My nightmare in Amsterdam

Friday night. Stoned and drunk as usual. An acquaintance asks me if I want to go to Amsterdam, and he means right now. Sure, I said, right after I fuck your wife. But he was serious. He got in a taxi, and at four o'clock gave me a call. He tells me he's outside, the flights are booked, the credit cards are getting cold, the taxi-driver is getting sufficiently pissed off, and to get out of bed before he smokes this entire joint to himself.

Five am. We're outside the airport, caned and cold. I'm starting to feel the first worrying signs of a major hangover and sobriety is closing in fast. Is this guy actually going to take me to 'Dam? I've seen the receipt for the tickets, but my state of mind isn't allowing me to believe it. I feel like this until I'm sitting in the First Class seat of a plane going to London, drinking champaign and singing Comfortably Numb at the top of my voice. Man, I love that song - according to our stewerdess, nobody else does. Fascist.

The trip goes pretty well. I start reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on the plane, and from then on I can only think of my travelling companion as 'my attorney'. Shit, he might aswell be, I hardly know the guy and despite the car full of drugs, we're pretty much in the same boat... or plane. Just call me Raoul.

By the time we arrive at Schiphol airport, it's about midday. My sleep-deprived subconscious takes over and points in the direction of the deepest, darkest cafe we can find. Two Heinekens, fours shots of tequila, and an eighth of Jack Herer please, my good man. This is a new experience for me, and the whole chilled atmosphere is making me feel so good, I never wanted to leave. I wouldn't have, if I had been on my own.

A while later we were stumbling around the canals and inner-streets of Amsterdam, not caring where we were walking or what we walk in to, just another couple of tourists with too much money to spend and too many brain cells to fry. Alas, we ended up in the Red Light district. I freaked. All of these scantily clad women, staring out of every window, trying to entice us in.. it was all too much for me. Out comes a joint. Man that line of coke is starting to hit me big time (where did we even get coke from!?) and this Jack Herer is beatiful, 'my attorney' should be appreciating it too. I try to pass him the joint...

Umm. Where is he? Where the fuck is he? He was right next to me a second ago, everything was cool. Maybe he fell into one of these windows - will he ever come out again? I don't even know, this isn't what I need right now. I need to float around until I come back down, no more, no less.

It must have been the windows. Did he fall in? Or did something reach out and pull him in? Oh shit, again I feel like Raoul Duke and his Samoan friend, barely able to deal with a normal situation and blowinjg everything out of proportion. These windows are just windows! Get a grip!

I lean against a wall near the canal, feeling totally conspicious because of my bright red eyes and lost expression. Masses and masses of people are walking by, and every single one of them is looking at me. I know - somewhere in my mind I know - that they're just like me, enjoying this beautiful city and what it has to offer, but everything and everyone is feeling more and more hostile. The people on the streets aren't just looking at me, they're looking at me. Is it because I escaped the lure of the red windows when my friend didn't? I swear I didn't leave him, he left me! What was I supposed to do?

At that point I thought I hadn't moved much, just hung around not far from where my buddy left me, but in truth I had no idea where I was, no idea where to go. I spend another while just wandering around, stopping in at occasional cafes and enjoying my time, sure that everything will be okay in the end. By five in the afternoon I was feeling really anxious. I don't know if it was the weed, or the situation, but it just wasn't right. It took me an hour to find a taxi, but I got in one, and in my mumbling, gibberish, non-sensical way I command the taxi driver to take me to a hotel, and to treat this matter with utmost expediency!

A hotel? In 'Dam? Which hotel? He thinks they're all going to be fully booked, and until I give him the name of one, he won't move. Not worth his time, or mine, he says. Eventually I talk him out of kicking me back on to the street, and he makes a few phone calls to find me a room for the night. We drive around, but there are still no rooms.

By 10 o'clock that night, I've spent the last of the 100 Euros my friend gave me, and I have no way of withdrawing any cash or getting some more. I convince a taxi driver to take me to the airport, and thankfully he obliges, despite the 75 Euro fair.

