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Quote:
Originally Posted by Das Boot
thats fucking disgusting id slap hi mif he came near me even if he was my cousin.
my mother used to be a child minder and this one little cunt came into MY house whent into the toilet yeah then shat his pants while standing infront of toilet and used it to paint the walls with.
yes i did give him a slap
one time in year 7, i was in a like, pitch area to play football and stuff, i was standing there, and i tried to fart so bad cuz i wanted to at the time.... that i shit myself a lil bit... LOL
This is the best thread ever.
I think the mods should share their experiences aswell.
this guy i know was driving from nyc to jersey and he was stuck in traffic on the george washington bridge and he got the ol' warm stomach hershey squirt feeling, lol. once you're stuck on the bridge, there's no getting anywhere. so the sick bastard had an empty pizza box in his car...he opened it up, dumped in it, shut the box and put it in the back seat. the best part was that the people in traffic next to him watched him do the whole thing!!!!
last time i pissed myself.....four budweiser forties were responsible
I used to be a postman,
I was delivering mail in a large estate and had been holding my piss in for a while by now,
I thought I could hold it in till I got to the block on up the road with a lot of hedges and trees that I could release behind,
it turns out I couldn't and it wouldn't have been professional to whip it out on the street in full view so I had to walk along slowly with it dribbling down my legs, I was holding it making sure it didn't gush out or someone would have noticed,
I was wearing my navy uniform so you couldn't see the wet patch but I did end up with a rash and I was not so friendly that day to the public cause I didn't want to stop and talk as they may have smelt the stale urine.
another shit moment
as a kid i went with the
county on a field trip.
to seaside lagoon.
saltwater swimming pool next to the beach.
i was in the middle swimming and i felt a terrible
pressure in my gut.i was alone and thought
fuck it ill shit it out and swim away.
i figured since it was a big titanic looking thing that it would sink.
fuck no that shit was like a life preserver.
when some one seen the brown shark
they took everone out of the water.
looked like the jaws movies cuz everyone was in a rush to get out.
"please get out of the water get out of the lagoon"over the loudspeaker
my shit did all this.no one knew and on the way home everyone was making jokes but they didnt know i did that.
hahaha you sharted!:D this thread is the best!Quote:
Originally Posted by CrAzYpOtHeAd
r.i.p.tokosan[poo]
my brother was at work once...in a church of all places. he couldn't find the bathroom fast enough, so he made due with the church's utility closet. THEN, the pastor of the church happened to be coming through to check in on the construction and found him in the closet.
talk about embarrassment. :D
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swizzy89304
but mods don't shit...
And if they do, it comes out smelling of roses.Quote:
Originally Posted by del...
Never........apart from when i was in nappys i suppose..........or the time a very big bouncer tried to attack me, lucky i can run
one time i was taking a shortcut through a horse field.. well there was this horse i knew ( it ws our field and horses) and i was walking and he kicked me hitting my thumb then chest then neck i was ok but i blacked out and shit my self went took a shower then my parents made me go to E.R. just gave me some pills....i think .Quote:
Originally Posted by friendowl
thats what ya call anal seepageQuote:
Originally Posted by mrdevious
i shit my pants religeously , on sundays as my donation to god
Although it never happened to me (At least i ant remember :o ) But my friend in 6th grade chugged a bottle of tobasco sauce. ABout an hour later he was walking down the street during a parade and went to fart and shit his pants really bad, it was so sick and funny. lol
Okay, now this is just getting disgusting...
I was walking down the street with my friend and we were having a farting contest. Needless to say i tried to fart so bad i shit myself a little. And im like "CHARLIE WE HAVE TO GO BACK NOW!!" honestly it was so embarrassing but it was hilarious.
Also i have this neighbor kid across the street. He would always hang out with his older brother and I and he was pretty annoying. Anyways he is like 11 now and still wears pull ups to bed incase he wets the bed. He also would pick his but and then sniff it! Gross as fuck!
That gave me the shivers and gag at the same time.
Damn...all of this talk about shit is giving me a M-A-S-S-I-V-E HARDON! Holy shit!
Anyways to be honest with you guys, I never shit in my pants, but I do have a sexual fetish with urine and shit so to speak, and if you can stick with me in my writing and read the whole fucking thing, you will end up laughing your ass off, or puking it off..depends on who you are! Read on!
It was a balmy summer afternoon, and I was at the Jersey Shore parking my car at the same time as the hot babe in the Jeep wrangler was parking her jeep. We ended up parking together (parallel) and she was the hottest fucking thang I ever saw in my life! Long beautiful blonde hair, soft bubbly firm looking butt, nice tits, and god knows what else...anyways, I glanced over at her inside my car as she packed up to go to the beach. She totally ignored my massively pimple face, long disheavled hair, and my stinky presence (I hadnt taken a shower in a week and a half). My bathing shorts were drenched in cum due to masturbation, and you could smeel a mixture of shit, cum, and piss a mile away from where I am :(
anyways she allready headed off to the beach and I was still in my car...next thing you know...I feel an extreme sudden urge to take a MASSIVE shit and piss, and felt very sexually aroused as well, as my cock throbbed with greatness! So I got out of my car, went over to her jeep wrangler (which was open without the cover) jumped into her seat, took down my cum drenched shorts, exposing my tiny cock, then
PFFFFFTTTTT PFFFFFTTTTTT Pow pow pow baam baam baam WHAAAAAMMM BAAAAAMMMM KA KA KA KA KA KA KA TA TA TA TA TA PA PA PA PA PA PO PO PO PO PU PU PU PU, massive streams of shit escaped my hole and ended up all over her seat, as my cock sprayed piss all over her dashboard. There was even a dirty tampon on the floor of the jeep! I ended up rubbing the tampon all over my small micro cock, and finished taking my shit and piss inside of her jeep feeling like a new man!
