Let me live in your closet!

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Originally Posted by Cheeched Chick HiGh

Its almost to the point I dont think I could live without him...or maybe just wouldnt want to...hes become my best friend...and I love him so much, it would kill me in a thousand ways...

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well sweety i felt like that with my ex i was caged up by him for 10 years and he treated me like i was shit but none the less i thought i was so in love that i didnt see the bad in him i wouldnt look at the life we had and how negitive it was i just hought that the love i had for him would get me thru and it ended up almost killin me!! so im beggin u before it gets any worse on u babe leave or u too will be stuck with no hope.. took me a long time to get over him but i did and now im cool and u will be too.. sweety ur young sooooooo many more men out there!!

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Originally Posted by Cheeched Chick HiGh

Its almost to the point I dont think I could live without him...or maybe just wouldnt want to...hes become my best friend...and I love him so much, it would kill me in a thousand ways...

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he is fucking up your life, from what ive seen....ive never taken to kindly to you sice you joined...you seemed like everyday you were stealing or getting kicked out or doing hard drugs and just being an all around immoral chemicaly dependant person, but i DONT not like you....look...you are a good person inside, and you say it would kill you in a million ways, well my best friend ive had for 16 years..my whole life...died, and that kills ME but LIFE LIVES ON. YOU atleast have a reason to rid yourself of him. You are 17, full of hormones and confusion. You think you love him ebcuase you WANT to love him so badly...and obviously you dont like who he has made you becuase of the scuicide attempts...be yourself...be free...weather that is with or without weed or any other substance...it isnt worth being in love with a negative influence


you say it will kill you in a thousand ways if you lost him, well keep this shit up and one of you will be dead on in jail by the time you reach 20 regardless

try getting him out of jail or back to life.

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Originally Posted by Cheeched Chick HiGh

I started to get into trouble when I met my boyfriend Andy, which Ive been with now for a couple years...prior to knowing him my record was clean and I never stole anything and I didnt even DO drugs :o I was a goodie goodie christian girl...and yeah, I look at my life now and hate myself for everything Ive done. Ive been put in psych wards for suicide and shit because how much I hate myself...I wouldnt of broken into that safe either had I not been with Andy...I dunno...but, I love him...so...its like nothing matters, and I dont care what happens to me, and Id rather that I did die...

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Andy needs to go. He is not good. Anyone that puts you in that position, makes you less of a person is not in love with you. If he loved you, he would never place you in those situations. I've seen your pics on here, you are hot as damn hell so you could obviously get a better man. A real man who is not a lunatic.

You need some counseling, and I don't say that to be a jackass. You need to work your shit out before you end up looking like a crack whore in some prison somewhere. Or get killed because of some idiot that likes to bring his girl along on criminal sprees. It is only a matter of time before the hammer drops with this guy.

Dunno why you hate yourself, and sure you probably don't want to discuss on here, but you should start by being clean. Lay off the weed and everything else until you are clear headed. Everyone goes through shit, everyone has felt they were shit at some point in their lives. This will pass, figure out why you feel that way and fix it.

Try helping others. Volunteer somewhere helping people. This sounds lame, but helping others less fortunate than you will do wonders.
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ya ya, nobody asked.. I'm off my soapbox now.

Hey, I want to be in that closet too Ammie and Cheeched! hehe :D

Yeah, I havent smoked or down any pills or anything for like 4 days now :) and I decided myself that I wasnt going to.

I used to volunteer alot...like at Community Cafe (A place where you feed the homeless) and I used to be a volunteer at a Bible camp all summer and I worked in the kitchen and did skits and stuff.

