My sister, Charlotte Elizabeth, 1955 - 2006

Many of you whoâ??re familiar with me know that my familyâ??s been in the long, painful process of losing my older sister to ovarian cancer in recent months. Bess died very early this morning, surrounded by our family. She fought a courageous battle against her cancer for nearly five years, and her terminal condition only became clear within the last four months or so as the disease spread to her brain.

Itâ??s very hard for me to write about the type of person she was right now. But if youâ??ve ever known someone who was an ideal combination of spirit, beauty, and intelligence, that was Bess. She taught me as much or more about how to value life, respect others, and love from the bottom of my heart than any other person on this earth. She wasnâ??t just my older sister but also my oldest and best friend, my favorite role model, and my first â??teacher.â?� My parents say she was so delighted to find herself with a baby sister when she was 6 that she played school with me from the time my infant carrier could be propped upright. She was determined to knock some sense into my head, and she grew up to be a career teacher. Iâ??ve clearly grown up to be a perpetual student. Still a troublesome one, too.

Thanks and much love to the many of you whoâ??ve conveyed well wishes, prayers, and good thoughts over these last months as Iâ??ve been facing this. I apologize to others of you for whom this news comes as a surprise or who don't know me. It was often awkward at best to directly mention the fact that she was dying, and it was frequently a much-needed emotional break for me to simply come to the boards and play, discussing other subjects. It was Bessâ?? last rounds of chemo this past summer that led me to this site, looking for information regarding medical mj. Cannabis gave her some of the most pleasant, chemo-symptom-free time she had early last summer, and Iâ??ll never regret helping make that possible. The only thing I regretâ??and this makes me mad as heck when I think about itâ??is that we had to break the law to do so. That, to me, is the real crimeâ??that in our state and still far too many other states and countries, people who need medical cannabis are denied safe, legal access to it.

If youâ??re so inclined, hereâ??s a way you can honor my sister. Please tell your family or friends that you love them tonight. Then tell them again tomorrow. Then keep telling them that for the rest of your days. Practice random acts of kindness whenever you can. And work hard at being nice to other people. Some make this a very challenging thing to do, I know. But when you think about it, theyâ??re nearly always the ones who need our kindness far more than the ones who make it easy. These were lessons I learned from my sister Bess.

I may not be online very frequently during the next three days, but Iâ??ll check in when I can. Just as an FYI for the detectives among you, weâ??re not running any notices in the online Dallas-area news sites anytime soon, if ever. Weâ??ve been in touch personally with everyone who needs to know the details of her services, and this decision not only helps protect our privacy but also helps prevent us from being generously over-loved by my husbandâ??s very dear current and former patients, many of whom are senior citizens with limited means.

Take care, everyone. Much love and light to each of you and yours tonight.

I can only imagine what you're going through. Time to smoke a bowl for good ol' Charlotte.

My hat's off to ye.

Just lost my sister. She was all that to me as well.

Be a comfort to your family.

-

I'm sorry for your loss

but she is in a better place now

I send my condolences to you and your family

So sorry to hear this. Ill keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

:(
'
'
'
Your post was so beautiful birdgirl and an honor to Bess. So very moving.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

God Bless You Bess, may you sing with the angels.

I'm sorry to hear that.. my thoughts go out to you and your family.

My step-dad is battling terminal esophagial/lung cancer, and about 4 weeks ago the docs gave him 3 months to live. I've been driving 3 hours home every weekend to see him and spend time with him. I know the sadness and pain you're going through.. but you just have to remember the good times you had with her.

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. That was a beautiful memorial, and my condolences and thoughts are with you during this very painful time.

im so sorry 4 ur lose
and if she was even half as sweet and kind as u birdgirl
she was 1 heck of a great woman
please rest peacefully 2 nite
knowing ur sis is with God now
teaching the little angels
she's not completly gone
u carry her in ur heart

I will certainly tell my family I love them. Birdgirl, I'm so sorry for your loss, having never personally experianced a death to a close friend or family member. R.I.P

im sorry birdgirl, RIP

If she was anything like you, I am sure she was a boon to this earth.

Message-board condolences from someone you have never met cannot and will not mean much; nevertheless, I understand what this kind of loss is, as I have lost a loved one to a long and painful end at the hands of cancer as well. I know many of us have.

Language is far too limited for me to express it.

theres something about ur post's...deep

but this one is beatiful...im sorry for ur loss :(

He takes the best of people, quite a shame. I am sorry ;(

Im sorry to hear Bess passed on, but now she'll be in the most comfort possible. I dont normally think of God, or pray to him, but tonight, my prayers are with you and your family, and of corse Bess.

I hope your doing well, and so is everyone else. If i could, you know i'd come and pay my repects, and i mean that, the highest respect.

Today i'll be thinking of you all.

