Yo mama jokes....

from the movie, "wildcats", with Goldie Hawn

" you ooo-glay, you ooo-glay,...............your mama, said you ooo-glay!"

How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
(I'll tell you tomorrow.)

What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"
"No, I just lie there."


Blond and Blue

A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co- workers saw him they asked him what had happened. He told them it had happened at church. They didn't believe him, and wanted to know what really happened.

So he told them, "I went to the church. I got on my knees and prayed. When I stood up to sing the hymns, there in front of me was the biggest woman I had ever seen. Her dress was stuck in her butt-crack, so being the gentleman I am, I reached over and pulled it out for her. She did not like that, so she hit me." The guys laughed and ribbed him about it all day.

The next week he showed up to work and his face was beat bad! Again the guys asked him what had happened and he told them he'd got beaten up at church. Again they didn't believe him, so he explained, "I went to the church. I got on my knees and prayed. When I stood up to sing the hymns, there in front of me was that same big woman with her dress again stuck up her butt-crack."

At this point the other men interrupted and said, "Please tell us you didn't pull her dress out of her crack again?"

"No, the guy standing beside me did, and I knew she didn't like that, so I shoved it back in."

Ya momma's so fat they drag her behind trains to scrub the tunnels.

Ok, I'll try one.

Yo momma's so fat she gets free trips to the Caribbean because she's the main source of communication between us and Manatees.

edit: I'm not a joke writer.

yo mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car

yo mommas so ugly she said trick or treat and gave me a heart attack
ripped

OH SHIT BEACHGUY WAS HERE! havent seen him in ages

yo mamma so fat when she jumps into the air she gets stuck
yo momma so stupid she tried to steal a free sample
yo mamma so dumb she took a doughnut back cause it had a hole in it
yo mamma so fat a bus hit her and she says who threw that rock
ur momma so fat i ran around her and got lost
hope u like

your momma so poor i walked into her front door and fell out the back

Your mama makes free willy look like a tic-tac