Adopted?

my dad was adopted, and he has, umm issues..my theory is this...You are born with personality handed down from your biological parents..this is where nature takes place...As you grow with your parents you learn alot of things..how to cook, do math, etc..you also learn by watching your parents what you DON"T want to become...and can recognize those traits in yourself that aren't so great from mom and dad. I think that without that mirror of what youre like, you don't know that you don't want to be like them..right? does this make sense? I definitely harbor alot of the same issues as my dad, but sometimes when Im being an ass I can say (or my hubby says) "ok Jeff, stop being a butthole"

im also adopted. I feel with the whole abandonment thing its just a feeling of wanting to know where you came from. Ive been thinking about that a lot. It does affect the way I look at relationships with the opposite sex. I feel that I need to be cool with everyone or i'll be alone so its hard for me to kick things up to the next level with a girl sometimes. I'm actually going through that right now. Anyway my adopted parents are the best you could hope for. ANyway yeah that was my 2 cents

That definitely makes sense, Munchee. I think kids do indeed want to see themselves mirrored in their parents. I see my son going through another phase of that right now with my husband/his father. They're both so smart--and by this here I mean booksmart/school smart--and I see how my son is trying to be easier on himself when he makes mistakes than his father is on himself (and on others, too). And it's a struggle for him. He's had that self-critical, very high-achieving tendency modeled for him all his life, and now it's a part of his personality whether he likes it or not. When he was away at college this year and last, however, he saw that other kids aren't all so ruthlessly hard on themselves. And I see him trying to change that. It's interesting to watch.

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Originally Posted by MaryJaneintheCloset

Anyone here adopted? I am, from the time I was an infant. I ask because I have a theory that adoptees tend to be more susceptible to depression, etc...

Your thoughts are appreciated!

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Originally Posted by Billionfold

I'll go ask my mom!

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My Mom was adopted by her Mother's Sister when she was real young. She's on her second marriage.

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Originally Posted by birdgirl73

That definitely makes sense, Munchee. I think kids do indeed want to see themselves mirrored in their parents. I see my son going through another phase of that right now with my husband/his father. They're both so smart--and by this here I mean booksmart/school smart--and I see how my son is trying to be easier on himself when he makes mistakes than his father is on himself (and on others, too). And it's a struggle for him. He's had that self-critical, very high-achieving tendency modeled for him all his life, and now it's a part of his personality whether he likes it or not. When he was away at college this year and last, however, he saw that other kids aren't all so ruthlessly hard on themselves. And I see him trying to change that. It's interesting to watch.

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my oldest son and I butt heads, like, hourly....unfortunately I think its because he takes after me...all highstrung and bossy, my second one is really easy going, alot like my hubby...I get along with him easier, but hubby says he gets along with the older one easier than the middle...I definitely dont want to see my kids deal with some of my personality flaws (that's right people, Im NOT perfect...)

I'm sure as heck not perfect, either. And I know I haven't always been a perfect mom. I'm sure no one is. I get along very well with my son. He and his father butt heads more, and it's because they're so very alike, but when I tell my son that, he gets so defensive. I wish I'd been lucky enough to have more than one baby so I could see the different personality quirks in them.

One of the unfortunate things my boy seems to have inherited from me is a tendency to be messy and leave things lying around. We're lucky enough to have house help, so it doesn't show too badly here at home. But I already want to apologize in advance to his future wife, who's going to have a major challenge on her hands.

my father adopted me when he married my mum.