"It all sounds like fun, love, but don't be alarmed....when the waiter returns and spills jizz on your arm"
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"It all sounds like fun, love, but don't be alarmed....when the waiter returns and spills jizz on your arm"
Wow my face hurts so much from smiling...ahhh masturbation jokes..*sigh*
hahaa back in grade 8 mme and my friend were bored in science class so we spent the whole class writing down new euphenisms for getting off....."Juicing the carrot, rolling the dough, buttering the bread, etc."....Omg I'm gonna start a thread about this right now.
hahahha i'll be posting in THAT!
K, the thread is up, love.
once i jizzed on a house's doorknob....heh
Thats kinda fucked.
haha i cant believe this thread resurfaced
Ive done that, 12 hour car ride.Quote:
Originally Posted by NightProwler
Ive been caught by my parents a few times, its not that bad
i jacked off in this girls mouth before but it wasnt really jacking off cuz she was using her mouth:jointsmile:
I don't "jack off" in weird places per se, but sometimes when im high i get this overwhelming urge to pet the kitty....
i cant imagine anything worse. i could never speak to my mother againQuote:
Originally Posted by Samwhore
as to the thread i dont jerk off in random places
it's a bit diffrent for girls ya know... you just gotta rub a little nub (lmfao that rhymes!!!! rofl!!!1!1!1!1oneone!)Quote:
Originally Posted by Samwhore
btw, i can't believe this thread popped up either... i still think it's weird as shit you'd even be thinking of masturabtion at an elementary school, much less cumming on the side of a building
"oh yeah baby.. some kid is going to touch my jizz"
lol nah i'm just fucking around... although o.0 it does leave me wondering... how far was home, and what were you doing there in the first place? i've never been so horny in my life i couldn't wait til i was safely in a room by myself with a locked door inbetween me and anyone else....
i can't tell you how sexy that sounds, i'm nto one to be turned on over the internet... but damnit... if my wife said that to me it'd be like BOING!Quote:
Originally Posted by dutch.lover
why thank u...i should try it on my bf sometime...
purrrrr
lol some sick people out there
going to grandmans house, about 5 years ago, home was 8 hours away and we still had 5 to goQuote:
Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
all she said was "dont let grandma catch you"Quote:
Originally Posted by suhl
but that was 3 years ago
lol cumming on a building is funny fuckin shit
ahahahaha
well i guess this story can go here.
one day at my work i was feelin horny, and theres a really slutty girl that works with me. we went to the basement together, one thiing led to another, and sure enough my dick is in her hand. so i blow my load on her stomach, (keep in mind that i havent blown in a week or so)and it just keeps commming and comming (literally) I honestly think i jizzed for 15 seconds straight, because me and her started having a conversation before it was done lol. after that, i grabbed a paper towel to clean her off. I turn around, and her body is absolutly covered in jizz, like i couldnt even see her skin anymore there was so much. She looked down and was just like "wow...." I was like, "hmmm, i think u better clean yourself off." ahahah
LOL! good times
:)
Quote:
Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
uh i was stayin at my friends for the night, a few towns over. weren't goin back home for a few hours, just hangin around, walkin around town. i did it as more of a dare, not that i couldnt contain myself lol
what the................?
Just do it in your bed you sick fuck lol
what thoughts crossed your mind to make you actually do this? Cause this kinda shit doesn't cross my mind or anyone else that i know, especially when blazed, maybe if you were on x or crack or something like that but not on weed..............
I can just imagine the scenario if a pig were to pull up on you beating your meat on the wall of a public school.............
I try not to leave my DNA around for someone to scoop up and leave at murder sceens.
WOW! I said a mouth full eh?
i jacked off by a pond and caught a frog and put some cum on a stick and put it into its hole.
Could that be considered INVETRO-BEASTIALITY?
you jacked off at an elementary school and came on the wall.... wtf
This shit is fucked up.
i cant remember if i posted this before but...i jerked off in a library once, just because i could.
i blew my load in a magazine, closed it and returned it to the shelf
I once jacked off on a bud and gave it to my sisters friend. she wanted to know what it was. I told her i got it from a FAT SAC and as far as i knew is was a hybred of Wang X Skunk.
hehehhe, too bad she didnt know it was your sackQuote:
Originally Posted by Gatekeeper777
good god, i once did it in a church but to be fair it was my g/f giving me the hand job and i was rubbing her clit and fingering her, the people around us smelled her pussy tho. probably turned them on, gross old people....
that sounded kinda bad, its not like she had a extra smelly pussy but the scent of a vagina is pretty noticeable.
i did it in the car once at a grocery store parking lot, that was the most awkward. the milf walked by the car and looked in, i think she almost had a heart attack. she looked a few more times too.
damn rebgirl you're pretty kinky, kinky girls are fun.
loooolloololollol fuckin eh
haha, thats some sick shit man, fucked up
one time i went to golden corral baked, this one waitress had this amazing ass. i mean, god damnit. i got an instant stiffy and went to the bathroom and beat off.
The more I look at this thread title the more I think it should be the title of a country song...
well if you ever been to an all boys military school or something and you dont see girls for awhile you get honry as fuck. I rmeber in are rooms we had like study time and I finished my home work and I was honry as fuck and I was like well all the other kids are looking down at there school work. So I quietly tunred on my comp and put some porn on and beat my meat like undercover then after I finsihed and nutted into some paper and threw it away and then I had to run to the comp because the porno was still playing and the sargent staff guy or what ever was walking to see why I had my computer on... another time when I was in rehab and no girls and nothing but guys and no porno or nothing so I didnt beat my meat for like 6 months. Then when I left the place I was so fuckign honry I beat off in a some restaurnt bathroom after seeing some girls. The of course I cured this by going out and getting a high class good looking hooker lol
yeah all sorts of random places...I did it in school once when I was in detention blazed up but i knew i wouldnt get caught. Did it in my mates flat once..he wasn't there and i was just sat fucked out of my face.
Garth brooks?Quote:
Originally Posted by Skink
Well i jacked off in random places,and sometimes in peoples faces
please take my blue balls away, it will be ok.
I'm not big on social graces, all over this town i've left my genetic traces that I've sprayed....
sound familiar? :p
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg thats so fucked up dude.Quote:
Originally Posted by rickytikki
I wanna make that my signature. How do u do that? I'm new.
copy the quote in a reply message .... thingy.... thing...
and paste it in your siggy section in the user CP
ya need 50+ posts firstQuote:
Originally Posted by 420marijuana420
what does he want to copy that he finds funny?