Originally Posted by xcrispi
What the hell happened bro? Damn man i cant even begin to imagine the pain you had and probably still do. Not to offend you in any way but is that hence your screename? Dude, man...i am like totally lost for words..man fire is like one of my worst fears ever. what the fuck happened? I guess the most important question would be how are you doing now? (i am really sitting here looking stunned..)
Did he do something to deserve it baby face?
Now thats what i call putting the constitution to good use..lets even out the playing field and see whos who. I need to be on the first thing smokin going to Utah :jointsmile: :jointsmile: :jointsmile:Quote:
Originally Posted by 420marijuana420
I wasnt even aware that there were 4th degree burns that is aweful... how in gods name did it happen if you dont mind my asking? (my grandfather blew his hand off with a firecracker, and cut off some fingers with a chainsaw on the other hand...) but thats some serious burning
hey trynagethigh ,
Was replacing a fuel pump for a girl . I was in the garage workin on it had the gastank outa the car , had the fuel pump/pick up tube -n- sending unit out -N- in my hand stood up and walked across the piece of carpet i was layin on and static elect. did the rest man .
Yep tryna therefore the Xcrispi bit . lol .
I'm doing great believe it or not . Missing some fingers n toes , deaf from the explosion . But it's all good . I only had a 1 in 10,000 chance for survival and i beat the odds . lol .
Peace all
Xcrispi :S5:
Man crispi,
I cant tell you how many fuel pumps i have put in dude, i worked for chevy for almost 12 years, and i never even thought about that kind of thing happening. I remember quite a few fires (none my fault..LOL) and believe me i was the first one out the door. Man and just last night i was watching most amazing videos and there was a guy filling a gas can i beleieve in the back of his truck and static electricity set the whole thing on fire and burning him pretty badly. Do you have memory of everything happening, because i know i have blank spots in my memory now where there are points where i cant remember some things. i know i had no recollection of time or date when the cops released me three days later, and even when i walked out their front door i had no idea where i was.
Man after going through all of that i know i would have quit smoking anything and matches and lighters and shit would not exist in my house...in fact i would probably move to alaska and live in a friggin igloo...LOL. My thing with fire is that shits gotta be respected big time. I can remember coming home one evening and as im driving down the block there a house thats on fire and i mean it was going good. The heat was so intense i was across the street and literally had to put my hands in front of my face. I just cant imagine being on fire..man you have really blown me away with this one cuz, and im glad youre still here dude. You will most definitely be in my prayers my friend.
At the age of 18, I told my father that I didn't want to involve myself in the sexual culture of this planet and that I wanted to become a Eunuch. After much pleading from him not to, I still went ahead and got a full castration anyways. He then proceeded to commit suicide.
I've had many tragic and traumatic events take place in my life, too many and much too disturbing to post here, this event with my father is just one of the many latest big ones.
I don't suffer much from them though, I take it all in stride. I take comfort in that fact that this world doesnt owe me a damn thing. I accept what I am given. I don't expect happiness and prosperity from this existance.
Shit happens randomly and indiscriminately. You can't let it keep you down. Cry it out, cut your wrists up, smoke ounces to the head and move on to the next tragic event that awaits you.
trynagethigh, that is seriously the saddest story i have ever read. and i thought my life was fucked up. but ill tell you from personal experience, cocaine and guns never lead anywhere good. and if anything good came of your story, its that you made me do alot of reflecting because you obviously have alot more personal experience than me - and that really made me realize alot that i was ignoring before. thanks. anyway, if you ever need a friend man, i dont know you but im here for you. you touched me. i hope you can figure out your life and put the pieces back together. im not religious, but im prayin for you bra.
BG
Not passing judgement on you man, but to me castrating yourself is a tragedy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stowned
No judgment passed at all. It's your opinion and I respect it but I don't agree with it. It is an opinion shared by most people nevertheless.Quote:
Originally Posted by BGizzle
I once thought like that too, until one day when I had an epiphany and realized the vary purpose of this reality and the way it manipulates itself to serve this purpose. This was enough for me to come to the conclusion that, to be separated from this purpose, is to be free from realities manipulation and thus free to govern my own choices.
I refuse to become another victim of evolutions force.
