Originally Posted by Trichocereus Panza
chisme, I think you are really scaring some of us bro. I'm glad you realize you don't really want to kill yourself; this probably is not the place for you to talk about serious shit as you can see from some of these other posts.
I can't believe people are actually giving recommendations on how to OD and making jokes, how about some real sympathy people. I can't even tell when they're joking or not. It just makes me scared and sad when we're dealing with real human lives and someone's deep personal feelings and we see people responding like this.
I can see you're embarrassed about whatever it is, but maybe it isn't as bad as you think. Fuck dude, do you really think we're judging you? I'm not anyway. Just be calm and think things over, maybe save your money for the medical attention you seem to need/want rather than drugs (although perhaps a GOOD strong experience or two can give you some clarity and perspective to think things through better...)
Have you ever heard of Iboga/Ibogaine? People have used this strong psychedelic to cure themselves of all kinds of unwanted addictions, by allowing them to look back on their lives objectively and calmly. It's possible to see what you've done wrong in the past without judging yourself or thinking it's too late to change. It sounds like you mostly just need a clean slate, THEN you can deal with your problems. So maybe a therapeutic voyage IS in order, just make sure you come back from it, and hopefully you'll re-emerge in better health. okay?
I don't know your situation so this may be all wrong but I hope it works out better than you think.