sit tight man... when that 8 months is over, think how great the world will seem...better thana nything weed (or crack for that matter) could give you! ( i dont do crack...thats bad...im trying to be funny..so just drop it...argh!)...good luck laddy
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sit tight man... when that 8 months is over, think how great the world will seem...better thana nything weed (or crack for that matter) could give you! ( i dont do crack...thats bad...im trying to be funny..so just drop it...argh!)...good luck laddy
can you talk to a guidence counseler or someone to that eefect? shes justASKING for trouble if she takes away everything! maybe you could go into a foster home until you are 18 or stay w/ a friend.?If you go to counseling-which i would think they would probably make you do- you could tell that to the couselor and they could pull you out of there or make her lighten the fuck up. this will all pass and you have good friends. adversity makes us stonger(believe it or not) please try to think about the people who really like you and you can always go to library or use friends computer. she has to lighten up at some point. how old is she anyway? maybe shes having extreme hormone problems. but really if you speak to a counselor, it might help. good luck we are here for a reason=to learn and to grow- i think you will really grow from this experience!could you get a copy of high times? you can order it thru them have you checked this website to see it they have it? someone could lend you the$ if you smoke and they find out it could make matters worsr(sorry but i had to throw that in.) just protect yourself is all im trying to sayand hang in there youre very young and have your whole life ahaed of you and a million experiences to experiecne!
I have to really thank all of you though. I used to be on forums all the time because, as I said, I had no life, ^_^. Well, the point is, this forum is probably THE greatest I've ever been on. I've never felt a stronger sense of community than on these boards.
It's...It's as if people ACTUALLY care. It's fantastic.
Anyway, the only thing keeping me going is the fact that in 8 months, as Bunkyhope said, the world is going to seem more beautiful than I'd ever imagined it could be.
Brenda is refusing to let me go to a friend's house to live, and I've received advice that maybe it would be better to just spend 3:30 to 8 at the library. Get all my homework done there, then use the computers there to get on these forums. Then when it closes at 8 (small town, everything is usually closed by 6), I can walk home (I only live about 2 miles away, and it only takes me about 30 minutes to get from there to here and vica versa), and then go straight to my room and read.
I'd have more interaction with people because my friends have already said they'll hang out with me at the library. And the best part is, I have two friends that work there and when I'm not there, I'll "still be there." Know what I mean? ^_^ I just have to make sure that for the first couple weeks, I'm ACTUALLY there in case Brenda decides to say, "Let me talk to him." After that, she'll learn to trust me and the fact that I'm actually at the library. That means, I won't have to be there.
It'll work out fantastically. I've also been asking around and plenty of my friends are willing to loan me a couple bucks every months so I can steadily buy those Urine-Pimp solutions, or other solutions that allow me to pass when I'm not clean.
As to the counselor, I'm thinking about doing just that. The probation officer woman person.........said that family counseling is something we can look into when the time comes. I'm vieing for the counselor and me to talk, and not with Brenda. That will do just what you say, I talk to the counselor, tell them what's going on at home and after my session is done, Brenda gets her turn.
With my expressed permission, the counselor will then relay to Brenda that she should seriously learn to lighten up and give me some things back, including, but not limited it, my BOOKS!
I guess last night was just a really depressing time for me after what the probation officer said. I don't really care anymore, though. I've already accepted that I'll be punished, and now all I have to do is get through the next 8 months. It'll be 100% possible, I think, because I'll have you guys, and all my friends will still be "hangin' on" with me.
I'm not going to let Brenda defeat me. I will never give her the satisfaction of knowing she's defeated me. This isn't just about pride, though. I'm not sure what to call it, but it goes much more than that.
I want to thank every single one of you guys for all the help you've given me over the past 2 or so weeks. They're going to be sending out another letter to us telling when I have to appear in court, probably within the next couple weeks, so now I just have to wait to get that over with!
Hang in there.
Ha. Well, the depression came back ten fold tonight. I went into the living room tonight and here's what happened....