I would elaborate further but Iā??m afraid that it would require me to reveal some of my personal doctrines and belief systems, and due to the unique nature of them, It would succeed in revealing my true identity.
Hey tryna ,Quote:
Originally Posted by trynagethigh
Me too w/ the past fuel/pmp history man . I've been wrenchin -n- racing since i was 14 . i'm 37 now BTW . I was cold , so the garage door was closed / not enuf ventalation . I knew better too . "Fuk it" bit me in the ass hard bro. lol .
I met a guy in hosp. that was under a ranger w/ tank out doing pump n left ign. turned fwd. shit blew up in his face when he plugged pump back in . I count my blessings .
I remember all of it , no shock here man . flash was like lighting a gas grill too late times 1,000,000 . I act. heard the whoosh coming , I had time to drop pump/sock n tools to cvr. my face . cuncussion buckled the roll up door so bad it wouldn't roll up but 3-4 inches . -n- rubber weatherstrip melted side entry dr. shut . roof was burnt out n knocked out phone , cable , elect lines before i was even out of garage . oxy / actyl regs. melted but tanks never blew , and the actual gastank never exploded . Crispi hid his face n crossed his legs -n- prayed for the best , the guy in the sky was really lookin out man .
6 yrs. -n- $14,000,000 in medical expenses later . Crispis back at the dragstrip , and smoking fat cannons being himself again . And bionic .
Quit smoking ? Are you nutz !!!! I got a med. card outa the deal . lol .
the only phobia i'm left w/ . lol . is when you fill a cars tank up all the way -n- all the vapor comes outa the coal canister . The smell scares the hell outa me man .
God Bless Bro .
Look Fwd. -N- Not Back
Your cuz
Crispi :S5:
Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsie roll
Thanks for your words, it means allot. If it wasn't for the PTSD disability diagnosis, I would be in Iraq continuing my service. As strange as it sounds I feel guilty for not being there. Although it is nice being able to toke again:thumbsup:
Look at it this way Smokey, maybe it was a sign that it was time for you to come home to your family for whatever reason...:) i say dont question it, your higher power takes you where you need to be. As far as Im concerned you have served your country well and deserve to be home, :thumbsup: I as well thank you. This bud is for you..:jointsmile: :jointsmile: :jointsmile:
Thanks BGizle,
Your thoughts and prayers are most definitly appreciated and needed. W e really have to be grateful for what we have BG as we truly never realize how blessed we are in spite of all of the problems we may have. Much to my disbelief, there are people with worse problems. I was recently at a restaurant that I used to visit everyday and just found out that the one really nice waitress that I know there had a fire at her house a couple of years ago lost all 5 of her kids and her two grandkids to a horrible fire. Needless to say as we talked she broke down in tears and about had me the same way. My heart truly goes out to her. Ive lost plenty but to lose all of your children and grandkids, i think i would have laid there with them and died as well. I truly dont think i would go on without my kids, but i have to keep going for them. Like Xcrispi said, whatever dont kill you only makes you stronger, so i gotta keep stepping.
:jointsmile: :jointsmile: :jointsmile:
no but my choices kind of potentiated tragic events, after becomming castrated i lost many things, namely my girlfriend and my father and my highschool sweetheart. lesson learned, girls really like dicks no matter if you have elemental capacities to make them orgasm. ther is no such thing as love, love is a limited and conditional element. its just a pipe dream to fool us all i noticed alot of great discussions here at the cannabis message board
So many shitty things have happened to me that I can't even keep track anymore.:wtf:
You guys tell me that I don't seem 15, there's a reason for that. I had to grow up quick.
Life hit me really fast. People tell me that I shouldn't worry or panic as much as I do and to just be a kid. What they don't realize is that after you've reached a certain point in your mind, it's hard to reverse it.
My psych tells me I may be biologically 15, but I've got the mind of someone in their 30s. She also tells me that she's surprised I'm alive, haha. I tell her its because I'm God. ;)
It pisses me off sometimes that I didn't have what every other kid seemed to have, but at the same time I like that. I like that I'm more mature than the kids my age and thats why my friends look to me for advice. It's nice knowing that people can come to me for help. :)
I always tell myself, "Life has got to get worse before it gets better" and I've said it before on the boards. Just remember that there will ALWAYS be someone who has it worse than you.