why am i single??

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Originally Posted by blackbarbie

well i have really low self esteem also so i just assume the guys not into me before anything happens. so i cant do that. =/ its good advice though, but i really just cant.

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Horse doo-doo! Can't is for old people ;). You can do it, just be yourself. Chances are though if your "looking for someone" you won't find them simply because your looking for them. The person for you might be right in front of you and you dont see them cause your blinded by what you think you want..if that makes sense,.. its like "cant see the forrest for the trees", meaning your so distracted by something, you overlook the obvious. Being a man I will tell you this from my perspective and this is just how I operate. When I was looking for a woman (years back) the first thing obviously was looks. Lets not kid each other here, without a conversation and knowing the inner of that person, physical attraction is the first step. Secondly, if a man can't hold a decent intelligent convo, and is all looks, forget it cause chances are thats all you'll end up with. The two of you will need something in common, even though opposites attract, something the two of you can share together :jointsmile:. If you feel that you are shy and insecure with yourself, you have to "fix" you first, for lack of better words. Not saying fix whats wrong with you, what I am saying is make up for your insecurities in another way by excelling in other areas. Without knowing why the insecurity exists and knowing you personally, it's kind of hard to give you any real helpful advice here. Just curious, why do you feel insecure about yourself? What about yourself don't you like or are uncomfortable with? If your just shy, sometimes it helps to have a drink. Not saying get drunk, but a little alcohol tends to "loosen" you up a bit. My partners call it "liquid encouragement"..LOL. :thumbsup:And if you dont drink, then this buds for you!:jointsmile::thumbsup:Good luck in your endeavors!

Oh yeah, if you look like the Black Barbie below you are one fine lady..LOL..:thumbsup::thumbsup:

i dotn think having a drink is really the anwser it just a temporary "fix" for your insecurities. i used to be shy and quite at one point but that wasnt who i am. i got more confident over time and so will you.. haha now i hardly ever shut up!

usually when you're not looking for a relationship, it always seems to find you. you'll never know what hit you. sit back relax and enjoy the single life because after that... well you'll find out.

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Originally Posted by trynagethigh

Just curious, why do you feel insecure about yourself? What about yourself don't you like or are uncomfortable with?

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i've always been insecure ever since i was a kid idk why

Someone growing up insecure since a kid is usually due to bad parenting. This insecurity is put deep into your mind.

Fortunately it can be changed. Just do something every day for yourself. Taking good care of your body is a must.
Try to eat healthy, exercise, and occasionally give yourself a present.
By taking care of yourself you will create the mindset that you are valuable, and this will eventually replace the bad self image that was put into you as a child.

THClord is completely right, basically outlining my situation.

I see it as your big step in becoming a true man.

be confident and like crudemood said DONT LOOK FOR IT. i know its typical to say (i dont know how to spell klee-shay lol) but everything happens for a reason. you will meet a guy wen u least exspect it. my past 3 guys have all been from random nights where i was either at a wedding with only 20 ppl where i doubted any hot guys would be there, on a girls night at my apt wen my friend was on my balcony n realized that this guy she used to fuck lived across the street. thankfully i got him instead lol the time b4 that was wen i went to my gilrfriends house expecting it to be her and one other friend and i walk in and there are like 5 guys. ended up dating one of them for a yr and half on and off. i could keep goin with random times i met my men but i wont bore you.
just be confident and worry about yourself. someone who deserves you will find you.

its crazy how many ppl are out there and how one of them could be the guy you marry or something. im blazed dont mind me :stoned:

No offense, but please tell me your avatar isn't an actual picture of you.

^ No thats Jay from Americas Next Top Model, he's a really awsome gay guy

Im a decent looking guy, take care of myself and dress cheap but smart, I used to have simmilar problems so i feel for you,
The simple thing is, you need to get out of your comfort zone and take some emotional risks.

you have to go out on a limb a bit and be a bit more social.

This is really sad, but i read up on some internet site about dating tips, and the most important thing i learned was about confidence and approaching people.

Your insecure, so start small, ask random good looking strangers in the street if they know what time it is, then move along, and ask again.
If your out drinking and you see an interesting looking drink/food, go over to the table and ask what the drink/food is, tell the people that you are thinking of getting "what ever it is" and you are curious.

you will soon realise that people are hopelessly social, and are happy to talk to you when approached in the right way.

these small confidence builders will help you a lot.
you might get the odd funny look, but ignore it, and carry on....