"You're not a parent for doing this to me. You're certainly not a guardian, either, because all you're doing is making it worse. Everyone was saying how happy I seemed all of a sudden. How cheerful I had become. It was become of pot or weed or whatever you wanna call it, but so what. You saw it too, don't fucking lie. You saw how fucking happy I was. To go from hating everyone and myself and wanting to kill myself, to, to loving almost everyone and everything. I even loved summer, and the green grass and the breeze. I loved it all, I loved the world, and I loved life. All my bad feelings and thoughts went away."
"Do you wish I was dead?"
"I wish you were dead."
"That's a terrible thing to say."
"So is calling the fucking cops on me. You're no fucking parent."
"What do you want me to do?"
"You can't do fucking shit now because you already called the fucking cops on me. I pray for your death every night, now. Because living in a foster home would be better than living with you in a house of misery and depression. You're nothing to me now. Nothing."
and I hung up on her.
So...now I guess I'm sitting here crying. I feel ashamed for crying, but not ashamed enough to care and stop it. I'm sorry for crying on your guys' shoulders on the time. I am. I don't have anyone else to talk to anymore.
I haven't seen another human being besides my mom and the probation officer in over a week. I've been locked in my house, unable to go outside.....well.....anyway......bye guys.
"I went into the living room tonight and here's what happened.... "
"and I hung up on her."
... I'm confused, where you talking to her in the living room, or on the phone?
Anyway, dont worry, your like 17 right? Soon you will be old enough to leave, but untill then, try to hang in there, because when you finally do get the freedom you desire, it'll be so much sweeter than if you'd already had it. Also, I know it seems dark now, but all things pass in time, so try not to get too hung up on it.
Yeah, I'd be confused too. I had to go in there to get the phone, haaaa, didn't make that clear, sorry.
I was home alone tonight for most of the night, at least. The old bitch downstairs came up at 6, 8, 9, and 10 she checked on me.
That conversation transpired at about 9:40. When the old woman came up at 10, I guess she thought I was asleep (in my room, lights off, under covers listening to Bob Marley as I cry) and she didn't come back.
My mom went ballistic on me after that though, about...10:10 she calls and I didn't pick up. So she leaves the message,
"Pick up the phone RIGHT NOW, or I'm calling the cops and having them come over there!"
I pick up, "What?!"
"Your brother is coming so unlock the fucking door!"
"Whatever." and I hung up on her again
My brother calls and he's like, "What's goin' on? Mom said you're gonna do somethin' stupid like hurt yourself."
I explain the situation out to him and everything, he's sympathetic, actually. He's somewhat against smoking pot, but he was also one of the people that realized how happy I'd become. So, he asks if there is any way I can get any reefer (his word) tonight because he knows that if I don't get some, I'm probably gonna end up killing myself or something. He is like, well, just try and call some people, if not, go into mom's room and take a Zoloft.
Little did he know that at about.....6:30 I took 8 of them (50 MG). And they worked until about 9 when I was back to be real tired and sluggish.
Then I'm sittin' here listening to Lonesome Town and I get depressed like no fucking other, worse than I ever have been in my life. As I said, I was crying and I started thinking about what Brenda had actually done to me. All that, that's when she called and I said all that to her.
I'm glad I said it though, because at about midnight she called back and was real calm and quiet and asked if I had taken any of the Zoloft, I said "Yeah, about 3." I doubt she counts them, but if she asks why 8 are missing, I'll say I've been taking one a day since Sunday, and they've been merely "getting me through." Not very happy, but not wanting to kill myself. Took 3 tonight so I could actually be happy and smile again.
I don't know.....maybe she might actually lighten up, talk to the prob officer for me.
I can dream......
uhh, i really dont think its a good idea to take eight zoloft. That shit only works (if it works at all) if you take normal doses for like at least a week. Its not a recreational drug by any means, and taking 8 at a time isn't gonna make it one.