Andy does bring me down alot...a few days ago he was so drunk (I hate alcohol, so I dont drink) and he told my friend Gary he wanted to talk to me (Gary drank a beer or so and got out of jail and was on probation) and half way to my house he told Gary he was only going there to yell at me. Well, they were only like 4 miles away from where I was so me and my friend Kelly went towards where they were and Andy immediately got out of the car screaming "HANNAH GT THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR NOW GET THE FUCK OUT" and so I did even though I didnt want to because I was scared...and he just ripped into me...the only thing I said to him was "I love you, Andy look at yourself" and I broke down into tears and fell on my knees...and then because Andy was screaming so loud someone called the cops and he got a minor...and then Gary had to go back to jail.

Even his friends tell me he treats me like shit and I deserve better. Theres been various times his cousins pushed him against the wall telling him to lay off and his brother got in his face once cause he thought he was about to nail me...

I dont know why I love him, I question that often...but, I do...and it hurts to think of m not being with him :( It makes me incredibly sad. Hes become my best friend...and Im scared of loosing him...

cheeched.. listen.. best friends dont treat you like that. if they do then theyre not your best friend

boyfriends shouldnt treat you like that, either, hon.. if they do then you need to get there fuck out of there..

no matter how much it'll hurt you to split up with him, i gaurentee you itll hurt you alot more in the long run if you stay with him..

find someone better.. a guy that knows how to treat you with respect.. thats what most normal guys are like.. well at least they should be :confused:

but hey, at the end of the day, its your life.. i just hate to hear or see people getting treated like shit :(

^Yeah, hes a little anal and doesnt know how to talk all he does is scream...david, his cousin, told me he thinks Andy will abuse me in lik 20 years if we'r still together...my dad thinks hes a time whore cause I get in trouble if Im not ALWAYS with him on my free time...sometimes I wanna be with lik Kelly and he starts bitching "I know you want to be with them more then me" blah blah immature shit that gets on my nerves and yet I deal...

dude.. he shouldnt bitch at you for anything.. he should never shout at you for anything.. he should never even raise his voice at you.. and he definately shouldnt try and control you like that.. next time he does, kick him in the balls lol :p

Had i a closet, you'd be more then invited to stay in it. :D

The C

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Originally Posted by Cheeched Chick HiGh

I dont know why I love him, I question that often...but, I do...and it hurts to think of m not being with him :( It makes me incredibly sad. Hes become my best friend...and Im scared of loosing him...

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You don't love him that is the sad thing. I think you love to feel like shit. It is like being married to someone who beats you. A nasty little repetitive cycle of abuse. The train won't stop until you put on the brakes. To him you are a pet dog. He can kick you, spit on you, abuse you, and you will always be there loyal to him. That is not right. Fuck him.

Yes it will be hard tossing him out the door. But if you don't do it now the worse it will get. I hope you figure that out before too much damage is done. People like him are the biggest cowards on earth. They find victims, (yes you are a victim) with crappy self esteem for whatever reason, be it a shit home life or whatever, then they fuck with them and demoralize them even more. Soon you will think that you are unworthy of anyone but him, which is just what he wants so he can keep fucking with you. Get rid of him. I know that sounds callous, but if you don't you will end up in jail, fucked up or worse dead. Get out before you hit the bottom wherever that may be.

I know nothing about you other than that you are a fellow human being on this crazy planet which makes you just as special as everyone else. Every soul is unique. And no I am not some religious freak. I don't like to see people being abused and used, especially someone as obviously young as you. This guy is not worthy of you. He doesn't love you. And as much as you think you love him, if you look deep in your heart I think you will realize that is not true. You are just scared. And that is ok. You are ok. And you will be ok when you move on and leave him behind. It will hurt like hell for awhile, and as much as you will want to escape and get fucked up, you should really not until you are healthy. If you are using to escape from life you are using for the wrong reasons.

ok, ok, I will shut up now.:rolleyes:

right on, man!! :)

alright, i have no clue if i read all this right or not but if you an ur boyfriend robbed a bank ur basicaly fucked. i dun know bout round there but here to go in a bank u cant wear a hat or sunglasses or ull get thrown out really damn quick. theres shit loads of cameras an whitnesses at a bank usualy. next time try a liquor store, theyre easier.


probation sux dont it??? i been there fer over three years but jus recently got off

how old ya??

peace n bagz
kronik

ok, im sorry fer postin again an like i said i dont know if i read it right, but armed robbery iz a lil too serious of a charge to jus go to a lil group home er boot camp in tha states or at least in cali. if you live here ull prolly end up in a YA er somethin

Holy, 52 posts. You have alot of places to stay cheech.

