Even the most expirienced stoners have moments were paranoia kicks in along with a stupid idea and plasters itself onto your thought proccess.
However, this one takes the cake in the number of weird shit my brain has scared itself with. I was walking home from my friends house after we smoked a gargantuan of weed in a short time. I mean, I'm talking everybody got two blunts for themselves, providing you could roll them. Basically, we had a lot of weed.
So, I had to walk home, it's maybe a ten minute walk, and somehow, I found the mental and physical prowress to get my motor functions in order and begin walking. I didn't get far before I realized I was robo-walking. "God I look retarded," I said to myself. My brain couldn't deal with thinking and walking at the same time and I stumbled as a large truck was passing me. I knew I looked pretty stupid so I turned around to watch the truck recede into the distance, why I do not know. However, the truck did nothing of the sort. Instead it stops. Now, in my obliterated state, I forgot there was a stop sign there at that intersection, though I pass by it everyday.
I figured the truck stopped because he had seen me stumble and though I was a lost retarded kid or something. Ironically, in less than two minutes an ambulance passes me. I figured they were gunna come help me, though it wouldn't do me much good to get carted off in an EMS stoned. They passed by, but I figured maybe they were just confused on who to pick up. I got to my street in short order and, well when fifteen red trucks pass you in a nieghborhood with a large amount of wannabe bloods, you tend to get a little antsy.
So I lost all control and sprinted for home. I made it inside without getting turned into a bullet sponge, but the fun didn't stop. Immediately I could have sworn I heard yelling outside. I figured it was either the cops or the truck guys or maybe even aliens. I figured they were going to seige my house and try and get me.
My grand plan for thwarting their efforts? Make a pizza of course. Fuck that, make that two pizzas. So after five minutes of looking like a crackhead at the microwave, holding a filet knife to fight the would-be house seigers medieval style, my pizza was down and i was munch out, still glancing out the windows like a dumbass.
I heard a noise at the door. Them again! Well this time I will face them in battle and smite them to defend my house and my pizza! I swiftly opened to door to slice and dice my many foes, and as the door creaks open.........
.................................................. ..............................
Gotta have some suspense here...........................
My cat runs in, looks at me like I have been professionally committing animal cruelty and runs over to the food bowl and begans eating like it's been in Ethiopia for about fifteen years.
I sighed and put the knife back and just layed down on the floor and went to sleep.
