Feeling nothing

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Originally Posted by PureEvil760

i was diagnosed with schizophrenia a long time ago and now realize that it was a false diagnoses and the aderall or whatever it was called made me feel like shit.

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I don't know man, just keep in mind that whatever you see, whatever supernatural entites impart significant wisdom to you, the human brain is 100% capable of producing it of it's own accord, with absolutely no subtle hints that the experience isn't genuin. It's an amazing thing really. I don't mean to put you down, please don't take it as such, I just think when you talk about speaking to supernatural entities you have to consider all the possibilities, especially the more likely ones.

we all have changes,,, it's a part of life for me anyway... I believe everyones emotions run hot and cold,,,just like a bad hair day... the fact that you care about it tells me your not evil,,,don't be so hard on yourself

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mrdevious

I don't know man, just keep in mind that whatever you see, whatever supernatural entites impart significant wisdom to you, the human brain is 100% capable of producing it of it's own accord, with absolutely no subtle hints that the experience isn't genuin. It's an amazing thing really. I don't mean to put you down, please don't take it as such, I just think when you talk about speaking to supernatural entities you have to consider all the possibilities, especially the more likely ones.

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i have divine madness which is alot like schizophrenia so i could see how they could get to that conclusion, but divine madness is not somthing psycotherapists even know about, and i know that my spiritual experiences were all real..accept for a couple of astral projections cause they seemed like dreams.

taken from Global Oneness - The meeting place for Cultural Creatives - Articles, News, Community, Forums, Travel & Events and much more.

during divine madness the individual may have any combination or all of the following symptoms:


Feelings of depression, despair, loneliness
Loss of energy
Chronic exhaustion not linked to a physical disorder
Loss of control over one's personal and/or professional direction in life
Unusual sensitivity to light, sound and other environmental factors
Anger, frustration, lack of patience
Loss of identity, purpose, and meaning to life
Withdrawal from life's everyday routines
Feelings of madness and insanity
A sense of abandonment by God
Feelings of inadequacy
Lessened feelings of attachment to family and friends
Loss of attention span, self-confidence and self-esteem
Frequent bouts of spontaneous crying and weeping

These symptoms mimic ordinary clinical depression. However, there is a major difference. Spiritual madness is an "inner thing" between you and God during which deep, rich spiritual growth is occurring. Anti-depressants may rob you of this miraculous (yet painful) experience.

Those symptoms seems like the person experiencing devine madness is actually losing control of their consciousness, rather than learning to control and explore it. Sorry, but I believe one can only learn to control where they take their existence, by understanding its nature and manipulating it to whatever ends are sought.

I don't feel a "loss of connection with God," I don't even really believe in a god. I know for those who DO happen to believe, it can be hard to imagine someone not believing, but that's how I feel.

Many people, actually about 1% of the population have roughly a very similar
chemical fuck-up, if you want to put it crudely, as myself. Although every person's body is very different, there is a very similar element to the type of brain chemicals released/not released. What is so spiritual about that? I fully respect your opinion, if you believe in divine madness, I have no problem with it, I'm simply saying this is how I view my symptoms- I know my body better than anyone else, in addition to how (for the most part) it works.

As stated in a previous thread, I don't really mind the random thoughts that come with the disorder, and I'm more than able to maintain an intelligent thought, but it's simply not as simply spiritual to me when I go from a 3.8 college student to dropping out because I am unable to recall new information.

For the record, I can feel all of my symptoms the exact same with or without medication- it's just a matter of frequency, excluding the feelings of nothing.

EDIT: Mr Devious- It could very well be a large seratonin plummet; I was thinking decreased dopamine activity... I can easily understand the physical and neurochemical pathways in the brain, but dealing with it emotionally, or lack thereof, is difficult to explain or control.

Bleeding now iâ??m
Crying out iâ??m
Falling down and iâ??m
Feeling nothing like
Laughing now iâ??m
Stopping now iâ??m
Reaching out and iâ??m
Feeling nothing

Yeah, you have created a rift within me
Now there have been several complications
That have left me feeling nothing
I might say, you were wrong to take it from me
Left me feeling nothing

Crawling now iâ??m
Beaten down iâ??m
Tortured now and iâ??m
Feeling nothing like
Hunting now iâ??m
Stalking now iâ??m
Reaching out and iâ??m
Killing nothing

I can feel you ripping and teaching
Feeding and growing inside of me
I want this, more than you know
I need this, give it back to me


sorry your thread title made my mind instantly go to this song... i think i know what your feeling..

to me, music is the medicine that pills can't solve...

I think people are accidentally equating 'feeling nothing' as feeling sad/depressed/pscyhotic, but it's not. It's just mildly boring whenever it happens, like "Oh, it's a rainbow. Whatever," and then I feel just flat lined for 2 days at most. But yeah, I do get depressed some days.

Good song, though. Disturbed, right?

yeah, and i'm still pretty sure what you're talking about it, i go through periods (sometimes as short as a single day, sometimes as long as 2-3 weeks) where i.... just don't care...

i'm deviod of all emotion and feeling, and it's like i'm on autopilot or something, just doing what i gotta do to get through the day.... no desire to play games, or 'have fun', not mad, sad, happy, depressed, crazy, etc... i'm just... 'blah' it's hard to really describe...

Yeah, that's definately it. My parents know about a lot of the minor auditory/visual hallucinations and bizarre thoughts about my schizo, it's just I'd rather not have them know about these little episodes- I think they's think I was turning into some psychotic person? But I have no desire to harm anyone, so it's all cancelled out.