Take care, and most of all, remember that one day everyone will be together with the most happiness possible.

Much love, Alex.

My Condoleances to you and your family.If there is anything I can do,jus let me know.

damn, thats gotta be tough, i dont know what i'd do if i lost my older brother, hes just like that, teacher, guider, protector kinda guy, and if i lost him, i'd be angry, confused, lost, etc, but you seem to be alot stronger than that, and maybe, just maybe, you got your strength from her, maybe shes up their now cheerin you on, lets hope so eh?

just quickly had a moment of pure genius, lol i got a plant with medicinal traits, and it has no name.... and i really feel moved by this...

As you wish birdgirl, i will practice being nice, and will love alot more, we all just need to remember how precious life really is..

Im so sorry birdgirl, I lost my granfather to a long term illness last year too and its just horrible.

My condolences to you and your family.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Hello my friend,

Glad to hear the suffering has stopped and also sad for your loss. Take care and todays good Karma is for Bess.

Have a good one!:thumbsup:

Howdy birdgirl,

I'm so sad to hear of yer loss,our prayers are with you always !

You are so right to point out,that we need to tell our friends and family,that we do love them,while we still can..and to always look for ways to help those less fortunate and in need of a random act of kindness.

God bless yer sister and you and your's,and may He give y'all the strength and wisdom,to carry on. :) Amen

May you have a good one ...

I'm sorry that this has happened to your family birdgirl, I believe that she must be in a much better place now though. Good luck staying strong during such a painful time.

Hi Birdgirl - I am so sorry to hear about your sister...Hopefully your memories of her will comfort you a little...She is not gone, she will always be with you forever - in your heart. Take care....

Emily,
We knew it was coming. It doesnt make it easier. If i could go with my family all around, all the love she felt. You made the best of the worst, and you will be rewarded.

Rest in Peace Bess......You are in a Better place now. Im glad you are not suffering any longer.

Hang in there, chin up
Love
Adam

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by birdgirl73

Many of you whoâ??re familiar with me know that my familyâ??s been in the long, painful process of losing my older sister to ovarian cancer in recent months. Bess died very early this morning, surrounded by our family. She fought a courageous battle against her cancer for nearly five years, and her terminal condition only became clear within the last four months or so as the disease spread to her brain.

Itâ??s very hard for me to write about the type of person she was right now. But if youâ??ve ever known someone who was an ideal combination of spirit, beauty, and intelligence, that was Bess. She taught me as much or more about how to value life, respect others, and love from the bottom of my heart than any other person on this earth. She wasnâ??t just my older sister but also my oldest and best friend, my favorite role model, and my first â??teacher.â?� My parents say she was so delighted to find herself with a baby sister when she was 6 that she played school with me from the time my infant carrier could be propped upright. She was determined to knock some sense into my head, and she grew up to be a career teacher. Iâ??ve clearly grown up to be a perpetual student. Still a troublesome one, too.

Thanks and much love to the many of you whoâ??ve conveyed well wishes, prayers, and good thoughts over these last months as Iâ??ve been facing this. I apologize to others of you for whom this news comes as a surprise or who don't know me. It was often awkward at best to directly mention the fact that she was dying, and it was frequently a much-needed emotional break for me to simply come to the boards and play, discussing other subjects. It was Bessâ?? last rounds of chemo this past summer that led me to this site, looking for information regarding medical mj. Cannabis gave her some of the most pleasant, chemo-symptom-free time she had early last summer, and Iâ??ll never regret helping make that possible. The only thing I regretâ??and this makes me mad as heck when I think about itâ??is that we had to break the law to do so. That, to me, is the real crimeâ??that in our state and still far too many other states and countries, people who need medical cannabis are denied safe, legal access to it.

If youâ??re so inclined, hereâ??s a way you can honor my sister. Please tell your family or friends that you love them tonight. Then tell them again tomorrow. Then keep telling them that for the rest of your days. Practice random acts of kindness whenever you can. And work hard at being nice to other people. Some make this a very challenging thing to do, I know. But when you think about it, theyâ??re nearly always the ones who need our kindness far more than the ones who make it easy. These were lessons I learned from my sister Bess.

I may not be online very frequently during the next three days, but Iâ??ll check in when I can. Just as an FYI for the detectives among you, weâ??re not running any notices in the online Dallas-area news sites anytime soon, if ever. Weâ??ve been in touch personally with everyone who needs to know the details of her services, and this decision not only helps protect our privacy but also helps prevent us from being generously over-loved by my husbandâ??s very dear current and former patients, many of whom are senior citizens with limited means.

Take care, everyone. Much love and light to each of you and yours tonight.