i wish i was there with you to help you get though all this i know its tough but 8 months and you can ride by her house with your ass sticking out of the car window with brenda on both cheeks in red magic marker ;) pot is a magical thing but i find myself getting depressed on it lately,it has given my happyness if onl for a short time.i love all my new freinds but even with the help of reefer i find that im sliping back into the person i used to be...the one i truely hate.to make matters worse the girl i've liked since 7th grade is going out with my best freind and even weed cant erase the pain.but the moral of the story is dont use a drug as a crutch to get though life day to day,i did and im becomeing more miserable than i ever was before.i love my ganja but i HAVE to give it up for a while atleast untill i am free of the smoke clouding my mind and it because i was dependant on it maybe it will be a good thing for you to take a break.and do not feel ashamed for crying ive cried myself to sleep many a time too.i would go absolutly bonker if my dad took my books away i feel bad for you not being able to turn those slowly yellowing pages.if you need someone to talk to,leagal advise,or just a freind drop me a line [email protected]
It's been over a week since I've smoked. When I smoked, I would take breaks every couple of months to just get my head straight, get some matters solved, lower my tolerance, etc etc. When it was willingly done, I loved taking breaks. I loved being completely sober and looking around and still seeing that the world is an awesome place. Then I loved getting together with all of my friends after a two or three week break, and then all of us sharing a blunt and some bowls. Awesome stuff.
But, this break is different. It's one that I don't feel is necessary, and it's certainly not willingly done. So, the break is a different one. It's filled with all this depression and sadness because I know that not only can I not smoke for the next 8 or so months, but I'm also not allowed to see any of my friends outside of school. I think...if I could still hang out with my friends, the smoking part wouldn't be so bad. At least then I could be around other people and have fun just by them being there. I went from being anti-social to being almost fully gregarious.
So, it's not that I'm dependent, it's just the thoughts and memories I have of all the "good times" of hanging out with my friends and tokin' a bowl or a couple joints, etc etc, ya know? Really hard to get passed the fact that I also can't go to prom now with the girl I have liked for a long time. I finally asked her to prom, and she said yeah. Now, I'm not allowed to go.
If I could just keep my personal life, I wouldn't mind not smoking as much as I mind it now.
Edit: Also, I'm never doing Zoloft ever again. Even if a doctor were to try and put me on it, I wouldn't take it. It's really fucking with my body. My legs and muscles are jittery and they can hardly be used. My teeth keep chattering nonstop when they're not clamped tight, my pupils are huge as crap and I can't focus on one object without my eyes going nutso facto and the world "jumping" in my vision. I can't sit still for shit, and I'm completely and totally indifferent. "I need to take a shower. But I dont' want to take a shower. Well, I want to, I just don't WANT to." "I need to eat something, I'm starved. But...I don't want to eat. Everything seems gross. Well, I want to eat, I just don't want to it." ETC ETC Not to mention the fact that I have severe insomnia and body temp changes. I've been up since 2 pm yesterday and I feel as if I woke up 2 hours ago. My head is also starting to kill me.....
It blows. I'm hoping this shit stops within the next couple days. I don't think I'm ever going to do another pill "recreationally" for the rest of my life.
Something.....Something strange just happened. Brenda had been wanting to talk to me, and I kept telling her no. Well, last night I talked to her on the phone for a second (that conversation).
This morning she wanted to talk, and I said no, I don't want to. Finally, I gave in, I talked to her.
I told her that weed is just a natural balancer for me. Instead of taking pills or synthetic man made stuff to try to solve my problems, I'd rather smoke weed that's from the earth, and from God. When I smoke, or when I know I CAN smoke, don't even have to be stoned, I realize that the world is worth so much to me. That life's too short to be sad and depressed and angry all the time. She said I have to learn to feel that without weed. I said I know, but that's not going to happen NOW. Maybe in the future, but not now. I told her I'm still going to smoke, and that as long as I'm home or in A home, not out driving or trying to be stupid, I should have the right to.
I also told her that I think it's ridiculous they're pressing Battery charges against me, and she actually agreed. She's going to call the prob officer on Monday to talk about that, then she wants to hear what the judge has to say about the possession charges. She might even try to get me off (she knows the judge too, =/ ) with a more lenient punishment.
She is going to allow me to smoke but she doesn't want to know about it. I can leave my stuff out, I don't have to hide it, but she doesn't want me to say, "Hey, I smoked last night." Likewise, she isn't going to answer any questions. I also said I think I owed it to her to try harder in school, so I'm going to. She said that would be great.
