A rhetorical question

Let's say you had a choice. You can live for perhaps 3-5 more years, flame out and most likely die, but at least those 3-5 years you can live normally, mentally and physically pain-free.

Or you have surgery, but you end up ejaculating backwards into your bladder, or possibly losing that ability for the rest of your life. Not fathering any children the old fashion way. You have to live with a huge scar that goes up from your pubic area to your upper abdominen, all those times working-out become pointless. Recovering from the hospital again, all the pain that will be faced. All this to remove some potentially cancerous tissue to make sure it doesn't come back. Not to mention all that time spent recovering.

If you could possibly imagine choosing between two hells, which would you pick?

I'm heavily considering opting out of surgery, and let nature take it's course. If you can't live to the fullest, why live?

i am sorry i cant be faced to come to some kind of answer to this, i dont even know how to respond. i love you thcbongman

Thank you for the love nikweiser. :)

It's a dilemma no one would want to face or think about because it's so detrimental to imagine. I'm just the unlucky one that does. I already been through hell, and done everything to overcome it. I worked myself back into shape, I'm almost back into the shape I was before I got cancer.. I just don't want to go through it again, and lose more than I have to gain. I can't live a sedentary lifestyle again. I simply can't. I want in the future to father a child normally, and not through artifical imsemination. Who the hell would want to cum backwards into your bladder, jesus. I'll be a freak of nature, and no woman with the right mind would ever want to settle down with me. I really suck at life :)

That's why just living 3-5 years as normal as I can be sounds great to me, even tho opting out of surgery is writing my death sentence.

Sorry for being such a downer, but I had to rant and be a little emo.

What about your family and friends?

My first thought would be that if you had that 3-5 years to pretty do whatever you wanted that it would not be enough time to build what you want which is fatherhood and family.

You mentioned not having children the "old fashioned way." How important to you is having children....any way? I'm not trying to be snotty here, I'm just trying to get an idea of where your priorities are in the scheme of things. You have children normally and perhaps share a year or two of their lives or....?

Then there is the matter of making each day worth living....you have already said you will not do the sedentary life again. I understand what you mean by that....minutes become hours and days when all you can do is barely slog through and it you are not even sure if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Have you spoken to people who have tried these choices and heard both sides of each option? No one really knows except those who have been there.

I wish you the best of luck.....and will be curious as to which option you choose. Take Care

PS I'm afraid I don't have an answer to your question.

Family of family in what terms? Do they want me to do surgery? They all want me to do surgery. No question about it. They're bias with their love for me and want me to live long as possible.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Weedhound

My first thought would be that if you had that 3-5 years to pretty do whatever you wanted that it would not be enough time to build what you want which is fatherhood and family.

You mentioned not having children the "old fashioned way." How important to you is having children....any way? I'm not trying to be snotty here, I'm just trying to get an idea of where your priorities are in the scheme of things. You have children normally and perhaps share a year or two of their lives or....?

Then there is the matter of making each day worth living....you have already said you will not do the sedentary life again. I understand what you mean by that....minutes become hours and days when all you can do is barely slog through and it you are not even sure if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Have you spoken to people who have tried these choices and heard both sides of each option? No one really knows except those who have been there.

I wish you the best of luck.....and will be curious as to which option you choose. Take Care

PS I'm afraid I don't have an answer to your question.

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Having children down the road is very important to me. I have a dynasty to continue as silly as it sounds. I'm number IV, it's something I have to continue. But I guess I can't do it either way, I can't be that selfish to die on them.

It's kinda like, you already been through hell once, you become helpless, you can't do things you enjoy. I'm past that, I can function the way I want to, I'm happy as I ever been, I love life. I don't want to change back to that period I want to forget. Chemotherapy was hell, I already lost 8 months of my life to this disease, just when you see the light, it's taken away again. Makes me want to cry, but I can't because I don't want to be weak.

The surgery is basically removing dead cancer tissue around my kidney. Very complex surgery that comes with a lot of risks, my urologist told me it's a necessity if I want to live in the long-run. I spoken to others, and read about what would happen if I didn't do surgery. Almost everyone in that situation got cancer again within 3-5 years.

And thank you for listening.

get right to work on having a kid now.. and you can still have that operation, and still father a child without having to artificially inseminate a girl.
then you have your child, and you dont have to worry about not being able to have one...

its just a thought i dont know if you have thought about it or if it contradicts anything... just trying to help out with what i can

That's not a bad idea...... :) I wish I was italian.

So based on what you have said there I am guessing you mean that those who have had the surgery only bought another couple of years and did not win the brass ring of "living the long run." Will this surgery give you the possibility of accomplishing this by itself or is it a procedure borne of complications that now need to be corrected? And how much of a betting man are you?

In regards to children---I will add one thing here that may or may not be interesting to you. I am an adopted child.....I couldn't tell you if I was born from AI, the virgin mother or whatever and it doesn't bother me really (of course I wonder but...) What does stick out in my mind is the parents who were there for me day after day as I was growing up; as is the family who loves you now and wants you around for a long time.

What I am seeing from your writing is that children etc is your ray of hope here. If you were to go the surgery route, and were able to have kids (lots of maybes in there) that type of future could go a long way against the day to day blackness.

To me the question comes back to this: How much of a betting man are you?

One last thing: yeah it's neat-o to be strong etc but your problems are there whether you are strong or weak. And sometimes, letting yourself be weak for awhile and using the support from others can help you be strong at times when you really need it.