---

"When it seems like the night will last forever
and there's nothing left to do but count the years
when the strings of your heart start to sever
and stones fall from your eyes, instead of tears"
rh
dai*ma:stoned:
This might sound strange, but when my wife died i found comfort watching leaves fall from trees:(

Hey Birdgirl, im so sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to lose someone thats not just who they are but so much more. Someone thats your confident, your friend, your role model your inspiration. I just hope you can find the strength you need to move on and remember your sister in a positive way, which im sure you'll do.

My thoughts are with you and your family

Peace

Chris

i'm so sorry for your loss, my sistah....but at the same time relieved....relieved that her long bout of suffering has ceased...finally she will know no more pain....and she is at the peace she has always deserved. its tough for those of us left behind...but knowing that the ones we hold dearest don't hurt anymore is what keeps us going.
my thoughts are with you

I too am sorry to hear about your loss.

peace be with you and yours

Hello, my Birdwife. I thought I'd sneak in here and surprise you. You left the house about an hour ago, and I was eager to see what you'd written here. Nice tribute to Bessie, honey. You have some very caring friends here, clearly.

Em, I love you so much and I'm so proud of how you've handled these last few months. Really this last year. You have to stop thanking me for "taking Bess into your home." Last time I checked, it was your home, too. Your family have been my family now for almost 24 years. Watching you take care of her in these last weeks and months has been like seeing you as a new mother all over again, so caring and gentle. You amaze me. You also worry me. You've been burning the candle at three or four ends for too long, and I'm worried about your own health right now. You're bone-dead tired and running on caffeine, nervous energy and little else. We need to talk about you resting more and eating more, too.

OK, Birdlove, that's what I wanted to say. Excellent tribute to Bess, babe. I remember hearing your mom tell those stories about her playing teacher with you as an infant. I would love to have seen that. See you this afternoon.

Dave you are a great Man...(looks Dave in Eye and shakes his Hand)

BG you got a keeper.....listen to him, time to take care of your self.


Tears running down my cheek....

My condolences. It's saddens me to see another loss to cancer, especially since I know how it feels to go through such pain, taken away from the people that love her and she loves. My prayers are with you, and stay healthy and celebrate your sister's life, I'm sure that's the way she would've wanted it.

Best wishes.

you are a good sister birdgirl
everyone should be so lucky to have someone like you

*HUGS*. I'm sorry. :(

That's how my mom passed away too...ovarian cancer. She was only 50 years old.

It'll take some time for pain to subside but it never goes away. Keep talking about your sister with your family, friends, and everyone. Keep the memory alive....don't let anyone forget who she was...including yourself because as time goes by, people forget the details...

Keep your head up birdgirl.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I wish your grieving process to be as painless as possible. At least she's no longer suffering. Eternal peace is with her, and I wish it be with you as well. No one should have to go through this, especially you. After reading your husband's post, I'm starting to worry about you. Take care of yourself, emotionally and physically, and remember we're all ALWAYS here for you, night or day. Thanks so much for being there for me with my dad (who actually just sent me his first letter from rehab). It means a lot to have people care, even if those people are millions of miles away. Words are a lot more powerful than what one might assume. Please, please, hang in there. Much love to you and yours. ~

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Dave Byrd

Hello, my Birdwife. I thought I'd sneak in here and surprise you. You left the house about an hour ago, and I was eager to see what you'd written here. Nice tribute to Bessie, honey. You have some very caring friends here, clearly.

Em, I love you so much and I'm so proud of how you've handled these last few months. Really this last year. You have to stop thanking me for "taking Bess into your home." Last time I checked, it was your home, too. Your family have been my family now for almost 24 years. Watching you take care of her in these last weeks and months has been like seeing you as a new mother all over again, so caring and gentle. You amaze me. You also worry me. You've been burning the candle at three or four ends for too long, and I'm worried about your own health right now. You're bone-dead tired and running on caffeine, nervous energy and little else. We need to talk about you resting more and eating more, too.

OK, Birdlove, that's what I wanted to say. Excellent tribute to Bess, babe. I remember hearing your mom tell those stories about her playing teacher with you as an infant. I would love to have seen that. See you this afternoon.

---

zay gezundt = BLESS YOU Dr. Dave. Birdgirl is so lucky to have a husband such as yourself. Please take care of her and her parents and aunt.....as I so know you will.

Love,
Kimby...aka Tootsie

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by friendowl

you are a good sister birdgirl
everyone should be so lucky to have someone like you

---

AMEN friendowl......AMEN!

very sorry to hear of your loss ... prayers for you and yours ...

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.






:source:http://www.businessballs.com/donotst...aveandweep.htm
That poem helped me a lot after my daddy died.:(

Ovarian cancer took my Mom and now it's trying to take my Sister in law,,,I know the road all to well...

pain and suffering is over for the deceased and we are left with our emotions and conscience... I have a sound conscience and I am sure you do too... emotions need time,,, god bless...