Hungry

I keep walking into the kitchen to make summat to eat, but then I remember that I have no food, and have to walk back out again.

I've done this 5 times in the last half-an-hour!

Maybe I think that I'll find a food parcel on the table.
I'll have to go to the shop and get some food, but I'm waiting till the rushhour has died off...can't be doing with people littering the checkout, man...I wanna be in and out, at the maximum speed!

I wonder what I'll have for dinner...:rolleyes:..hmmm

There's a simple way of avoiding the checkout and that is to pay for your good's at the tobacco counter.

Just make sure there are no pentioners hanging about with lottery scrach card's!

lol, yeah, OAPs should be banned from public places where paying for something is involved..

"Yes dear, how much?...pardon, I'm a bit deaf....3shillings and a ha'penny?...can I pay in string?....I've got vouchers for 1p off, it's in my bag somewhere....I thought I put it in there.....how much was it again?.."

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
"I ONLY WANNA BUY THIS MARS BAR, AND I'VE BEEN STOOD HERE SO LONG, THAT I NEED ANOTHER SHAVE!!!"

Buying hairnets and food for yappy-type-dogs!!! Cuh!

There should be an alotted time for OAPs to go shopping....like, between the hours of 0200-0300...!!!
It'll keep them off the road, too!!!

"Come on you purple-haired, wrinkly!!!...It's 40 MILES per hour, not KILOMETERS!!!....I want to get home TODAY, not EVENTUALLY!!!"

Geez, I'm sure that they still think that the human body wil explode at speeds in excess of 30mph
Still looking for the red-flag man, I spose :rolleyes:...well, ya didn't run 'im over, love, geez, a slug could've crossed the road in safety at the speed you're doing!!!

Another good one for Tilde's anger thread!!;)

Kid's can be a nightmare in supermarket's too. I had 4 cases of beer in my trolly the other day and one came charging out from behind the checkout and slid across the floor on his knee's right infront of me. I would of hated so of seen the damage it would of done If i had run him over.

But yeah I hate to think how much of my life has been wasted by shuffling along behind oldie's. :eek:

Not to mention the fact that you'd have to wait aaages before you could open your tinnies, dude...all that shaking as you rumbled across the kids torso...man, upsetting the hops, init!

Ok, I'm getting steeled up to go on the "shopping trip"...a very apt title, I think :D...
I've got my coat on.....I've got exact change ready....I know the layout of the shop, so I can whisk in straight to the right place....I'm on basket detail, so no fiddling around with those fricking £1 coin trolley-release mechanisms....
Set to go!

:D :o :( :eek:...I'm very scared, what if one of the oldies tries to strike up a conversation with me about the Land Army :confused:....

Ok, I'll go..I'll go...
I'm going...

You should time yourself.

Geez!
I nearly forgot to put my "carrier-bag-separator" in my pocket....they make carrier bags out of the thinnest plastic that our imaginations can deal with...

"Do you need help packing, sir?"
"No, I'll be fine thanks.."

The goods start piling up at the end of the conveyor belt, because I'm still trying to open up the first bag!
CUH!

Why do they make things so hard!

Ok, start the stopwatch...eh? how can you start the stop...oh, never mind...OK<

HERE WE GO!!!!!!!

I'm starting it.................













NOW!!!!!!

Go Res GO

STOP THE CLOCK!!! I'M BACK!!!!

Phew, the shop was empty (except for food, obviously :rolleyes: ), I went round the place, and created little dust-devils with my speed of passing..lol....straight to the fidgey bit BANG..bacon...then to the bread bit BANG..rolls...then to the freezer bit..BANG..oven chips..then to the checkout..BANG..couldn't slow down quick enough to stop, and crashed into checkout...

"Are you in a rush, Sir?"
"Less talking, more beeping, sister..and chuck me some baccy and Rizla too!"

Paid the cash (substanial change from a tenner :D )..BANG...out the door quicker than a thing that rushes out of a door, whilst ignoring comments about the strange appearance of Platypuss piss aroma...

Coool
:cool: