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Alright now i know that this isn't true for all women and all men but it seems to me like when women have sex it makes them more attached to the man ... than it does the man to the woman ... why is this?
for me i think its because im fucked up in the head and i think that if i fuck a guy it will make him love me when all it really does is allow him to use me :mad:
what is that:o
---:jointsmile:
im getting smiles happy :D :rasta: :pimp: :rastasmoke: :stoned: :smokin:
I think this is all in your head... A one night stand is just that but,,, if you're needy and alone you tend to make it more than it is...Quote:
Originally Posted by gabee42ee
I think this is true because of hormones. Our bodies flood with feel-good hormones like seratonin and endorphins after sex, which make us feel really happy and thus very connected to our partner. It's completely a physical thing, and maybe women interpret these feelings differently than men, or maybe they are just stronger in women.
Do you truly feel that you think having sex with a guy will make him love you? Or do you just feel so connected to them after sex, that you have told yourself that to justify it. Regardless, having sex with a guy will not make him love you- and I am sure you know that. In fact, if you meet a guy that you really like (that you would consider having a relationship with), it is usually not wise to sleep with him the first time you meet him, because he may get the wrong idea about you (u sleep around).
Hope that answers some of ur Qs...
it is said that the job of the male is to spread his seed and the job of the female is to protect the offspring by any means possible. no this is not sexism, but a biological imperative passed down through countless generations of a species merely trying to survive and expand.
or it could just be that most women are looking for a free ride and most men are just looking for something warm to jump on.
your guess is as good as mine
Yeah, Dutch Lover and DelusionsofNormality above are both right. Women are built differently both hormally and evolutionarily. We're still the main nurturers and child-rearers in society, and our genes and hormones set us up to bond with a mate in a secure and lasting way so we can create an environment in which we can raise offspring successfully. The chief "bonding" hormone, and it bonds us both to our mates and to our babies, is called oxytocin. We release it when we have sex and when we give birth to and breast-feed babies. That's one of the chief ways we attach to both partners and to our babies.
Men secrete oxytocin, too, but not nearly to the degree women do. As Delusions alluded to above, guys' genetic destiny is to "pollenate" as many flowers as they can and spread their seed as widely as possible. In theory, the result of their dissemination is a greater likelihood of more offspring, stronger perpetuation of their genes. Anyway, it's that testosterone-driven urge to spread their seed that makes it a whole lot easier for them to have fast, emotionally disconnected hookups.
That's why, Gabee, it often pays to play hard-to-get when you're a female, assuming you want a lasting relationship. One of the things that keeps guys coming back is the chase, the pursuit. Once they've made their conquest, they're off on a different chase. If you meet someone and like him and let an actual relationship develop before you hit the sack with him, that'll give him a chance to develop the level of bonding he's capable of, and the fact that you're holding out on him will keep him engaged in the pursuit of you.
so does that mean that babies who werent breast feed are more likely to dislike their parents?Quote:
Originally Posted by birdgirl73
Not be a dick...but the solution is simple. Just don't have sex and you won't have to worry about this.Quote:
Originally Posted by gabee42ee
No, non-breast-fed babies aren't more likely to dislike their parents. Oxytocin is a hormone the mother secretes during labor-childbirth and nursing, and it's really what makes her bond to the baby rather than the other way around.
The baby bonds and attaches to the mom because she nurtures it, feeds it, cares for it, touches it, looks at it and talks to it, and she can do that either by breast- or bottle-feeding the baby. That's why babies attach to their caregivers, whether they be birth parents, adoptive parents, or even caregivers in orphanages. Babies' brains form these neural pathways as that feeding/nurturing is occuring that help reinforce their bonds to their moms/caretakers, but if mom is sick or, say, has bad post-partum depression or mental illness or is just not a hands-on, nurturing, attentive mom, the babies won't attach properly and that can indeed later result in disturbances between the child and its parents (and, for that matter, between the child and anyone else it later tries to have a relationship with). This bonding neural-development thing is why babies who are ignored and neglected in infancy fail to thrive and will not grow or develop properly through infancy.
wow BirdGirl your a smart Bird Girl
Thanks, Yahtzee. Really what it is is that I'm a med student (and a mother!). Both circumstances require a lot of reading about child-development and attachment and, for that matter, hormones.