Quote:
Originally Posted by Killa.Kali
Ya, if I ever see this schmuck in public I am definetly going to have some words. He fucking closed the door on his 5 month year old son because his present girlfriend was coming over soon.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Killa.Kali
Ya, if I ever see this schmuck in public I am definetly going to have some words. He fucking closed the door on his 5 month year old son because his present girlfriend was coming over soon.
Talk stuff out with her logically and get her to stop "feeling" and start "thinking". (smoke a j with her first, amazing how a little buzz puts shit in perspective) Try asking here exactly what it is about him she loves, ask her what she really wants in a man/partner. Seems like there isn't much there to love except what she thinks is there(not what really is there), and if you help her to examine her feelings she may stop looking at him, and start looking at you.
And you also might want to help girly get in some single mom support groups, she needs more than just you to help her see reality.
ps.
make sure you really want to get involved with her, because a girl who makes a huge life decision (having a kid) like that with no preparations at all, and is obviously with a man who is not suitable (and doesnt seem to notice) may make some dumb ass decisions for you as well if you invite her into your life. Other people can and will drag you down, watch out for yourself, you seem like a really nice guy.
For that matter, what do you love about her?
I've heard her story over and over again on talk shows, love a guy, have unprotected sex, have kid (unplanned and unmarried), he cheats while she is pregnant, she leaves, she wants him back when he gets a new woman, she uses his kid as a way to manipulate him into getting back with her.
Think about it...
She is with a dude who treats her like shit and everyone can see it
but she loves him anyway
She has unprotected sex with this same man
and she gets pregnant
She finally leaves him
but only when it is so bad that even she has to see it's no good.
She has his child
then doesn't let him see the child because of her grudge.
She feels like she loves him again now
though he has another girlfriend and their past is not pleasant.
a series of really really bad decisions that she is currently forcing her brand new child into as well.
Now try this
Guy meets chick
he doesn't like her that much but keeps her around for some reason
(you dont treat people you like badly)
chick he doesn't like all that much gets pregnant with his kid
he has no choice now but to deal with this chick he doesn't like all that much
for the rest of his life, she forced him into that.
Of course he cheats on her while she is pregnant,
he definatly doesn't want a kid, barely likes her
and probably only kept her around for sex to begin with
so once she couldn't put out....he found another hole to stick it in.
she leaves him and then refuses to let him see his own child
for some stupid ass reasons of her own.
When he gets another girly he actually likes
the old one keeps coming around and using the kid as a bargaining chip to get back in his life and bed.
well he didn't like her all that much to begin with
and he didn't want a child with her
despite her not wanting him to see the kid ever...
she brings baby over when the new girlfriend is due to arrive shortly
and then everyone gets pissed off when he doesn't put his life on hold
to spend time with the girl he doesn't like
and the kid he didn't want.
chick is using the kid to get to him, and that is not fucking cool.
Sorry mate but i reckon your fighting a losing battle! Not being funny but this geezer has fucked her about and youve been nice guy eddie by giving her money and friendship etc and shes told you that you cant be anymore than friends and tells you she still loves the nasty ex boyfriend, sounds like she uses you when shes up shit creek and that if father of the year comes back with his tail between his legs she would have him back and drop you faster than a brass' knickers!
Sorry but just being real!
If i was you, i would definitely not ask her again for awhile, women (most women, i certainly have not completely figured out any of em lol) would not like people hittin on them and trying to be more than friends when they are going through something as hard as that. Who would want someone who would do that, usually they are just doing it to spite the other person if they do it when they are going through hardships. You would end up getting hurt. I would try looking for someone new, but stay close with this girl. You never know. And like that one guy said, your pretty much the dad, the other guy is just the biological father. Tell her you wanna help her take care of her kid but dont ask her out again just yet.
What Scarlett said! :)
Seriously, though... XTC, you sound like a dollbaby with a big heart. Kudos to you for that; try to hold onto that & not become bitter by this crazy world.
I wouldn't ask her again though (at least not for a loooong while); she doesn't sound like she's in the same place you are. Date someone else, even just casually, for your own sake as well as hers. If she does have feelings for you, that may be a wake-up call. Many females can begin to take someone for granted if they are too available. Best of luck to you. :)
Ok well i debated posting this but i think that you are going to need some help with this girl and your best bet is to go to this site here. It might not look like its for you but trust me there is definetly some good information that you can use in his programs, and there is even alot of info you can use in his newsletters.
It is going to look like another one of those BS sites that dont teach people anything and it costs them money for it, but trust me i own 4 of his programs and i am a member of his monthly interviews. A friend of mine i have known for many years told me he has it too after sharing some things we booth learned. I have nothing but awsome thing to say about this guy.
Even if you're sceptical about it do me a favor (since i put myself in the line of fire of other people here ;)) and read his newsletters (these are free) for a month, they come out every few days and its going to help. Mind you i do not get anything for refering you to his stuff nor am i affiliated with him.
Good luck with her, seems like your a really awsome guy, she just doesn't know whats best for her. You need to create attraction for you (you will understand that more when u read his stuff) in order to make her see that you are better for her.
I totally agree with that in every way possible!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by mlleyeuxbleus
Men don't treat women like shit (or anyone for that matter) women LET men treat them bad. I just feel like you let people treat you like doormats or you don't. Screw me once your fault, screw me twice I asked for it. Just my thoughts.
Take yourself off the market, dude. It may be for the best, it may just be a waste of time. If that's too hard, pretend like you're off the market. Good luck and hope she's worth it, whomever she may be.