Cheech Get the fuck away from him he's no good.

lol there both as bad as each other jsu that shes makin out shes the goody too shoes :)

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I dont know why I love him, I question that often...but, I do...and it hurts to think of m not being with him It makes me incredibly sad. Hes become my best friend...and Im scared of loosing him...

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textbook victim statement. You're not scared of LOSING him, you're scared to be on your own. it may sound strange to everybody but you, cheeched, but in your own way you need him. you've got too much love in you for this guy, and he doesn't deserve any part of you...if he can't respect you enough to control his voice, or his drinking, or any other aspect of his life, how far is he really gonna get in life? would you be okay with taking a night-shift factory job so he can have beer to drink while he sits on his ass at home? (it may be extreme, but I'd be willing to bet that's where he's headed). take a good long look at yourself, and ask when you've had enough? will it be the next time he yells at you? the next time he uses you as an accessory to robbery? when he starts to beat you, will you think its because you don't love him enough?

I may sound condescending and cruel, and I might not know your situation...but seeing as how you only have bad things to say about him (and his own family feels that way too) its time to realize that no matter how much you love him, he's not going to change.

and don't be afraid to ask for help...99% of men will gladly protect a pretty young girl from her aggressive drunken boyfriend...I know I would.

Cheeched, like Ammie said, been there done that...in fact I was 17 at the time, too. Is he older than you? It sounds like he's using his postion in your life to control you...that is not love, that is ownership. You have to get him out of your life. End of story. You think you love him, but you know what, you've made him the center of your life and now you feel like you don't know what you'd do without him. Guess what? You can do plenty without him, you had a life before you met him and you will again afterwards.

I know how it feels to be really scared of someone. You think that staying is just easier because it keeps the peace for a while and you're out of danger. But you're not, the longer you stay, the worse it will get. Trust me on this. It sounds like he is trying to keep you from your friends, next it will be your family. This is the beginning of him trying to isolate you. Next will come the hitting, I promise you, he will hit you next. It may start with pushing or shoving or grabbing your arm...but soon it will lead to bruising, mark my words.

I would say definitely DO NOT tell him anything. Don't tell him about counseling, or that you're thinking of leaving him. You do not want to provoke him. When you've gotten some help, tell your friends and family that you are going to break up with him and do it. Do not do it by yourself. I know this sounds like a shitty way to break up with someone but I had to break up with my crazy ex over the phone! While he was away at boot camp. That way I knew he couldn't come and get me or whatever, cuz he would have if he was in town. Cheech, if I didn't break up with him when I did I garuantee I would be dead by now.

This post will turn into a novel if I tell you more but trust me, things will get worse if you stay. Don't listen to his bullshit, "I love yous." either, cuz that is all crappola. If he yells at you or hits you and then turns around and buys you a gift, don't accept it. Make a plan to get him out of your life and follow through with it. Make it a clean and simple break and do not see after it's over. Once it's over, keep it that way. Do not meet him "just to talk" or any of that. He will do everything he can to weasel his way back into your life. Be strong and don't let him near you.

I wrote a poem about how I felt when I was with him...but I don't remember which one it is. Lulu knows what it is, if she sees this, maybe she can put the link in here so you can read it and know that I understand exactly how you feel right now.

Keep in touch and I'll help you out however I can: [email protected]..

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Originally Posted by DrGonzo

You're not scared of LOSING him, you're scared to be on your own. it may sound strange to everybody but you, cheeched, but in your own way you need him..

