HELLLP Need To Stay Out of Jail!! Starving Yourself Cleans Fat Faster?

Hey everybody im on intensive probation. Which basically means, if i fail a piss test im going to jail. So i only quit like a week ago, I am about 145 5'7. I have only been eating like once a day this week, drinking tons of water, taking flush pills, niacin... Working out like crazy running, crunches, making myself sweat basically. I have a very fast metabolism... Last time I took a piss test I was only clean for 2 weeks and I didn't do anything and passed. My question is, what more can I do besides delay the piss test? My PO stopped by my house today to give me his business card and it says "call me". So I figured id wait a few days and say I found it in the yard since he stuck it in my door that I didn't answer. LOL I've already read all the stickys and alot of other threads on drug testing. I am going to try everything simultaneously I really don't give a fuck. All I'm wondering is whether its a myth or not what have you heard of to help? And what works the best? I don't think I can sub although I'm going to have that as backup cause they stand behind you. I've heard drinking a cap full of bleach a few hours before the test helps too? I am planning on quitting smoking for good now as I only have 5 months of probation to go.... But I have to pass this test to stay out of jail. Any and all help would be appreciated and in a timely manner would be nice! hahaha Thanks guys,
BG

Oh yea, also I heard that going to a sauna helps when you sweat? Sounds crazy but I don't know.

Well, THC is stored in fat, so by losing weight you have a better chance of passing in theory. How often did you smoke before you quit a week ago?

I smoked pretty much once or twice a day almost everyday, sometimes a day or two of sobriety in there. I tried to quit and it lasted like 4 days about 2 weeks before the week that I did quit. How long do you think I should try to wait before going in?

One session usually for me is like 5 - 10 bong rips of some like 2 seed in an ounce mids. LOL That's all the bud thats really around here.

There is no evidence to suggest that niacin helps you pass a drug test and an excess of niacin in your urine will cause you to take it again or fail, not to mention that you're damaging your liver if you take it in excess.

Also - Byrd Labs tests conclude that niacin doesn't work at all.