Haha aww I didn't mean to!
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Haha aww I didn't mean to!
PB, your a heart breaker. I'm happy you escaped.
Good luck with his mother in the future. :thumbsup:
Oh geeze, he keeps calling me, crying... I hope he doesn't do anything to hurt himself... Over me? It's not worth it!
told you it was gonna be 10x worse.... did you honestly expect him to be like "oh.... ok... i understand" and let that be the end of it? :jointsmile:
Your going to have fun these next couple of days.
Firstly, don't worry about him killing himself. If he is that unstable, it will happen eventually.
Secondly, don't take him back out of fear of him killing himself. I made that mistake once... Hopefully your smarter than I am. :)
More than likely, he will cry for a few days and than move on.
You weren't lying when you said he was needy, were you? I'm not insensitive, but for some reason I'm attracted to very unstable girls and have been in your situation (as best as I can tell) several times.
Unfortunate, but you gotta take care of #1. It's one of those shitty feelings that we ALL have to go through atleast once in life. Keep ya head up and know that you're doing the right thing by pleasently saying goodbye. I've always found that a little time in between relationships is a good thing. Gives you time to 'remember' the things YOU want and need.
Good job and good luck:thumbsup:
I didn't think he was going to be like "Oh okay I understand", SKP, but I don't like seeing people cry, it kind of gnaws at me. I'm not going to take him back out of pity... Then I'd realize my mistake and end it again, and he'd be twice as miserable.
His brother's there though, so he should be okay I think.
Pb....remember me? :D Thanks for the memories....then hang up. I am not kidding...if he continues to call don't answer. Talking to this young man in ANY way will feed his fantasy that if he is pathetic enough he'll be able to control your emotional strings. STAY AWAY FROM HIM COMPLETELY. Good luck and be strong.....you are NOT responsible for this young man and his issues. DO NOT buy into it.
Weedhound's exactly right. If you're taking his calls, PB, you're reinforcing the behavior he's exhibiting and the actions he's taking. It's fine for him to cry because those are his feelings and only he can control his feelings and the expression of them, but don't reward his manipulative behavior by allowing him access to you. He needs to handle those feelings on his own and grieve without dragging you into it. Also, you don't need to be taking on any guilt or believing you've caused him to express his feelings in that way.
Hey Purple B, from reading this I would say you deffinatly did the right thing and couldn't have really done it in a better way. The way you feel only shows that you care about the dude, but if you don't want to be with him, it's as simple as that, you don't want to be with him.
Good luck @ work with his ma, I hope shes not a total bitch!
haha. can we say, "awkward." good luck!.Quote:
Originally Posted by WeedyBoyWonder
I think, Stage 1 has something to do with his mother's nipples. This is clearly Stage 2.Quote:
Originally Posted by IThinkIamFeelingit
Could this be what's beyond Stage 2?Quote:
Originally Posted by Weedhound
PurpleBanana, you are going to hurt his feelings, or, feel like shit for not hurting his feelings. Just don't look into his eyes, anymore. That's, probably, how you got yourself into this mess.
Since, you already hurt his feelings, why not drive them into the ground? It makes it so much easier on him. It'd be even worse if his mother has to tell him to leave you alone.
I'm not so sure about it being rare. Plenty of guys have cried because they have lost someone they love. We aren't heartless sex machines lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by birdgirl73
Sometimes, no matter how 'hard' a man is, his emotions can still overwhelm him.
I really wanted to read the full thread before i said something, but this made me laugh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple Banana
its goign to be so missarable to get broken up with during a car ride, then have to save face and tough out clingly little emotions until you home.
you're going to make him cry:hippy:
Ah being single is beautiful. I love it. I don't miss the drama and stress of relationships at all. :hippy::rasta::rastasmoke::pimp::stoned::D
Amen to that!Quote:
Originally Posted by greatmuta
And i HAVE a girlfriend, haha...
I stopped taking calls from him after the first one. I let him go, and he texted me, but I didn't respond. Thanks for all the support, everyone.
I wonder if he told her yet? She just got online and hasn't IMed me. But I'm ready to stand my ground against her, I did what I felt was right. I felt obligated to like him back when she set us up, and that was my mistake, but now it's over and done with, and I woke up this morning SO much happier.
I'm recently singled too PB..Do I have a chance?
Now, with THAT avatar picture, of course you do. As long as Mister Upper-Middle Class Business Man is a pot smoker as well. At first I thought it was Bob Saget...
I saw him live a year or two ago, him and George Carlin are freakin' GODS.
Can anyone say h-a-r-a-s-s-m-e-n-t?Quote:
Originally Posted by IThinkIamFeelingit
PB, just read through the thread, and like most, I agree, you did the right thing. I don't think that your delivery was bad, and you're dealing with the after shocks pretty well - not responding to his cries. That's normal, some people who get too attached have a hard time letting go. From the sounds of his situation as you've described it, he sounds like he's going to continue to be clingy.