The rest of my trip is spent walking around the airport, paranoid about the weed I have in my pocket, but still going outside for a joint every so often. I use a payphone to found my friend; he's wasted, in a hotel outside of 'Dam, and getting instructions out of him is practically impossible. I try ten times over the course of a few hours, but I'm still no closer to understanding where he is or what he thinks I'm supposed to do.

Fuck him. Fuck this. I feel like shit, I'm stoned, I'm tired, I'm hungry. I sit down, and carry on reading Fear and Loathing. At some point I fall asleep, and when I wake up it's five o'clock in the morning again, and a security guard is hovering over me with a big fuckin' automatic sub-machine gun flamethrower bazooka thing practically in my face. I go outside to smoke the last of a joint, hiding out of the way to avoid the cold and in the enquiring minds. Have I really smoked almost an eighth of this stuff on my own? I must have, there are only a few crumbs left. I throw them into the wind, deciding I'm not going to resolve this situation unless my brain returns to some kind of functioning state.

I rummage through my belongings and scrape together enough money for a strong coffee, and at 7am I head to the British Airways desk. A flight to Gatwick is leaving in a few minutes, and thanks to the quick work of the stewardess, I'm able to jump on it. From then on in it's nothing but champaigne and sleep.

A master of words ladies and gentlemen.

far out man, that was a good story.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hobbitsmoke

that was fucking epic

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True THAT. :thumbsup:

Thanks guys. True story, in case anyone thought otherwise. ;)

Oh man. Thanks for posting.
See, I'm always worried I'll do shit like that, because I've done it in the past. And I'm a parent now, so I have to be careful. Don't wanna lose my sweeties.

I really think it was the booze moreso than the smoke that fucked your weekend up.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Greenjeans

Oh man. Thanks for posting.
See, I'm always worried I'll do shit like that, because I've done it in the past. And I'm a parent now, so I have to be careful. Don't wanna lose my sweeties.

I really think it was the booze moreso than the smoke that fucked your weekend up.

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Probably. But the my 'travelling companion' was extremely inexperienced with weed. He's nearly 30, a teacher, and the last time he smoked before this weekend was.. a long time ago, apparantly. So it could have been both, but I think it was a mixture of it all. :p

Dude, thats intense. I hope me Amsterdam story doesnt turn out that scary...

well written story mate! K+

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jizzle Blizzle420

Dude, thats intense. I hope me Amsterdam story doesnt turn out that scary...

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Yeah no shit. Papi and I are planning to Do the Dam in '08. And we are both idiots. We'll probably both end up fucking midgets and apologizing for it later.

Thats Funny Stuff!! Made my mornin!!
I tell Grateful Dead Tour "War Stories" and people think,Naa,that shit only happens to the "Fabulous Furry Freak Bros" that can't be true! This just goes to prove that stoner escapades can happen to anyone,anytime!!

wow. crazy shit.

Thanks dude. I'm glad this is a cool story, it means I got to take one thing from the whole escapade. lol :)

did your friend make it back home?

That was an epic story man, id call bull if it was anyone aside from you.

Even if it is Amsterdam and you are a stoner I think any of us would be very freaked out to suddenly find ourself there and alone.

How did you get home? Did you have your return ticket or was the stewardess just nice enough to give you an empty seat?

Damnit man....i hate those cocky security guards with their mp5 submachine guns. I took a picture of one of them and they forced me to delete it, it was quite scary, i didn't know what the fuck i had done.:(

hilarious story dude...I'm hoping to get to Amsterdam someday and hopefully I can have half as much fun as you did!!

Thanks dudes!

Yeah, he got home alright, on the flight we were booked to take. It turned out that the reason we got seperated..... Well, I'm sure you can guess... The Red Light District and all of it's attractions were just too much for him to ignore. I don't even want to know how much cash he blew there.

