Chattering Mouths

You have a monoboob

I just ate a big plate of rice with peas and carrots, with scrambled egg, soya sauce and green olives stuffed with jalepeno pepper tossed in and all fried up in some nice cannabutter.
My god that was good.


And BizzleLovin thats some random injection. I enjoyed reading that. Like sneaking a peek at your diary. Any pictures to go along with your story...show the class. ;)

So there I was watching a few choice clips that I found on that site babyface posted.
Beautiful young women doing things I wish I had a beautiful young woman ( I mean women) to do for me for free and with no guilt or forcible confinement. You know that kind of special connection where jail is just not something you have to worry about. That special mutual understanding that nobody is going to call the cops or tell their dad. Well, there they were doing it in all their firm nakedness, all over my screen. I saw before my very eyes that yes some people are very blessed with the ability to have sex with women who are legal but only for long enough to have gotten their ID in the mail and run straight down to their local pornshop to ask the guy behind the counter where they can go to get their pretty little p****** on film and make mommy and daddy proud. Or, were out spending their birthday money at the mall when Studley struts over with a perv cam mounted on his tongue piercing and throws her some good ol fashioned gentlemanly charm and a wad of sticky bills . Wow now she has enough to buy more drugs than her parents have ever had at once! She's a real adult now! And its off to the parkinglot for her first hidden camera encounter.
Anyway, as I have seen ( hell I still see it... no its not burned into my memory Im just watching it still ) some guys have gotten a system down that works for them and they are connected to the universal manly mentality and they know I want to see this shit, and so do you too.
(I know I already lost half of you and you are already there and looking for something to cover up your naughty bits with in case your mom walks in on you while you sit there pretending you are the one exploiting them.)
So yea anyhow, once the word 'teen' is out of their age youre safe, and would you look at that, what do you know, an erection.
Kinda snuck up on me there big fella, caught me by suprise. I was wondering why I was starting to feel light headed. Its all in perspective now.
So right about that moment when youre 60-70 % sure youre going to let your friend out for some fresh air and excersize. Its just about yard time for the inmates. Well right about that moment my cat decides to hop up on my lap.
Well , not my lap, she pretty much landed right on Jimmy. She made it clear right off that any affections I might be prepared to dole out should rightfully be hers.
You know how they kinda manipulate gravity somehow so that no matter how you nudge,lean or push or otherwise physically encourage them to politely relocate you can never move them. Well I was feeling kinda uninterested in cuddles, I had entertained thoughts of much more rewarding pursuits and my minda was still kinda favoring that idea as a way to spend the next few minutes.
So, I decided to be a little more insistant right about the time that I imagine she did too. When I pushed she pushed back, when I stood partially, she clung to me like a sock sticks to a sweater when you forget the static sheet in the dryer. Well goddamn kitty, Im not into your little furry package and youre starting to distract me too much from my trouser goings on. I imagine youre all following me at this point, except those of you who started wondering a few sentences ago why I wouldnt just put kittie's fetish gear on and make it a party ( I know theres one or two of you sick fuckers ..yes feel the shame you wierdos because i do mean you! I can read your thoughts just like you suspect I can hehehehe)
Anyhow, kitty decided to up the ante a little. You know...sweeten the deal, butter me up and make me purr. If you have a cat you know what kneading is and she chose to give jimmy a good ol backrub. She complimented this bold move with a seductive arch of the back and the suggestive pointing of her fuzzy bits.
Its not that she isnt a cutie, and a really affectionate girl, and playful, and sweet but she is afterall a cat. She is missing other key ingredients that I require in a sexual friend. I guess the most outstanding one would be the whole species incompatibility. And I dont mean I wouldnt fit, I just would rather cut it off then have her continue her affections, her sly coersion attempts. She's a cunning one, she got my sweet spot on knead # 3. ( she MUST have been watching and learning lately) So before knead # 4 gave a tickle I got up right quick. As I was standing I reached down a fraction of a second too late to prevent the inevitable.
I guess in my mixed state of arousal and disgust I failed to retain some vital information key to my situation. I did remember but ohh, just a tad too late.
You see either it was some way to ensure she landed with proper form or she was startled or perhaps it was a well placed toe that was intended to communicate her feeling of being rejected , whatever it be I will simply call it a cat claw in my dick for lack of a more eloquent term. Most of us guys have at some point in our lives managed to shut the door before the troops were all in. You know zipped the zipper when we should have been more closely paying attention to see if we had indeed cleared the path of those metal gnashers before they closed around the most tender bits you would ever want zipped. Well, its not that bad. Mostly because I didnt have that moment of terror when I knew I was going to have to zip it back down if I ever wanted Jimmy to see daylight again, and if I didnt want to faint on the floor of the public bathroom.( I only need to awaken once in a public loo on the floor in a puddle with other men standing around me with their hands on their prizes to know that I dont like it at all)
Yes it was a quick claw to the king and she was off. I think what is worse is sitting here wondering if kitty was puttin the moves on me. Did she decide it was time to take our relationship to the next level. Its kinda creeping me out. Maybe it is how she sits there and stares with this spurned look upon her face. Like she feels I had led her on or something. She looks like she expected more from me. Maybe shes right. Maybe all this petting and stroking that one does to their cat in a strictly plutonic way that has made her feel like we are much more than just friends has been her foreplay. Maybe Ive been stringing her along and teasing her All this time I was thinking 'awww kitty is sooo soooft' she might have been thinking " oh youre such a bad boy you teaser you ...reoow, purrrrr!"
or something of that nature. I dont pretend to be an expert in what cat sex talk would sound like, other than like a fucking banshee in the alley at 4 am!
Maybe those were not just dreams....nevermind.
Either way she's giving me the stare and it is making me uncomfortable.
But then again so is this puncture wound in my soldier. That needs tending.
So Ill send her out of the room for a few moments while I 'nurse my wound' I think the best thing I should do is rub some ointment on it. You never can be sure when it comes to cat punctures. Yes, extra ointment just to be safe.
So Ill just sit here and watch some vids while I play doctor.
I wouldnt want to get an infection.
Well, hell if I got an infection at least ol' Jimmy would be 'in' something for a change.
Cheers !

geee thanks for your concern, its healing up nicely.
Ointment applied vigorously twice daily....and lovingly once a day will keep the doctor away.

cellar door

Twice, or thrice, your choice.