I've learned that...

condoms are our friends

Friendowl taught me this one: don't try to rob the donut guy. :D

Don't trust anybody over 30....:hippy:..or under 30....:wtf:...depending on which side of the fence your on.

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Originally Posted by Dutch Pimp

Don't trust anybody over 30....:hippy:..or under 30....:wtf:...depending on which side of the fence your on.

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and, don't trust that fence, either, they're known to collapse ... :jointsmile:

i have learned that -

eating habaneros and smoking weed will cure most anything, including a broken heart.

most women are truly happy only when they have sucked the life out of at least one man.

all children have an almost overwhelming subconscious desire to kill their parents.

i am the only one i can trust and even i am highly suspect.

being a dirty old man is the highest calling that any male can aspire to.

any lie, if told long enough, will eventually become truth.

if someone asks you whether you want the good news of the bad news first, they probably don't really have any good news.

dogs are man's best friend, cats are woman's best friend and canaries are delicious when lightly sauteed and served on a bed of wild rice with lemon and dill.

Iv learned sawdust can be a catalyst

The Top Ten Things I Have Learned In Life.
by- happiestmferoutthere

1) I have learned denial is a marvelous coping strategy, and sometimes if you ignore something, it will go away.
2) I have learned cops really do like donuts. It's not just a stereo-type!
3) I have learned you can catch more flies with honey than piss and vinegar.
4) I have learned farting is funny in any language.
5) I have learned when you finally learn all the rules, they will change.
6) I have learned a watched pot never boils, but a forgotten pot burns.
7) I have learned that boys love their toys, they just get more expensive and louder.
8) I have learned if boys see boobies they act like it's the first pair they've ever laid eyes on no matter how many they've seen.
9) I have learned men are from mars!
And last but not least:
10) I have learned lifes a bitch and then you die.

Thank You.:rastabanna:

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Originally Posted by Purple Banana

I've learned that I can easily photoshop the grades on my college transcripts to get better rates on my car insurance.

What have you learned out of life?

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Ive learned that if purple banana gets caught she could be charged with insurance fraud.

I've learned that I can't go a whole day at work without fucking SOMETHING up, whether it be dropping cups/sandwiches/pastries, or making a drink wrong or spilling a drink/hot coffee on my hand.

I'm just clumsy (and fyi, it has nothing to do with weed, I've always been clumsy)

I've learned you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

But you can catch even MORE flies with a big steaming pile of bullshit.