for anyone following my threads tonight

I was dianosed as depressed, and it probalby feels like your life cant get any lower or worse, it just seems impossible to do anything or want to do anything because you feel trapped. Just trapped unable to do anything or want to do anything, except want to take your own life.
Id admit I tried to take my life several times but the tears in my moms eyes, I couldnt forget. Till this day, everytime I even think of wanting to kill myself, I think of my moms tears, it stops me.
You have a wife and a child, dont kill yourself, at least try for them, they are worth the effort arent they?

i hope you got some help last night...and remember you are a dad and your son loves you

i slit my wrist once, doctor says i was exteamly lucky to not of cut the main arteriers, i didnt really need to be TOLD that cuz i could see all my main arteriers right in front of me behind all the blood

my advice would be to seek advice from people that arnt on the internet.. maybe you should talk to your wife about w.e this problems about, but its gotta be a pretty big problem to make a thread like this

Quote:

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Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho

well, after a nice long chat with my wife (which never happens) and 3 of the anti-depressants i'm feeling alot more collected and stable.... i know i have two good reasons, which is why i dropped the razor after only two slices on my uppper fore-arm, and told my wife to take it before i do something stupid and leave my son without a father...

i'm also guessing alot of you don't understand depression...

here you go: a poem i wrote awhile ago..

Suffering and somthering in this cloud
It's depression in the form of a shroud
It covers me up and I just can't take it
Not another trip I just won't be able to make it
I'll never survive another one of these
I don't care what everyone else sees
It's not so easy to just be free
And I'm not just make a scene
Theres nothing to be done to intervene
I don't intend to set of this chain of events
But to you none of this makes any sense
Because youve never experienced any of this
It's all fake is what you constantly insist
Try for once living my life as I do
Then you'll see why I am am dreaming,
Dreaming of the knife instead of you
Slashing my wirsts and never being missed

depression consumes you, it fucks with your thought process and you are unable to think logically... atleast for the most part... i don't want this, but i'm stuck with it i guess.. i try to make the best of my life and do what's right.. but you know, somtimes it becomes too much to handle... which leads to shit like 'tonight' i know lately i'm probably seeming like an attention seeking emo... but i'm honestly not trying to be, i consider you guys friends, and when i get 'down' i come here to get help/confidence/and logic. so i'm not seeking attention, i'm seeking people's help/guidance i'd consider friends...

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Your absolutely right depression does consume and over powers you! I've dealt throughout my life an on going battle with depression, I'm finally at a point where it only takes control at the odd time, but when it does i feel like I loose a bit of myself everytime.

Your poem is very powerful, and insightful! Keep writing your thoughts, Writting poems is the only thing at times that kept my sanity in place when i was younger. I can be utterly and completly honest when I write my poetry howvere dark and depressing some of my poems may be, but they are outlets of my pain, and suffering.

I tried to find a poem I wrote on depression, but all I could find is this poem:

I hear his Footsteps as he apraches from behind
Whispering painful memories upon my Backside
I Shiver and tremble for I fear and know him well
All too well in the years past
At times he was my Only companion and a dreadful one at that
His Cold hand grabs my shoulder and turns me about
He looks at me with those dark cold eyes
The cold malice of his essence sinks deep into my heart
He Takes control of my Mind and body again
I wish to escape his precence to escape his grasp
His grip is strong but I am stronger
Depression will not allways take Control
One day I will be free from his hold on me
Until that day I shall suffer

The other poem I wrote was a bit better, but I can't find it oddly enough, and sad too cause it was my favorite poem :(

But I guess what i'm tryin to say Slip, is in this world there are many people who suffer from depression too. I trully hope one day you will be able to take hold of your depression, and be released from its dreadful grip! Until then hanging in there!

hope you feel better soon mate

Well you've nearly 9k posts, so thats good in my book. I hope things get better for you man.

Hey there Slipknot, are you feeling any better today? I wanted to tell you that you are definitely not alone. Like many other posters here, I too suffer from depression and anxiety. About 3 months ago, it got to the point where I knew I wasn't going to get better on my own, so I sought the help of a good psychiatrist. She prescribed me Zoloft, and after being on it for 3 months, I feel 100% better. I have motivation now, more patience, I'm less SHITTY. I'm not saying meds are for everyone, but it worked for me, and I look at it as a tool. It doesn't have to be for forever. I wanted to be a better wife and mother, and it has helped me do that. I hope things get better for you, we're here for you!

Last night i was talkin to my gf on the phone, and i just broke down and cried. I think it was cuz i've been in trouble with weed and the parents a lot lately, and i haven't been able to see her as much as i'd like to. And i love her a lot, and i guess it was just building all up inside of me, and i just had to let it goo..sometimes crying can be good for you.

I hope you find yourself in good spirits today... Try hanging up the booze bro,,,it intensifies your dilema... Do your best to break the pattern,,,your childs future depends on it,,,a child learns most of their behavioral pattern from ages 0 to 5...

I Pray to God he helps you to feel good about yourself... I am no stranger to depression and it is misunderstood by people who don't feel it because it is pretty unexplainable...


From the heart bro...
Skink

I hope you're feeling better today, too, Slipknot. I wasn't online last night and didn't see your threads till today. So sorry you had a rough night. They happen. I have 'em too. I'm pretty well convinced that dark winter days don't help, either. Many hugs to you, my sweet friend. Much love and peace to you.