I'm not sure how stable he is - it is normal to worry about someone getting too depressed and doing something drastic, such as suicide, but it doesn't usually get to that. However, if it were me - I'd prefer someone telling me exactly what didn't mesh with the relationship. Looking back on my own life (I'm 40 now and happily married), the one thing I would have appreciated knowing over the years was - what didn't work.
Sometimes we trip up and get too clingy; or we're not attentive enough; or are too unmotivated to find our paths in life. Between 18-30, I think a lot of people are just trying to find that comfortable balance. A lot of people, as he sounds like - still being a virgin, aren't familar with how to control their emotions just yet. Then, you through in some hormones, and you think any woman that can make you feel the way you do during sex, must be someone you should 'love'. Then you realize things like living with someone and sharing interests are whole other games.
Unless his mother is out of touch with her own maturing, I can't see how she would be anything but understanding about the whole thing. These things happen. At 20 (presumming you're both about that age) you have so many more people to date, to find out about what you want. From some of your comments, you seem to at least know you want someone ready to look ahead to the next phase of their life - adulthood. She will understandably be protective of her son, but hopefully she's realistic.
He'll get over it. What you leave him with, will determine whether he learns from it, and improves on the next one. If you truly care for him, I would think that you want to help him learn. Ok, so it didn't work with you two, but if you want him to be happy - this is a good way to help that happen.
Now, with you - three people with issues (2 fixer upppers, and this clingy one) - you have to question yourself - do you have a magnet for needy/clingy people? I did for a while. You believe you can fix them, or help them. You can't - people can only fix themselves, based on their mistakes.
Purple Im behind you 100% on your move to break up with him. He will be find so dont worry about him, and you will be good too :) at least you broke up with him and didnt chicken out, breaking up takes guts and you have them. Much love.
Yeah, I'm done with fixer-uppers... FOREVER. I need a man, not a boy. I just feel much better about how well I did it, and that I didn't keep putting it off. SUCH a relief for me now, now I can enjoy my week.
Good for you Pb.....you say you made an error....we ALLLLLLLL do.....and I agree with what someone said here (beachguy?) that you can rip the bandaid off fast (my method) or do it nice and slow and agonizingly and make everyone MORE unhappy for longer. That's just my thought though.
I'm afraid I disagree with Binger about several things.....something about his mom should understand.....HA...he's pretty perfect in mommy's eyes (despite her comments) and I think you can pretty much write her off in support.......her son's really a great guy, no matter what, remember? He certainly didn't become the person he is all by himself.
The other thing I personally disagree with is telling people "why" the relationship doesn't work. Unless you are moving accross the country or something tangible there's really only one reason you don't want to have a relationship with someone.....you aren't attracted to them. And I don't care how much perfume you put on a pig they know that's exactly what you are saying. Why would that hurt less than "Thanks for the memories but the timing ain't right" ? In my opinion, it doesn't. It hurts more. :wtf:
And ps.....I would be AMAZED if she didn't "already know" ;)
Well, he certainly didn't tell her he walked 5 hours from his house to mine and back to deliver flowers...
You don't think so.....how about BEFORE...hmmmm?? You asked that very question yourself. :D
You have done the right thing here....the right thing and the easy thing are not always the same imo... :thumbsup: :)
hey PB how about a vicking? Iam a good hunter
another one bites the dust.
Do you have any chick friends that are, well, a bit promiscuous? Sex really helps men get over relationships, and if he's 20 and a virgin he's not going to be getting that anytime soon on his own, so if you can find someone to give him a night of sex to clear his mind that might help, but of course don't let it be a close friend of yours and make sure they don't date him, but if they are a good skank they will already know that ;) Sounds dirty, but seriously sex is the best way to get over a woman, maybe you can even hire a call girl to go check up on him for a night.Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple Banana
Other than that I'd say you are doing everything right, cutting off all your connections with him is good, if you try to be his friend or keep talking to him that won't help him get over you at all, so cutting it off completely is best for him...but I still think the call girl idea is a good one, at least it'll get him to stop calling and texting you.
Oh and by the way PB, what's your A/S/L? :giggity:
yea good idea, buy him a hooker..................um
that's a fuckin trip, maybe 1 hour, but 5 HOURS that's fucked, i wouldnt even walk 20 min to deliver flowers, i'll get them shits delivered, fuck all that lol
my thoughts exactlyQuote:
Originally Posted by spliffstar22
only as a last resort of course, I don't actually recommend she spend money on him, that's why I said she should find a slutty friend to do it for free, but if she can't find that maybe go the professional route. Beats having to change your phone number and/or jobs right ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by jdmarcus59
DAMNIT, well, I already had a fling with the hooker near my house. I'll let you know next time, JD!
EDIT: I wokred with his mom last night... It didn't go so well. She did the whole 'guilt-trip' thing, and I tried as best I could to ignore her. I told her I'm not changing my mind, I did what I thought was the best idea at the time, and it wasn't HER relationship.
Deleted need to read whole thread before i post ima dumbassQuote:
Originally Posted by Purple Banana