Application to become an illegal alien

Application to become an illegal alien

Courtesy of the Peter Boyles Show -- KHOW 630 AM -- Denver

Dear Elected Official,

As a native Coloradoan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

(and hopefully an illegal one)



:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Point proven STOP THINKING WHAT EVER THE USA GOVERNMENT Does is good.

Big Corp. is make big $$ off of illegal's, I wonder how much they make selling weapons to the Government.

This War is makeing alot of Money.

Stop and think for a min if you can.

So long Texas!
Hello Mexico
I’m gonna swim the Rio Grande
At El Paso


I’m leaving tonight
I ain’t gonna pack
I’m only takin’ the clothes
On my back


I’ll drive a rattletrap car
With no liability
I’ll demand equal rights
Though I’m there illegally


I’ll protest the streets
’Til they finally grant ’em
Sing English words
To their national anthem
Tiny Mix Tapes NEWS: Group Records Anti-Immigration Song About Moving to Mexico and Being Jerks; Record Played Constantly at the Vice Offices