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Yeah well I DO live in California....and I SERIOUSLY doubt I'd be running casual dates up to my 35 strains growing in the attic even so. You can still get arrested in CA and there are a LOT of cops who continue to look at marijuana as an illegal drug. I dont tell ANYBODY around here anything.....and I would certainly continue to keep it that way.
Hey wow thanks for all of the replies.
In a way it is good to know that i am not alone in my shitty plight. It is just one of those things where I don't have much of a choice since I am already well passed the point of no return.
It is sometimes amazing the choices one must make to live a life that we feel is, "acceptable". Not to mention getting out of a mountain of debt and not spending my life in a fucking floro lit box like one of my plants that I raise just to be slaughtered in the end.
I have tried and for a long time was able to live a somewhat normal life with good prospects but because of some unfortunate and dire circumstances I now find myself here with a bunch of plants in my house.
Growing has been a tough and stressful journey as I have been trying to master all of the elements of plant growth. I never assumed that it would be easy to do but I had no idea how hard it would be to get good yields while also having quality and potentcy that would be sufficient to impress anyone who knows their shit. Adding the emotional drain to the equation was unexpected and I find it to be the hardest thing to deal with yet.
No matter how good things get with my grows, it will never erase the fact that I am no longer a, "normal" person. A certain level of secrecy now must be maintained with everyone including my friends. My family of course knows nothing and now I have had to push them away too.
Losing my close friend though was the hardest. We are still friends I guess, but I find myself resenting her and hating myself at the same time. I now know that these kind of situations will become more and more common as time goes on and it really worries me a lot. Soon I will push her away too and back to square one I will go.
I hear ya! I'm basically in the same situation. A girl who wants to basically be on the losing side of things(minimum wage)and I'm just not feeling her. She knows that I've been studying(cannibus 101)for a grow and she's not supportive even though we've been together 5 years! All I can think of is that when she met me I had all the trappings of a crack dealer(home,cars,clothes,etc). But I wanted to make a positive change in my life so I ditched the poison(2002)and got into being a real estate investor considering she was a mortgage broker. Due to a bad market and poor business decisions(mostly on her part)we tanked horribly! Now I see a silver(green) lining and I feel totally solo! And besides, I'm tired of being a cannibus client. I have an expensive habit! But I've made my decision mentally! My first break I'm headed for the border of Liberation!Quote:
Originally Posted by sublbc
This isn't- at least for me- about the money. I HAVE a 'real' job, and my real job supports my true passion, which is preserving cannabis genetics and making them available to other growers.Quote:
Originally Posted by VoidLivesOn
Hell, I was working THREE jobs last year, including one that is a benefitted management position, and taking care of my rental property, just to get by. I live in an ugly 2-family house in an economically depressed town and drive a car wiht a big ol' dent in the side.
This is by no means about being too lazy to work. I, too, refuse to take a 60k job- yes, I turned down a job that would have DOUBLED my salary about 18 months ago because it just didn't seem like it would have made me happy- just for financial security.
Growing pot makes me happy. It's never going to make me rich.
If it were orchids, it would not be a problem.
But it's not.
I, too, share your passion for cannibus-the iconic peace sign. I just wish to be its ambassador! I've smoked for 8yrs now and I wish I would've smoked sooner. It kinda gives life an artful twist.Quote:
Originally Posted by stinkyattic
Stinky they are right that it is about choices. "If onlys" are a complete waste of time.
You need to be aware that you ALREADY take too many chances for your "passion" It's easy to say that if someone else would solve your problem you wouldn't have any. yeah...that would work for me too.....if only.
What if your passion were bank robbery? Or child molesting? Sure....and I'd love to have a bunch of extra dogs and horses stuffed in my house too....but you have to draw a line between such things and your daily life. To me....you didn't do that and now you are paying the price. But it IS all about choices.
You do NOT have to have 35 strains in your attic. You do NOT have to do things the way you choose to. There are a lot of compromises in life. You don't strike me as someone who likes to do that so yes.....you're stuck.
I have another friend.....VERY like you although older and much more outspoken about things who describes herself in terms of being "a four-colored poster" That's you....but you make the choice about WHICH color and just HOW loud that color is.
hell i would love to date someone who grows and there are tons fo girls out there like me. no worries man you'll find the right one when you least expect it
At this point it's just shades of grey.Quote:
Originally Posted by Weedhound
Then you need to take off the gray-colored glasses because if there is ANYONE who is not shades of gray.....it's you.
Stinky I just took a look at a friend of yours profile pic.....foxysox. Now....how quiet is that?
Folks like you are never gray. But you can give the APPEARANCE of gray. That's what you want to aim for imo. Save the brighter colors for folks you know you can trust. ;)
I didn't come on here to wallow in self pity. I've fucked up something very dear to me. I'm not sure how it relates to the grow in the attic but it does. Maybe because it's convenient to have the plants as an excuse when you aren't capable of real relationships with humans...