how to find out if your a true scot

you should only really read this if your from scotland otherwise itll be like reading a foreign language:wtf: give it a go anyway

Are you Scottish? You know you are a true Scot if...........

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan,
Milngavie,Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Strathaven, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer
blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories -
pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like
him,in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Chapel./Church

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n
chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer
pals.

19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these
words;

howzit hingin
clatty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye
wee beasties
erse bandit
amurny
away an bile yer heid
peely-wally
humphey backit
Ba'-heid
baw bag
dubble nugget

And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just > came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist
ma haun's ah'm heatin'. :rastasmoke:

HAHAHAHAHA
20. Ye knew wat the buisness end of the sheep was when ye were wee

I am sending this to my dad.
OMG.
MAy I just say for the record, a belated happy Burns Night... I went to a GREAT Burns Night celebration recently... due to board of health regs prohibiting the sale of 'variety meats' at restaurants in my area, they made the haggis for display only (the chef took the thing home with him, lucky bastard), and cooked 'lazy haggis' for the rest of us. Fuckers.

It's amazing how the boards can make the world seem so small and not so different after all.
Then a post like this comes along and I remember that there's a lot of members spread around the place.
Am I the only one who reads everyones posts with a native accent? When I read a post in my head its allways with an american accent.

Everything starts with "ye." It sounds very pirateish. :p

Ya mon! (I'm not jamaican)

I have a Scottish friend so some of those were funny to me...the list at the end though, I've only heard of Wee Beasties. It's like a drink or something right?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lagstronaut

I have a Scottish friend so some of those were funny to me...the list at the end though, I've only heard of Wee Beasties. It's like a drink or something right?

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correct, a very nice one too, quite fruity... and i particularly liked "Aufurfuksake" i say it all the time lol... translation: "oh for fuck sake"


lol after readin that i'm pretty sure i'm 100% scottish :D

but you missed one out, goin commando when yer wearin a kilt ;)

bluntblaze... far aboots ye fea pal? :D

Lol, I'm reading The Acid House by Irving Welsh atm, and it really taught me to read scottish, altough it can be a bitch, re-reading phrases where I just don't seem to know any words. And "aboot" always reminds me of South Park The Movie:p
But it is a cool dialect, and I'm pro language diversity..

:rastasmoke:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bluntblaze

you should only really read this if your from scotland otherwise itll be like reading a foreign language:wtf: give it a go anyway

Are you Scottish? You know you are a true Scot if...........

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan,
Milngavie,Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Strathaven, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer
blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories -
pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like
him,in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Chapel./Church

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n
chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer
pals.

19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these
words;

howzit hingin
clatty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye
wee beasties
erse bandit
amurny
away an bile yer heid
peely-wally
humphey backit
Ba'-heid
baw bag
dubble nugget

And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just > came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist
ma haun's ah'm heatin'. :rastasmoke:

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