Oh yeah baby!
New man!
You're an idiot.Quote:
Originally Posted by Toking with Jesus
Gross. I have never shit my pants. When I was little, I remember shitting out in the woods. I think I've pissed myself before...I was about 12.
A friend of mine i know got drunk shit his pants on purpose and laid next to his girlfriend in bed. and she woke up was like WTF is that smell. U SMELL LIKE SHIT WHAT THE HELL MAN. it was funny shit. i wasn't there but he called me up and i heard everything lol. heard her leave too for the night :D
normal threads? where do they put those? must be a special section I have overlooked - ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by friendowl
I dont think I will eat at Dennys anymore thankyouverymuch :D
Shitting your pants - something to look forward to as you get older. :(
Interesting - so did you two hookup or was this just like umm ... two shits passing in the night? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Toking with Jesus
It was interesting really! I have never seen into that side of sex before - its not for me but I can sorta see it now.
Wow Toking with Jesus... Wow. Whatever floats your boat.
Anyways, on to my shit stories. Once, in first grade I remember having to go very bad but I thought I could hold it cause I hated shitting in the school's bathrooms. Just a phobia. Well, it was only the beginning of the day. Needless to say, I couldn't hold myself too well and I ended up dropping a huge log in my pants in the middle of my class.
No one smelled it for awhile, and we went down to the playground across the street to play later for recess. I refused to play with anyone because I knew they'd smell it, or worse it would smear when I went down the slide. So, I stood behind a big tree crying and telling everyone to leave me alone. No one knew what was going on.
Later, when we got back to class, the teacher took me aside and I told her. She called my mom who came and picked me up from school, and I remember my first grade teacher and my mom talking, and my teacher said "I thought I was smelling something at some point." And I thought, 'You bitch, I'm still standing right here.'
The second time, and way too recent time, I was a senior in high school. Me and my girlfriend were in Blockbuster and I had to shit really bad, but I wasn't really having any troubles holding it. But then, I had to fart. Oh I can squeeze this one out, no problems. Not. So. Much. I ended up sharting my pants, and me and my gf were suppose to go hang out over at a friend of ours and watch movies. I sidled up to her as she was looking at movies, and very non-chalantly said "Damn. I just shat my pants." She gives me this look and starts laughing and making fun of me. I told her it's not funny and we had to go home so I could change boxers before we went over there. She made fun of me for the rest of the night... and several months after as well. Oh well, it was pretty funny.
tokingwithjesus are you for real.
you might have to register as a sex offender.
if its true thats some crazy shit.
interesting i just cant see the positives
when it comes to shit piss and bloody tampons
i hope you never have kids.the apples dont fall far from the tree
lmao.
lol... Mods shit,it's just that their shit don't stink...Quote:
Originally Posted by del...
like when i was 12 or 13 i guess
i was sitting on my skateboard in my drive way doin homework befor i forgot about it. well i farted and dident even know it came out. i stood up cause of the smell and was just like... awww shit (im sorry about that but it had to be done)
whent inside and got all clean and not smelly and whent back outside where there was 2 really good looking girls
who i the played basketball with and hung out with them for the rest of that day
I think shitting your pants makes you an interesting person. I need to shit myself.
the best thing to do is eat at the all you can eat buffet
then drink a bottle of super laxative and drive home in traffic
just welcome the shit into your drawers
^^ that might leave a nice pudle in your car
I think shitting over a bridge would be exhilarating.
Any of you guys ever take a shit in a beautiful girl's mouth and have her swallow? :D It is so fucking awesome man...I could swear that after taking a dump inside the prostitutes' syphilis, herpes invaded mouth, and she gulps down my bacteria laden shit (or Bin Laden shit) I always shoot a massive load in tems of excitation and fixation in front of the pee-pee hole, which out bursts a mixture of cum, blood, and piss. Fucking incredible cocktail La fiesta grande so to speak!
Im thinking about playing with my own shit right now as well...ever look at your shit after you take a shit and just whack off at the sie of your shit floating around in the toilet? Well this time, I think im going to take my hands inside of the toilet, grab out the shit, and smear it all over my dick, then perform auto-fellatio (self-sucking) on myself...
will let you guys know how it goes...and if u want..I can upload a picture of me eating my own shit in a few hours...wish me luck!
I really don't believe you, but I also don't want you to prove that you are telling the truth.
toking with jesus-cmon homie enough is enough
the shit shock factor has worn thin.
it was cool at first but know your killing it.
you dont have to lie to kick it
also one time i was at my friends house and we were talking. He was telling us how next time one of us was bored he should go change into old underwear, go into the bathroom, and shit himslef. I dont know if he ever did it though.