Parents who grow

I REALLY wish we could move to someplace where this wasn't such an issue, but my husband has his own business, so that's not practical at this point in our lives. We could possibly do New Hampshire, but Vermont would take us too far away from his client base.
We fortunately have already had the complete homestudy and are approved :) by the state (I wasn't growing anything then) and we will have a few post placement meetings next year, but our social worker is wonderful -we have still to be approved by the govt and be fingerprinted, but once that is done, it is an independant adoption...no other agency is involved... and by that time I hope to have the harvest complete for the time being. I only plan to grow a few plants at a time. It's just for me and dear husband.
I intend to take a very low key approach- I make tea out of chamomile that I grow in my garden, after all. It is medicine to me- I could survive without it, but there are many people who can't, and that seriously pisses me off that they can't...! Another time.

I will probably be mulling this over a lot and really appreciate everyone's candid advice.

Stinky, after next Tues school will be out, and I'd love to hang (I'm not dry anymore so I feel like socializing!) Let me know how to reach you or ask kindprincess for my contact info.

Off to work, hi ho hi ho

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Originally Posted by partyguy420

see... as much as i in joy smoking... and as much as i think smoking a joint after a hard day of work... or sitting in the bar with a few buddies passing around a joint... i do not agree with sneaking off to smoke a joint, and then coming out and playing with you kids... if you went and asked my dad one of the to tell you some of the memories about me and him... he will either not be able to rember one... or he will tell you one, that everyone in my family talks about... theres not one memory, that he has of just me and him, that no one else knows...and also... he has had to ask me for the past 3 or 4 years when my birth day was...(im his first born child... by 2 years there should be at least one good memory of us... and he should be able to rember what day i was born because... i know it was my moms happiest day of her life... and i think it was one of his happiest days for him self to)

anyways... to the girl who planes to adopt a child...well... my mom had a few mis-cariges before i was born, and was planing on just adopoting, and then she relised that she couldnt do that because the state(i think the welfare office) has to do random home viseits so im not sure if growing right away is going to be such a great idea... and thats the whole reason why my parents didnt ever adopt a child....

just my 2 cents:twocents:

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Thanks honey, and you are absolutely right about the memories- my mom was drunk for my childhood. But I don't really smoke like that- I never smoke so much that I can' t remember things- I just have a few hits and get a light buzz. People react differently to different drugs, you know. I cannot drink at all anymore because I drank the same way my mom did but many people can easily have one glass of wine and feel fine and not need more. I believe it is the same way with weed. I don't ever get really wrecked.

I am the father of two wonderful children - 5 and 9 years of age. They are the best thing in my life. I have utilized MJ for 17 years for its recreation qualities and medicinal (A.D.D.). I find the two worlds conflict at times, mainly because of the evil prohibition and related issues, but for the most part, my family life and my personal choice co-exist in harmony. I do not partake in front of them. I do not leave stuff around for anybody to see. I do not want them partaking while growing. I do not think that will really happen, but for example - my wife doesn't and never has tried MJ. I do not let it run my life like I see tobacco and alcohol do to people. I do let my kids run my life. I do spend a lot of time with my kids. I do respect them I do live a simple and productive life and teach them to do the same - finding happiness and love are some of our goals. I do have some guilt over this issue and will discuss all this with them and keep it real and honest, but only when they are ready. I do want what is best for me and my family. I do the right things. I do grow and it is not accessible for my kids at this time (it would involve hauling a ladder to the attic access). I do plan on installing a lock on that door soon. I do love my children. I do what is best for them.

I believe you will too!

I have a friend who adopted a young girl from Khazikstan. Her and her partner are great parents and both ladies love to burn. They have had no issues with agencies the like.

Take care.
Peace and love.

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Originally Posted by liberiamom

Thanks honey, and you are absolutely right about the memories- my mom was drunk for my childhood. But I don't really smoke like that- I never smoke so much that I can' t remember things- I just have a few hits and get a light buzz. People react differently to different drugs, you know. I cannot drink at all anymore because I drank the same way my mom did but many people can easily have one glass of wine and feel fine and not need more. I believe it is the same way with weed. I don't ever get really wrecked.

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as long as your not getting so stonded... that you laff your ass off when they fall off the bed and crach their foreheads open... i think you should be fine....+

my mom was a stoner.... but we still have the good times... and bad times we have shared....

you know... as much as that first post i wrote made me sound anti marijuana.... i love weed... but i think that if your so stoned that your kid cracks his forehead open.... and you just stand their and laff... and then you r kid has to have a few stiches put in is head... then im anti marijuana...