Anyway, I just rocked up to the British Airways desk, told them I didn't have my ticket and that I was meant to be on a plane in 15 hours time, that I'm lost and have no money and can't contact the guy I'm with, and I guess she managed to put me on a flight right then because I was flying First Class.. smokinballer, I didn't have too much fun - at least not enough to outweigh the bull. lol

I loved that story. I never read long posts but I was pulled into it.

Yeah, it's the curse of posting long posts on a weed-dedicated site.. Nobody can be fucked to read or write.. I only managed to type all that because the weed I've got here is, well, in all honesty it's pretty weak and even after two bowls and half a joint I was still able to type. :p

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Keep on toking!

good story,, what happoned to him when you guys got seperated?? did he just wonder off??

lol, unlucky about the trip man. I'm always trying to get people to get on trains when i'm really pissed. "It'll be an adventure!"

Dude i really just got into that story.

I wantto know more!

That is a crazy story! At least you live closeby and its not necessarily a once in a lifetime trip. You're close enough to go back and do it up right w a real friend or two!

originalblu, he was twisted, and, well.. we were walking through the Red Light District.. and he had a whole stack of cash in his wallet.. and was in the middle of a break-up with his girlfriend.. It's pretty obvious where he got to (or got off to).. :p

BUZz, yeah this dude does the same thing, except this time somebody - ie GHoSToKeR - said yes, and did it. lol

ILikeSurfing, sorry buddy, there is no more.. I wish there was. And hey, I like surfing too. :)

TX Girl, Yeah, I guess you're right. If I had been the other side of the world, it would have been a hell of alot worse..

Thanks for your compliments and replies guys. Those of you who know me might have noticed that I haven't really posted here for quite a while, except every now and then.. I thought this was a good way to get back into posting again, by sharing this slightly bizarre story with you. I'm glad you're enjoying it. :)

Yay for crazy stories, that was pretty interesting to read, I can't wait til I get some cash saved up to visit there sometime.

I wish there was more out there like this, pretty cool shit.

Erowid Experience Vaults: Search Results

Some of these are pretty cool too, I've had enough time to read practically all of them, keep the stories comin'.

jaysus

damn definitely good story, really makes me hope that i dont end up doing that one day, i dunno what i would do... have you talked to the dude since?? i think you have.. but oh well... hey at least you had good smoke.. haha

damn thats one crazy ass trip

Amazing story dude, I love adventures but this one sounded massive and random as hell! Maybe if I had the money I would be able to do that...But losing the person your with in a different country when your fucked sounds extremely freaky. Next time stay away from the airport!

Damn good story.

Thanks guys.. Yeah, I've spoken to him since. He's in trouble with his girlfriend even more because he didn't tell her he was going away and bla, bla, bla.. Like you said, at least I got a good smoke out of it, and a good story to tell my fellow stoners! :)

Wow, that's one crazy story...

What a punk Ghost! I would've freaked if I were you! Good to see you posting again ma' man!

Peace

Buddy:stoned:

Gimme some love, Buddy! :p

Very good story, GHoSToKeR. I read it last night. Don't have much time to post a good response...or my 'Dam experiences...but I'll be back. Good story, again, man.


The Fog :rastasmoke:

Thanks TGF :)

TX Girl, in answer to your question in your rep comment thingy, I don't know, and if there are, I'm glad I didn't see any! lol :D

Sounds like an excellent time!

Of course this is me saying this, and I'm a wierdo.

I enjoy really wierd things, and I would have loved to be there.

Wow one hell of a story. To tell you the truth being with an aquaintance then being stoned/drunk and having him next to you one second then not the next I would loose it. Being alone in amsterdam with no idea of how the hell to get out or where to go would drive me insane. Where did you fly from? Thats reallyy spontaneous but hell i'd go in a heartbeat with a little less caution to the wind once I got there. Makes me a little more prepared for if I go with buds to never get split up.

u bastard ur hella lucky getting a spontanious trip to A DAM ur fucked im pissed thats my #1 dream in life naw im just jelous but good read man very good story next time if anyone gives u a free ticket get alot of scrilla