So, after this long, "arduous" journey, I think I may have finally found my destination. Before in our family, we had always screamed at each other, always unable to talk. We finally talk to each other, the first time in 17 years, and it almost all works out OKAY.
I just wanted to thank you guys so much. But, I would've given up on life two weeks ago had it not been for you guys. I actually didn't think this topic would be successful at all.
Anyway, thank you guys so much. I'll keep you updated when we hear from the judge etc etc.
Gothen, hope you come out without too much trouble... i just don't get it.. will america ever get it? Canabis users are no criminals... but hey, you all know that.
Good luck and greetings.
glad things working out for ya
just hang in there and try
do ya best and ya parents will see your effort
and as a parent i know i do not expect superhuman kids,we just wait for the next event hoping its not to bad,knowing we are clueless to your lifestyle away from home ect,
they will know if your trying or acting like it so really really try
and thank her bro
a "thanks mom for trying to meet me halfway" will go a long way
peace
i totally agree w nowhereman, Gothen, sounds like shes coming around, time for peace i had a feeling she would. im sure she feels awful. try to be nice and itll all work out.
wow dude........ ohh give me a sec i just read the whole thread and i need to think a bit.oh im so speechless at the moment i cant find words... this is probably the saddest and most incredible story i have ever heard in my whole life... i wish i could have read this before so i could have helped you out in those most depserate times...
your mom is almost exacly like mine. my mom is at times so pitch black hearted and so damn evil you just wish you could drive a stake through every inch her body. I'm 1000000% positive that man if my mom would mind me taking a smoke here and there, id be exacly in the same situation as you, shes so overprotective and so controlative, and i understood your story with heart-shaterring progress...( lukely ive talked to her about this, mind you it took me 5 months to convince her that im responsible, Im not joking) Just to take the bus now opens me so much more freedom
dude, that really fucking sucks man, i wish i could be there with you, helpin you out. the impact that that musta had that day that u smoked with your friend on her mind must have been so intense, so great, so enourmously overpowering to her little brain that she just fucking snapped man. it's really sad that it happens to some people that they snap and just rage and rage and rage for days, weeks, and months at a time because they just cant control it.
what your mom did really sucks man, callin the cops on you, god, and being charged too... the horror. As for not seeing your friends, thats gotta fucking suck even more man, i just cant believe it i was so speechless when i read it all.
man, sometimes im so fucken depressed too... (i could just imagine being in your flesh for a fraction of a second, and wonder what the fuck am i going to do in life at that point) I'm often so depressed of school, grades and stuff, friends aswell... but i have to tell you, without knowing anything at all, weed actually changed my life without me knowing it. I didn't realise it at first UNTIL now, weed has given me a lot of things, and all so far good.
i just realised, if it wasn't for weed, i woudn't have made new friends. I can't believe it, seriously, now that i think about it, i've made so many friends with weed.
i was so rejected in elementary school, just getting into high school was a change in my life. If you were to hear some of my stories when i was a little kid, i was being harrassed every day of my life, every day, class, minute, and second in school just was a total pain in my heart. i cant believe that im still living, i was so rejected for my peer group back then i coudnt believe it. As hard as i tried making friends with people, things seemed just to not add up. At times i was alone in a corner of school crying... crying... alone, some kids managed to find some little friendliness in their hearts to talk to me, and soon became people i often talked to, just to get out of my own misery. It feels so much better when you have something to say, and u just say it to your friends, and it really shares the load, because they can understand your suffering ( much like talking to people on this site)
Moments in distress like these really call for help. I'm glad you hung on to life as you did, i know it must have been incredibly hard, and the thought of suicide must have throbbled in your mind for much time. You took things well dude, and i think the people on this forum are very helpfull, and we really care dude, even if you are some guy i might never meet, i would try to help anyone that would be in these kinds of situations, anywhere, anytime.
You should see sometimes what my mom does guys, she would rage days to days, take away my screen and keybord, take my mouse away for days at a time because she would just be pissed. Sometimes, i really wish i could hit her with the back of a shotgun and shut her up, too bad in canada. She once took my tv, my comp, and most of my things away for a week, shes really mentally unbalanced...
