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it won't be long and you'll be back. your mom will also see how considerate and responsive you are towards her and i'm sure the leash will get some slack again soon. sorry to see you go but very glad to see the reasons why...you're one wise lady!
good luck and see ya soon...
please come back soon, we need all the cool members we can get,.
ya that really sucks....dont go.,i like your posts lol...really i do but come back if your allowed to. I hope you mom gives in and shes just mad
Aww man, you're a good girl Lily, try to pop in here once in a while @ a public library or somethin! haha good luck to you.
I have a problem, a behavior problem where im still just a little kid traped inside a teenagers body but on the other hand I still have feelings just as any other teenager. Im really emotional and I have a difficult time dealing with things that someone at my age might be dealing with so it makes things so much harder for me to go through or sometimes my actions would be something of a little girls. Since I was 2years old it was one bad experience after another and its made me really sick of life. I never did anything to deserve these feelings or these experiences; im just a little girl that hasent fully developed into a 17 year old girl.
Mom and I talk about this and i've been really wondering why am I like this. Why do I have such pain from things that have been said or done. I cant handle things that people think I can. When my cousin or my mom or my grandfather or anyone else talks to me they're expecting me to talk to them as a 17 year old but i dont work that way and they think im either really lazy or retarded because this is not the way a 17 year old girl would answer their question. I dont think anyone realises that this puts a lot of pressure on me to try to be something i havent become yet and now im getting depressed and hurt. Its a really horrible feeling to feel when people think your creepy or fucked up when I dont know how to respond to them like a 17 year old girl as they would suspect, im still very fragile and innocent. I had no intention at all to be this way and everyone is blaming me...its a really scary and horrible feeling. I hope Allah guides me to get better but for the time being i just have to remember that im not like people think i am. Im still pure. Im only just growing...Things right now arent very good and im very lonely.
I talked to my mom and she said she had just realized my problem and that she hd no patience on how to deal with me. I cant blame her because i had no idea how to deal with myself. I had an idea as of what was wrong with me but i never said it out loud or declared that it was actually the problem that started the whole thing. Now that my mom understands shes going to be less hard on me and be more patient around me. My mom really cares about me and shes realy the only thing I had for a very long time and i'll never forget that. Shes an amazing woman. Shes going to allow me back here but she told me to have more fun around where I live and not just sit around or just keep thinking about so many things that drive me nutz (Thinking does that... especially when your alone a lot).
Im really sorry for having to leave and return and then leave and return again. I feel really foolish and i hope no one thinks im bi polar or something ( no offense to those who r bi polar my best friend is but they are a bit undecided about things). Again im sorry....i feel really dumb right now and really confused and i hope everything will be better for me now that my mom and I understand whats happening to me and why Im not like any other 17 year old.
You're a lot more articulate and self-aware than the average 17 year old. I really dont underestand what idea people in your life are feeling you should live up to. Everyone is different, and its no wonder you're depressed if your family has created some standard that they feel you are not meeting. Have they given you any guidance on what they expect from you and your behavior, or are they just criticizing without offering explanations or help to you?
If you're only getting criticism then you should make your family aware that that hurts you, it doesn't help you, and can make you beat yourself up rather than lift yourself up, which is what it sounds like to me right now.
Anyway, I want to repeat that you are extremely articulate, moreso than people even twice your age, and definitely moreso than people of your age bracket. It sounds like you are a caring and loving person who is very self-reflective, which is a wonderful and admirable trait to have. The good news is generally self-reflective people continue to take in new information and study themselves and better themselves throughout their lifetime and become highly intelligent deep thinkers - whereas the average person generally hits an intellectual stand-still early in their adulthood and never develop much beyond that.
Dont dwell on what you dont know, be proud of what you do know and that if you dont know something, you're humble enough to take in new information without beating youself up for not knowing it.
I would talk to your family though about their expectations, it really sounds like they are infecting and sabatoging your own idea of your self-worth.
Lily,
I personal think on here you act older then 17 at times. I know what you're saying though. I used /still am the same way at times and i'm 22 years old. I've never really been the one to deal with emotions and stuff.But don't be so hard on yourself. I think you're a cool girl, and very responcible considering you were going to leave her out of respect for your mother. That's not being rebelious at all, it's doing something that'll have a better outcome.I know a 17 year old girl right now that is very indesiesive, and is alway's going againest what her mother said. She didn't really care who or what she hurt as long as she got what she needed.
If you want to quit smoking, or whatever then do it. It doesn't mean anything. Hell it just means your more responsible about things. Rather you stay here or not, everyone will miss you, or be reallly happy that you're staying.I don't think your dumb, I still think you're a really cool girl. And I for one am glad that you're going to stay here for a bit. People need breaks from this forum, or the computer even, and no one is going to condemn you for it because they know that there is a point & time in life when they'll have to do it too.
But don't worry, Your cool,and I hope everything works out with your mother. Good luck lily, and I hope to still see you around here:)
Awwww Lily!
You seem like a normal 17 yr old to me, the only difference is you seem very mature to me. And very respectful of your mother. Being 17 can be a very strange and confusing time. Know it will get better!
Hang in there Lily girl!
Thankz every1!! I know i dont act 5 or 10 all the time but usually i do and people find it weird. Only hen im with my friends i feel comfortable to be myself weither im acting 17 or 5. I dont think its all that bad but it does hurt when people tell me im fucked up because of it.
I love you guyz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your my buds!!!! :D
I still canmt smoke but at least im allowed back on here, and thats what i care about most. ;)
shit thats preaty shity.well i hope it all gose well. i havent smoked in 3 months, cuz i have to do a class that is recired by law for ppls under 18 if the get cought smokin pot. my dad dosent care. my mom sort of knew just she never found anything like my pipes or bongs or full or empty bags. but i hope that one day after im done eith this class my dad will invite me to spark up his bong, man he has sum dank ass nugs. i found like a lil crumb and smelt it man that smelt hella good.i put it in his bong and fired that shit up. it was like smokin like 2 huge bouls out of a bong with just one hit of this shit.