I just want to add...
It is all about the children - truly. I also grew up with alcoholic people and partying and abuse. I know the pain that goes along with that lifestyle. I know the suffering my mother went through during her journey as a single mother and I lived it with her. Would there be less suffering in adult life if all children were given all that they deserve in love, understanding, care, time, compassion? ...perhaps.
I think everybody out there with the responsibility of parenthood needs to give all they can for the children. Our children deserve the innocent nature they were given, and who are we to take that away!
I worry about all kids and the cruel world that they must grow up in. We owe it to them to give them a safe and sane life.
Be careful with grows and the like y'all! Uncle Sam wants to get you for child endangerment. And that might just be well deserved in some cases.
Take care.
My $4.20 worth.

I think once we bring the kids home from Africa, there will be bigger fish to fry than the "partaking,", since they won't see that. I am more concerned about their adjustment in terms of post-traumatic stress, RAD, etc. I expect they may need to work with a therapist to sort things out. Some of these kids watched their parents get gunned down in the war, and have been living in first a refugee camp where they ran around mostly undressed and unsupervised, not to mention hungry! Then they have spent the past year in a 3 bedroom house with 50+ other kids, sleeping on the floor on sheets and living on rice. I intend to spend most of my time showering them with love and attention- for once it won't be all about little me, and that is something I really look forward to. If it ever came down to a choice between smoking or being a mom, I would certainly give up smoking- I went for many years without it, so that's not out of the realm of possibility. But I would prefer to make it a private activity between my husband and I behind closed doors-
or maybe in the hot tub after the little ones go to bed....;)

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Originally Posted by liberiamom

But I would prefer to make it a private activity ........ maybe in the hot tub after the little ones go to bed....;)

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Good point! Grownup time! Boring grownup things like paying bills and doing taxes!!!! Now if only all you had to worry about was them going to school and bragging 'hey, my Mom GRADES PAPERS IN HER ATTIC!!!!'

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Originally Posted by liberiamom

I am more concerned about their adjustment in terms of post-traumatic stress, RAD, etc. I expect they may need to work with a therapist to sort things out. Some of these kids watched their parents get gunned down in the war, and have been living in first a refugee camp where they ran around mostly undressed and unsupervised, not to mention hungry! Then they have spent the past year in a 3 bedroom house with 50+ other kids, sleeping on the floor on sheets and living on rice. I intend to spend most of my time showering them with love and attention- for once it won't be all about little me, and that is something I really look forward to.

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I can't imagine the horrors these kids have had to deal with. I think this is GREAT that you and your husband are adopting and if more of us could help children from around the world it would be a better one.

It's so funny how life is. First we tried to have kids, finally via all sorts of interventions etc which is really not fun, with limited success; then we decided to try adopting from China, but a bout with cancer nixed that- yu have to be free of cancer for five years before the Chinese gov will allow it- another stupid rule-; and then we met some people who had just opened an orphanage in Liberia. Wherever doors closed, we turned until we found another one open. To adopt from the US wasn't an option for a variety of insummountable reasons, so we kept trying international options, and found that Liberia has the highest age allowances- you can't adopt from many countries if you are over 45! So here we are working on bringing our kids home from Africa next year. It's too exciting to even think about!

First off...congratulations! Second...my husband and I sound a lot like you guys, but we already have a child. She is 9 and I have the view that marijuana is natural and when she is old enough to understand, I will explain the legal issues, the medical issues, and why she should always wait because it could stunt growth, etc. (the same speech for alcohol and cigs). I would much rather my child come home and tell me she is smoking weed than tell me she likes to drink!

I do want to say that smoking and playing with her is much better. I find myself wanting to read more books with her, or play house etc because I am "on her level" somewhat more. But let me tell you, if you are high, and your child falls or hurts themselves in any way....buzz is gone! Immediately you jump into parent mode. It is not like alcohol, where you cannot control yourself. Just think about driving...when intoxicated it is very very dangerous, but when high (from weed) you are extremely cautious. Parenting is kinda like that. Also, we do not smoke around her...or leave anything to find. To us, it's like sex...we don't want her to find us doing the deed. I don't leave sexual toys lying around for her to find, just like I don't leave papers, pipes etc. lying around.

Now as far as growing....we also only grow for ourselves. We feel we would risk getting caught more by buying it from dealers. Granted if we are caught growing, the penalties are much worse that buying, the chance of getting caught is less (unless you tell people, sell etc.)

I hope this long rant has helped. Just remember, when it comes to your children, use your own judgement. If you don't think you should, then don't.