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Agreed...it's called "the comfy slippers senario"...
You believe (subconsciously) that you cannot survive without him. The thought of chage scares the shit out of you, because you have been made to believe that anything other than that which you know (no matter how abhorrent (ie, abuse, neglect, mental or physical)) is quite unattainable.
I know some people (mainly women) who have managed to break from their 'prison', and only after much discussion and revelation to the facts do they now see how 'trapped' they were by their own minds.

It's not easy for you to see this, Cheeched, but I shit you not - the only restriction to your options is you.
(http://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/905446)
THE COMFY SLIPPERS SCENARIO
A person becomes dependant on their way of life, as the notion of being alone and starting a new life is too daunting to contemplate. They accept and adopt this scenario, believing that anything else would be detrimental to themselves and their existence. The 'comfy slippers scenario' offers a security and familiarity that they have committed themselves to, which gives way to guilt and compassion. Furthermore, this long-term relationship's non-communicative nature indicates that resolution is an arduous task.
However, this pattern can manifest itself in short-term relationships also. In particular, when that 'routine' is so embedded into that person's psyche, that they feel alienation from any other scenario. Eventually, they fall back into the cycle of regression that they grew accustomed to before, endlessly repeating itself until it becomes the accepted norm.
Examples of these patterns are evident especially in cases of domestic abuse. The victim (usually female) stays within that violent environment, due to the suppression of their individuality and sense of independence. They can embrace a "better the devil you know" mentality, because of fear of the unknown.
Moreover, this phenomenon is apparent within non-violent marriages.
Over time, the love has simply dissolved and one (or both) partners have exhausted all attempts at reconciliation. Again, change seems daunting and unfamiliar, but the pattern is already set and the unhappy person wears the 'comfy slippers'.

Of course, it's one thing 'knowing' the problem...it's an entirely different thing to go about changing it.
"You just gotta make up your own damn mind"..The Oracle, Matrix.

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Originally Posted by maryjanemama

Cheeched, like Ammie said, been there done that...in fact I was 17 at the time, too. Is he older than you? It sounds like he's using his postion in your life to control you...that is not love, that is ownership. You have to get him out of your life. End of story. You think you love him, but you know what, you've made him the center of your life and now you feel like you don't know what you'd do without him. Guess what? You can do plenty without him, you had a life before you met him and you will again afterwards.

I know how it feels to be really scared of someone. You think that staying is just easier because it keeps the peace for a while and you're out of danger. But you're not, the longer you stay, the worse it will get. Trust me on this. It sounds like he is trying to keep you from your friends, next it will be your family. This is the beginning of him trying to isolate you. Next will come the hitting, I promise you, he will hit you next. It may start with pushing or shoving or grabbing your arm...but soon it will lead to bruising, mark my words.

I would say definitely DO NOT tell him anything. Don't tell him about counseling, or that you're thinking of leaving him. You do not want to provoke him. When you've gotten some help, tell your friends and family that you are going to break up with him and do it. Do not do it by yourself. I know this sounds like a shitty way to break up with someone but I had to break up with my crazy ex over the phone! While he was away at boot camp. That way I knew he couldn't come and get me or whatever, cuz he would have if he was in town. Cheech, if I didn't break up with him when I did I garuantee I would be dead by now.

This post will turn into a novel if I tell you more but trust me, things will get worse if you stay. Don't listen to his bullshit, "I love yous." either, cuz that is all crappola. If he yells at you or hits you and then turns around and buys you a gift, don't accept it. Make a plan to get him out of your life and follow through with it. Make it a clean and simple break and do not see after it's over. Once it's over, keep it that way. Do not meet him "just to talk" or any of that. He will do everything he can to weasel his way back into your life. Be strong and don't let him near you.

I wrote a poem about how I felt when I was with him...but I don't remember which one it is. Lulu knows what it is, if she sees this, maybe she can put the link in here so you can read it and know that I understand exactly how you feel right now.

Keep in touch and I'll help you out however I can: [email protected]..

