He startled you and you reacted to a lifetime of pain. Don't fault yourself. You may not be ready for a Dear Daddy Holiday. Holidays are special to you. Don't fuck up the plans you have! Since, that was your initial desire. You reacted to a sudden shock..
I guess you have his phone #? Don't do anything, until you really work through your feelings and are sure of yourself in this situation! O.K.? You don't want to open up yourself for more pain and disappointment, especially during the holidays. Think it through, you are good at problem solving! pr