You should always keep your stuff hidden dude, living with your parents that don't know that u are taking weed isnt a good thing, since you dont know if they are against it or not, ( xcept if you have talked about drugs with them before and they have given their opinion to you) Having flasks, seeds, stems, and weed, bongs, pipes everywhere around your room was pretty careless i might add, as for the booze, you should have kept all of it well hidden. ( lol sucker cops, it was nice that those pigs didn't search your room for further evidence, or you would have been even more boned) I keep all my stash and small things in a little bag that i have stored in my drawer. I only have my bong out on my table, because i bought it with my mom, and she know i dont smoke much, but of course i lie, if id be telling her im smoking sometimes, she would act up and explode. Fortunately for me, i had been taking psychologist therapies with her and my father( my parents are divorced, my father lives in another house) because of family problems. So she is cooled down, and she is very annoying ( She's coming every 30 minutes im my room just to check if im doing my homework fortunately i have my homework on my table saying that im doing it and that im talking to my friends on msn or something.)
Gothen, just hang in there buddy, try to get a job man your 17 you should be able to get some income, save as much as money as you can, safe for taking a few tokes here and there with your friends to relax. I would suggest you to go to your friends house after school and stay with some friends that dont mind. she can't possibly do things any worse that they are, so just do whaveter you want at this time with the time being, you can leave your house at any time you want, she cant stop you? oh and by the way, wheres your dad in this story???????????????????????????
Hang on man, 8 months of fun times in school with your friends flashes by, 8 months of torture is very long. just save your money as best as you can, hide your stash, and if ever you need help man, just ask away, dont feel ashamed to talk of your problems here man, we are here for you, anytime. especially get a job and save as much as money as you can so you can have some good handy money from if you want to move out when your probation is done, be carefull dude, dont get caught again, you dont want more crap.
Cheers man, try to enjoy life how it comes and goes
Total
what a great letter ! cheers to you TP!!
Hey i read from bigining to end and i feel sad for you and what you bin throw but i will half to agree with totalpain get a job save you money if your mom gose psycho on you agen for somthing you culde jest move out with the money you saved up. :cool:
i thought my situation was bad. damn. i wanna know what happens.
hahaha cops are dumber than rocks dude :D i had a gram of bud and a FAT glass pipe in my pocket when i got searched...never found it hahaha i love that shit xD
the fact that your 17 is good ;) fuck up when your underage, cuz once you turn 18 usually as long as your lawful matters are delt with your record is sealed, thats what they did for me and i got charged with felony posession of methamphetamine with intent to distribute, AND intent to manufacture and its all sealed, only ppl who can read that is the military :p
I cant believe your mom did that, thats sickening :mad: my moms a fuckin lawyer and she didnt do nuthin but throw it away the first few times she found it, if you plan on moving out u should give her a big chunk of ur mind right before u leave haha "mom, i love you, but fuck you!!!" hahaha
youll probly go on deathrow have to escape a prison run to bolivia change ya name to pable gaurez
wow that is quite the story, im sorry man i hope everything works out, but if ur still worried about fines and shit u can go to www.NORML.com and they will at least give u all the fines and stuff for ur state at least on weed, im not sure if they do alcohol or anything else but that might at least let u know how much ur gonna have to pay cuz it doesnt sound liek ur moms gonna help, on that whole battery thing tho i would try to work with the judges niece and get to her to convince him that u did no such thing cuz that might get u into more trouble, anyways i offer my condolences and i hope everything works out for ya
oops i hadnt gotten all the way to the end of the thread and i wanted to help u out it sounds like its workin out for ya, glad to see it
Wow, i just read this and am blown away in the resemblance of your family and mine..i wish i had been a member when this was going on so that we coulda talked there it, cuzz im sure we would have MANY similar cases that we coulda see different viewpoints on..
My problem is that now that i have been on my own for almost 10 years the problems i had in my family have came back to bite me in the ass when i need to be the "adult" im have trouble.
I reecently(last 2.5-3yrs) have found the miracle the cannabis plant holds deep within it, and notice that it helps me threw the days..
Good luck to you..
