question from a kid to the parents .. i need help

hey all ... alright this is probably going to be long so sorry. Me and my mother have never gotten along, i can not remeber a time in my life when we did. She has always made me feel unworthy and bad about myself.
We can't even be in the same room with out fighting ... i even moved out and lived with my grandparents and I felt so much less depressed and better but then my gmom had a heart attack and is not in final fases of heart failure so i cant live with them anymore.
So i want to know what I can do to get along better with her. I feel like i really hate her and she hates me, we constantly fight physically and she even has called the cops on me for hitting her although she hit me first. I think she is insane and my last shrink told me she was. I feel like our relationship can;t be fixed.
Although i feel like i hate her, the feeling of living with a woman who hates me and father who is around maybe 6 months out of the year is really starting to get to me. I have bad self esteem and living with her is just making it worse. I want to have a good mom i really do. I want to be a good daughter i get really jealous when i see friends who can actually tell there parents shit. I cant i cant even breathe around her.
What can i do to have a better relationship?
Thanks
:S5:

I had the same thing with my mom, then I told myself, the only way to make it work is to do everything she says and agree with everything she says.

As for feeling unworthy, confront her about it (its not going to be easy) and forget about her, the key word in self esteem is self, while others affect self esteem, only you can change it. Yes, I had a terrible self esteem, I thought about suicide many times in my life and still do, but I learned to love myself and got a higher self esttem.

good luck to both of ya:1baa: