A Few Questions on Cooking

Alright I have a few questions so could you guys answer whatever ones you know?

1. Would microwaving a firecracker or leary biscuit work? It seems much faster and easier.

2.Does the microwave smell like weed after its been used?

3. How much should i use?

4. ANd is this all you have to do... Take a cracker put a piece of cheese on it, put finely ground grass on it, then put another piece of cheese on top and another cracker and put it in the microwave?

5. How long should i microwave it?

6. ANd finally does the quality of the weed matter, like could i use shitty weed or mids and get a nice high?

Thanks

anybody?