Under 18 Year Olds Having Sex

The reason I ask the question is because I am part of a research team that basically is trying to work with parents in my community, who have teenage children, to prevent teenage pregnancies. I think it helps to talk with parents, but I really feel that it would help more if we talked with teens also. Because the research team wants to focus more on empowering parents and help parents to talk with their teens that I don't get to go around talking with teens. Not that I want to push my beliefs or values on the teenagers but I was curious how one could (if possible) go about preventing teenage pregnancies besides offering condoms/protection. I think the research team is pushing abstinence but I feel that it's unrealistic.

I thought that it would help me better if I understood why. I mean, I know why I had sex at 15 years of age but my reasons can be different from another teenager's/person's.

Thanks for responding...some interesting replies! :)

Keep working at it Cheery. My own opinion is that we (parents and media) have to encourage boy-girl "friendships" during the years before age 18. Slow down the relationship progression, and encourage more light dating with different people throughout the teen years. This may require parents to allow (encourage ?) sexual alternatives to intercourse .... we know what they are ..... and to make the consequences of unwanted pregnancies crystal clear , especially to the boys.

I do think that progress can be made in this area. Abstainance until marriage is no longer realistic, but there can be some safer alternatives that can satisfy the multitudes of sexually curious teens.

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Originally Posted by BalliN

i love girls girls girls girls

girls i do adore...

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i love to CUM , CUM , CUM , CUM ,CUM
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CUMMIN' I do Adore

i was 17 when i had first had sex with my boyfriend. it was a really beautiful experience. and i have to realize that when my daughters are a bit older i have to inform them as much as possible on sex. we as parents can't shy away from teaching our young ones about what goes on around us. there's too much going on where we have to get to ours kids first before anyone else does.

DonnieDarko... you have completely hit it on the head!!! It seems as though more & more young teens are ensconcing themselves in sort of "mini-marriages", where they are declaring their undying & eternal love, & have this strict commitment to each other. When as we get older we realize that dating is a learning experience, & you don't even know *yourself* totally until you finish growing up. Then we see that the odds of two 14-yr. olds truly being together forever are pretty much nil. My point is that by making things sooo serious at that young age, they're only setting themselves up for major heartbreak & emotional trauma. I would love to see a cultural shift away from that, & just kids being kids again. Exploring the dating scene is one thing, but developing super-glued bonds at a young age just doesn't seem healthy.

Cheery, I think what you're doing is great. I would also add that there needs to be an emphasis on safer sex, EVEN when a guy & a gal are in an 'exclusive' relationship. I don't care how exclusive you think it is, so many people are into sneaking around (it's freaking glorified in so much popular music, how sad), that it's just ridiculous to think 'oh, he's my boyfriend, so he's safe.' There needs to be a tactful way to give them a wakeup call from this dangerous naivete, without implying that their partner is an outright cheating bastard (as that would only make them defensive).

As for my first sexual experience, I was 17. First boyfriend (had just moved out of my mom's, which was very strict & religious, so no dating allowed til then), first kiss, first everything. We had dated for a few months & made out a lot, & finally one afternoon decided to go for it. It was great til his dad came home, lol. Luckily he had really cool parents. Literally the next day I went to Family Planning & got my exam & went on the pill. I figured if I was doing it, I wanted to do it right. I think going on the pill also felt 'grown-up', which was cool at the time, lol.

I had sex long before I turned 18. I didn't at the time (and I don't now) think there should be any age restrictions when it comes (no pun intended) to sex. This doesn't mean that I think 10, 11, 12 year olds should be having sex, but I do realise that every single person matures, both mentally and physically, at different speeds.

My main reason for thinking there should be no age restrictions for sex is that I strongly believe that the law should not be able to dictate things like this. Things such as sexual orientation or sexual prolificacy should be for each individual - or each individuals respective guardian - should decide. The same applies to drug laws - whether I think each particular drug is good or bad I still think that it should be up to each individual to decide if they want to take them or not, and that decision should not be made for anybody.

I believe that the only way to ever tackle things such as drug abuse or underage sex is education. Banning these things, or placing restrictions on them will not stop the problem, only sweep it under the rug, so to speak. Teaching children the ins and outs (again, no pun intended) of sex honestly and openly is the only way for them to learn the dangers that can come from having unprotected sex. Stop acting like sex is a bad thing and your kids will stop acting like they're not having sex. They'll be more open and honest with you and you can give them advice they will actually listen to, instead of treating sex as something you should always keep secret until your child reaches 18.

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Originally Posted by mlleyeuxbleus

DonnieDarko... you have completely hit it on the head!!! It seems as though more & more young teens are ensconcing themselves in sort of "mini-marriages", where they are declaring their undying & eternal love, & have this strict commitment to each other. When as we get older we realize that dating is a learning experience, & you don't even know *yourself* totally until you finish growing up. Then we see that the odds of two 14-yr. olds truly being together forever are pretty much nil. My point is that by making things sooo serious at that young age, they're only setting themselves up for major heartbreak & emotional trauma. I would love to see a cultural shift away from that, & just kids being kids again. Exploring the dating scene is one thing, but developing super-glued bonds at a young age just doesn't seem healthy.

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Completely agree. But I think the only reason for these "mini-marriages" is because society as a whole puts so much emphasis on the need to find a partner, settle down and get married. Many adults believe that you cannot survive without a partner, and some act as if their lives are ruined until they find one. Alot of people believe that having a partner is essential to having a good life... kids see this and naturally they mimick it.

hmm well il put the normal answer raging hormones

Honestly, from a teenagers perspective. I think everything you're all saying is unrealistic. I'm one of the more, what's the way to say it, "senseable" teens? By telling teenagers what to do, it only makes it worse. I know all sort of teens. The only teens that don't disobey their parents constantly are the ones who don't exist, ha. There's no such thing as a good kid/teen anymore. No I don't think teens should be having sex and whatnot. It doesn't change what we're going to do, though. By telling a teen they can't have a relationship, it will only make them want one more, and go to a further extent to get it. I know MANY girls with children under the age of 16. Every one of them has told me how their parents tried to be controlling and keep them away from guys. So they went for the "bad boys" or should we say, "assholes." The guys that say "we don't need a condom, baby, I love you" just because they don't feel like spending like, what, 12 dollars or so on a box of condoms? The media has NOTHING to do with it, and parents cannot control it. If anything parents make it worse. The main influence on that choice is other teenagers. There's really absolutely nothing you can do it. I've told many people, and I'll keep telling people, I'm afraid for my generation. We'll survive, though, same as all the ones in the past. This isn't the biggest problem they've had. Worry about drugs more. Honestly, a child is a gift regardless of who it comes from or how it came about. It's a life struggle from then on for a teenager, but that's their fault. They'll either learn, or be screwed up.

Best bet, worry about getting the babies from the teenagers who CAN'T take care of them, and put them in the hands of decent people. Not people who will rape and abuse them, possibley giving them an even worse life than they could have ever possibley had with the biological parents.

It works like drugs, though. Even the smartest kids are going to make mistakes. Regardless of what ANYONE does, it WILL happen. All you can do is take care of them when it does happen.

Just a few typographical errors, fixing them since it wouldn't let me edit my post.

I said: There's really absolutely nothing you can do it.
"There's really absolutely nothing you can do."

I also said: This isn't the biggest problem they've had. Worry about drugs more.
"There have been bigger problems in the past."

Forget the "Worry about drugs more." That was a different thought, I just didn't delete it accidentally.