Gothen, I read your whole story that really sucks, glad to see things are working out. I went though hell as a child too, but it wasn't for drugs, i was alienated in school, kids picked fights i fought back got in trouble with the teachers, got restrained, kicked outa school put in state programs, juvy, 2 hospitals and finally im living on my own lol. A coworker's sister introduced me to weed when i was 19, now 23 this december. Weed is a gift from god, never let anyone take that away. Hopefully some day our government will pick their heads up outa the sand and fix the fuck ups they have made. Peace~
Toker4LifeVT
Tell your mom to go buy a fucking dildo for christs sake.
Gothen man my mom is the EXACT same way. She is a religous conservative bible thumping bitch that has never smelled marijuana in her life and has fallen for the government bullshit about it. She almost called the cops on me when she came home and the house smelled like smoke. She threatened to have me arrested. :( I know exactly what you is going through.
My dad gave my first glass bong to the cops, Now he helps me with my plants. Haha
this may have been mentioned, but IMHO you're going the wrong way here, and this sounds like a really lousy idea. you found a house and had a party and can't remember which one it is? c'mon.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gothen
i think you're getting scared, and i understand, but chill; stick with your "found the beer in the woods" or "found it" anywhere where someone wouldn't be to blame for you getting a handle on it. don't go bringing in some dude to say he left it at your house. it seems you're grasping for believable stories to tell them; and i think you'll find yourself digging yourself deeper more than anything. "found in the woods" is good enough.
don't go wrapping yourself or anyone else up into some convoluted story that could do more harm than good
btw: your mother charged you with ASSAULT????????? holy ........... that's unreal beyond belief. up to that point i was a bit mixed up, but man, that's just terrible, really terrible.
i'm so sorry. just a note to folks in this thread: just remember, he's 17, and this is his mother. she may be doing foolish, hurtful, and damaging things, but she's still his mom. OP, i'm really sorry this is happening to you, but if you can manage it, don't hate her. it won't help you. perhaps by your forgiveness of her you can show her your maturity. it may very well be the best thing for you to get out of that situation asap, and that doesn't seem like long. i tell ya man, this is hard stuff you're going through; things will get better for you, they will. i think you're handling this all pretty well. good luck, try to avoid the hate, it just drags you down.
think of it this way: you're getting a jumpstart on adulthood and maturity that folks who get babied forever never get. sooner or later we all are on our own and struggling, you'll have a leg up on most of the others :) peace bro
this fellows legal phrasing is going to get him in trouble someday ;) uh, yeah, that would actually be pretty illegal there bud; i think you meant for a juvy "stealing" their booze without their knowing? ok, but for crying out loud don't say that, don't say you stole it.Quote:
Originally Posted by NowhereMan
cop: where'd the booze come from
you: found it in the woods
cop: where?
you: over thereabouts
................... :)
nobody gave it to you, nobody stole anything, no adult is to blame
i'm sure you're past this stage (not through with the thread), but just some general advice for anyone
folks, when in doubt, say NOTHING, and get a lawyer, and they come free in our wonderful country ;)
well man, that does indeed suck, and i am sorry to hear about all of that.
i totally understand all those depressing emotions you experianced, i was the exact same way.
My mom is not nearly as strict as your mom, thank god, so i never had it nearly as bad as you did.
I recently got arrested for paraphernalia, i got caught by my school security and i have to apear in court May 21st, as of now my mom doesnt want me to come home so i am at the very very begining of a similar situation that you were in, its going to be very difficult for me as well, but i just hope i can see the beauty in all of this and i will make it through.
im 16 with pretty poor grades and this is my first offense, think im going to have drug testing as well???
Anyway, good luck man dont give up, when this is all over and you are puffin again, aww man :thumbsup: :D
heres what probably gona happen to you due to ur first offense...youre gona get a fine for the weed, atleast 40 hours community service, drug classes n youre probably gona get tested a few times a month, AA classes since they found alcohol, and maybe a years probation.....
i hate it when you get caught smoking and parents and cops look at you as some kind of criminal. I mean its not like we created the plant, it grows out of the earth! just cause the US law says its a terrible deadly gateway drug doesnt mean it is....:thumbsup: :stoned: cops are such a buzzkill!!!
hey that sucks, good luck to you though