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http://boards.cannabis.com/showthread.php?t=1667

Btw, great post Maryjane ;)

Thanks, Lulu, I knew I could count on you. # 15 is the one I was talking about.

How long ago was this now? I mean it could be blown over or someone else could have gotten the boot for it.

I agree your signature makes no sence. Getting high can cause lots of drama...as for me im up for that challenge! ;)

I really liked your poems, MJM...I know where they came from ;)
You seem to have made the journey, but just in case you are still a little lost I would recommend that link that I posted in the reply above - even if it just affirms your own discovery. It is a peice of writing that I edited for a good friend of mine, who suffered as much as any woman I know :)

Res...

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Originally Posted by maryjanemama

Cheeched, like Ammie said, been there done that...in fact I was 17 at the time, too. Is he older than you? It sounds like he's using his postion in your life to control you...that is not love, that is ownership. You have to get him out of your life. End of story. You think you love him, but you know what, you've made him the center of your life and now you feel like you don't know what you'd do without him. Guess what? You can do plenty without him, you had a life before you met him and you will again afterwards.

I know how it feels to be really scared of someone. You think that staying is just easier because it keeps the peace for a while and you're out of danger. But you're not, the longer you stay, the worse it will get. Trust me on this. It sounds like he is trying to keep you from your friends, next it will be your family. This is the beginning of him trying to isolate you. Next will come the hitting, I promise you, he will hit you next. It may start with pushing or shoving or grabbing your arm...but soon it will lead to bruising, mark my words.

I would say definitely DO NOT tell him anything. Don't tell him about counseling, or that you're thinking of leaving him. You do not want to provoke him. When you've gotten some help, tell your friends and family that you are going to break up with him and do it. Do not do it by yourself. I know this sounds like a shitty way to break up with someone but I had to break up with my crazy ex over the phone! While he was away at boot camp. That way I knew he couldn't come and get me or whatever, cuz he would have if he was in town. Cheech, if I didn't break up with him when I did I garuantee I would be dead by now.

This post will turn into a novel if I tell you more but trust me, things will get worse if you stay. Don't listen to his bullshit, "I love yous." either, cuz that is all crappola. If he yells at you or hits you and then turns around and buys you a gift, don't accept it. Make a plan to get him out of your life and follow through with it. Make it a clean and simple break and do not see after it's over. Once it's over, keep it that way. Do not meet him "just to talk" or any of that. He will do everything he can to weasel his way back into your life. Be strong and don't let him near you.

I wrote a poem about how I felt when I was with him...but I don't remember which one it is. Lulu knows what it is, if she sees this, maybe she can put the link in here so you can read it and know that I understand exactly how you feel right now.

Keep in touch and I'll help you out however I can: [email protected]..

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god we must have had the same guy!!!

I'd let you live in my closet, but it's full of corpses.

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Originally Posted by apsinthion

At the rate your going you're either going to end up dead or in jail.:( It seem's like every day you're either stealing something, crashing a car, doing hard drug's, failing drug test's or getting threatend by ex-boyfriend's.

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drinking bleach man, dont forget the bleach. :)

yr young cheeched, he sounds like a high maintenance bitch. be rid of it.

stealings bullshit.

"HANNAH GT THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR NOW GET THE FUCK OUT"

man if he treats girls like that he needs more then broken up with..that shit dont fly around here thats for sure..

^The first time he yelled at me...it really hurt me, after awhile I've built a wall around myself to any voice above the level of my own (And Ive purposely forgotten how to yell).

I just hope he'll change, he keeps saying hes going to do all this great stuff, but then he never does anything about it. He cant hold a job even for more then a month (if even that). And he says my success at my job is only because I am a girl. And I told him how I want to get my doctors degree in paleantology (Which would take 8 yrs, mind you) and he always is like "Great, now youre going to meet some other guy and fall in love with him" or hes like "Maybe we should just break up now" or tells me that when he gets into the army he'll go active so he'll only be around a month out of each year. And I wish he'd support me, because I have the GPA to get into that University and others...

