Bullies!!!

My son is one of the sweetest kids EVER, and he had been getting picked on in school. Particularly during basket ball practice. Anyway, we sat down and talked about it the other night, and I told him that he needs to stand up for himself. I don't know if this was the right thing to do, but he took my advice, and got in a fight during practice today, err yesterday. My son said he won the fight, but I told him that winning and losing a fight doesn't really matter. I said what matters is you stood up for yourself, and didn't let some bully push you around. I told him I was proud of him because I know how scary some people seem, and it took a lot of courage to stand his ground. I think I'll take him out pizza and a movie next time he comes to see me. :D

Oh yeah, the two are friends now, lol! Go figure.. ..

Do you all think I did the right thing by telling him to stand his ground, or could/should I have handled it a different way? It all seemed to work out. I don't want to encourage violence, but bullies are a different breed, man. I think my son handled it the only way he could.


Junk~

You absolutely did the right thing Junkyard. Schools these days implement policies of total disempowerment, indoctrinating kids (including myself) with this bullshit idea that defending yourself is wrong and somehow worthy of punishment (ie. detention). I went through school getting bullied to hell. I was a small skinny kid, and an easy target. The asshole school policy makers kept telling me to seek help from teachers and counselors, who would just sit me and the bully down and make us shake hands after a touching conversation and be "best friends", at which point we'd leave the office and he'd say "I'm gonna fucking get you after school". That or they give out weak 2 day suspensions. Point is, kids these days aren't afraid of any consequence for their actions because there aren't any with all the legal restrictions. In fact I'd go so far as to say I agree with bringing back corporal punishment, just not used in the excessive amounts of back in the day.

Your kid learned a valuable lesson from you, that he can be an empowered and strong individual with self respect. Kids who are brainwashed into not defending themselves, not standing up for what's right against bullies, are the ones who get incredibly low self esteem, depression, anxiety, often turn to hard drugs, and every so often snap and go on a school shooting because it's the only way to stop being a victim that they know of. When I was in highschool I never would have gone on a school shooting, but I didn't have the mental image of an "evil" kid for shooting the place up, I could understand how daily torment could push someone to do that. There's only so much mental strain the brain can take before it breaks and defense mode goes into overdrive. We need every kid in the system who can prove that you don't have to be either a bully, or a victim.

Well, I thought I did the right thing. I'm glad you agree, bro. The school system won't do squat, and if I did what I wanted to do, I'd probably be in jail after punking out that kids dad, lol! :D

I remember when I was a kid, and it took me years before I finaly stood my ground, and after I got a taste, I was hooked. I don't want that to happen to my son, tho. I told him it's only o.k to fight when you're defending yourself. He said, " I know dad". He was soo happy, tho. He called me as soon as he got home from practice to tell me. He said "I hit him a couple times, but then he hit me back, so I picked him up and slamed him on the ground"

Do you think I should take him out for icecream, too? The kid deserves some props, man! Not for the fighting, but for being couragous enough to stand up against a bully.

ballin man nice call... everyone likes icecream

I think you did the right thing, too, and the ice cream's a nice touch as well. His ability to stand up for himself will come in handy as he matures, too.

One thing I hope you did, though, is also make the school aware of the bullying situation, even if the kids are now friends. Most decent schools these days have a pretty strong policy against that, and they need to know it's happening because chances are if the bully was bullying your kid, he's probably also bullying others, too. The kids who get bullied and don't stand up for themselves are at risk for later troubles, as is the bully himself. Mr. D's exactly right that the ones who fall into the perpetual victim role are the ones who can later snap and bring automatic weapons to school. I don't think you have to make a big deal of it. Just talk to the principal or the teachers and tell them you think they need to be aware of the problem in case it's an ongoing pattern.

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Originally Posted by birdgirl73

I think you did the right thing, too, and the ice cream's a nice touch as well. His ability to stand up for himself will come in handy as he matures, too.

One thing I hope you did, though, is also make the school aware of the bullying situation, even if the kids are now friends. Most decent schools these days have a pretty strong policy against that, and they need to know it's happening because chances are if the bully was bullying your kid, he's probably also bullying others, too. The kids who get bullied and don't stand up for themselves are at risk for later troubles, as is the bully himself. Mr. D's exactly right that the ones who fall into the perpetual victim role are the ones who can later snap and bring automatic weapons to school. I don't think you have to make a big deal of it. Just talk to the principal or the teachers and tell them you think they need to be aware of the problem in case it's an ongoing pattern.

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We sure did, lol! His stepfather, who is a great guy, gave the school officials hell after they called him about the fight. He told them that this kid has been bullying many of the kids on the BB team, and that he (My son) shouldn't get into trouble for defending himself. Which he didn't! Thank goodness, but even if he did it would have been worth it.

His stepfather is very much respected where they live; when he speaks, people tend listen. :thumbsup: My sons in good hands, and for that I am thankful.

btw, ice cream is now on the menue, lol! ;)

so, u say ur son's been getting bullied,
when i was younger i wasn't really a bully victim, but the people who i was trying to fit in with used to push me around and then by the time of grade 2-3 my parents bought my these 5 pound weights for christmas. The weights weren't much, only 5 pounds but i would lift those like 200 times a day until grade 5.

by that time i had the muscles to push just about anybody around, but instead of picking on people, i would help the victims who were getting picked on, and people realized that i would do this , and that year i doubled in popularity , and self esteem.:)

But when i was working out i couldnt stop running this image of myself being pushed to the ground by this guy at my school, and that anger is what gave me the energy to keep going and lift just about 200 times a day.

I say u buy him some 5 pound weights man, and show him the right way to use them so that hes doing the undersizes right, and then dont say anything about him using the weights that could embarrase him, just let him use the weights by himself with nobody staring at him, because if you say stuff about him working out it could easily discourage him.:D

my son love working out, man! But with very light weights. Those 5 pounders are gold for a kid his age. He actually works up a sweat, too. the kids no good at chin ups, but loves set ups, and push ups. He's a tough kid, man. He just has a gentle heart.. ..

Yeah you did the right thing man. You sound like a great dad and your son is lucky to have you looking out for him. :)

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Originally Posted by JunkYard

my son love working out, man! But with very light weights. Those 5 pounders are gold for a kid his age. He actually works up a sweat, too. the kids no good at chin ups, but loves set ups, and push ups. He's a tough kid, man. He just has a gentle heart.. ..

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yeah that sound like a solution to me. get him some 5 pounders