He is really sweet though...I love how hes adventurous...like when we go fourwheeling and dirt biking...and he sk8 boards with me...I dunno...I love him, I put some much into the relationship I dont want to let everything go for nothing...

Im the only one in the relationship with a job (I give him money usually), Im the only one with a car (I always go to see him whereever he is, he never comes to me -- which does get on my nerves and hurts to a degree). He never calls me, because he doesnt have a house...he just bumps around from people to people...so its not like I can call him...but, he makes absolutely no effort to call me.

However, he is faithful to me...I do know that...and I do love him...and Ive given him so much...and taken so much out of me, I dont want to know that Ive done all of that...for nothing...

Thanks for the poem MJM...Im going to read it in 2.2

Cheeched,
I don't know you, nor have I made any effort to converse with you prior to this. But after reading these posts, I have a feeling I know the kind of guy you're stuck with. From the sounds of things, he needs to grow up and get a clue. He's transient, needy to a fault, and verbally abusive. No female should have to endure any of those things. It's understandable that it is a frightening prospect to lose him, not because of losing the actual person, but because of the void it will create in your life. But that void will fill, replaced by someone who has those qualitites that you find so enduring in him, and without those that are so painful.

By ending this relationship you will be doing yourself more good than you can imagine. You say you don't want to have put so much into a relationship just to let it go for nothing. No relationship is ever worthless, the lessons learned in failed relationships are far more valuable than those learned in healthy ones. Love is about give and take, and though he has taken so much from you, he has given you back life experience that will prove to be invaluable in the future.

I was trying to avoid another long post, so, leave him. Enroll in college, meet new people, move on. Let him join the Army, if they don't whip him into some sort of shape, he's a lost case. Don't contact him after you move on, don't allow him to contact you. Remove yourself from a situation that causes you so much pain. You're an extremely attractive and intelligent girl and you can do better. Hell, if I was a little younger and not married.....

Do not allow him to scar you any deeper than he has already. Much love and this toke's for you.

Peas out:D

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Originally Posted by Cheeched Chick HiGh

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He is really sweet though...I love how hes adventurous...like when we go fourwheeling and dirt biking...and he sk8 boards with me...I dunno...I love him, I put some much into the relationship I dont want to let everything go for nothing...

Im the only one in the relationship with a job (I give him money usually), Im the only one with a car (I always go to see him whereever he is, he never comes to me -- which does get on my nerves and hurts to a degree). He never calls me, because he doesnt have a house...he just bumps around from people to people...so its not like I can call him...but, he makes absolutely no effort to call me.

However, he is faithful to me...I do know that...and I do love him...and Ive given him so much...and taken so much out of me, I dont want to know that Ive done all of that...for nothing...

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Let "everything" go? What are you letting go. A damn mooch, who just uses you. WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I certainly hope you don't let this idiot talk you out of college. Leave him, or your life will be ruined eventually. That is what it comes down too. Everyone has choices. Every choice has consequences good and bad, it is a part of growing up. You need to make yours. Hopefully you make the right one and kick this bum to the street.

maybe you will get locked up but maybe it might be for the right reasons when your in love its hard to see someone you love through someone elses eyes and sometimes for that to happen it takes something drastic your boyfriend needs to sort himself out and so do you this bonnie and clyde shit aint gonna do nothing but drag you down if a stranger was standing on top of a bridge with a rope around his neck with a rock tied onto it and you happened to be passing by and he called you and said stand up here and ill wrap the rope around the two of us and we can jump would you jump because this is whats happening with you and your boyfriend but love has made you blind to this if you didnt know him he would be a stranger so because you love him and know him does that mean you must follow him wherever he goes even if it means a life of crime or even worse no life at all love is a tough one im still tryna figure it out myself im just stating the obvious i hope your boyfriend sorts himself out for your sake i bet he tells you he'd die for you true love is about life together ask him can he live for you because from what you said he lives for everything but you. god bless you from someone who cares for his people jay