Any females out there with advice on subbing with condom or such?

Hey gals, (and guys if you're reading this) :)
I need to try to come up with a way to sub while being observed. I failed my last test since I was prepared to sub, had bottle in vagina and good temp, but turned out the chick stood right in the room with me not 3 feet away and watched so I had to pee myself while desperately trying to keep the bottle from plopping down in the toilet!! Its easier for guys as they at least get to turn their backs but not us girls! So anyone tried a condom and somehow pricking it open? Does it bust or tend to slide out? Any other tricks anyone tried? I was given another chance but I am afraid I could never get clean, especially since I don't know when to expect it. Any help or advice anyone has would be really appreciated. Thanks!!

I have a friend who used the old condom in the vagina trick to get into the service. It does work, as far as temperature and everything goes, and it's easy to pop with your fingernails. As far as not being observed while doing it, well, thats all on you. Im not sure how normal it is for girls to play with their vaginas while they piss, but im guessing it'd look pretty suspicious. I always hate making this recommendation, but it sounds like you might be on probo, so im gonna say STOP SMOKING.

No I'm NOT on Probation!! I work for a place that has to send 'clients' to be tested to see if they are fit parents so of course I don't want to fail since I am supposed to be one of the 'good' guys. And I am a great parent, I just smoke weed sometimes. After my kids go to bed or if I get a sitter, which practically never happens. But I need to be clean and don't want to quit altogether as I may not even be retested. Isn't this supposed to be a pro weed site? Why would I be a bad person because I smoke weed? My job is keeping predators and junkies from destroying their kids lives for their own pleasure. I take great care of my kids, football and soccer mom, the whole bit. But I hate to drink yet need to relax before bed to deal with all the horrible shit I have to deal with at my job. I just want some advice please, no lectures on why I should not smoke weed. I feel its a natural gift from God not some crazy stuff psychos mix up that will kill you and destroy eveyone else who loves you. If pine trees got you high would they be illegal too?

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Originally Posted by sweetchild

No I'm NOT on Probation!! I work for a place that has to send 'clients' to be tested to see if they are fit parents so of course I don't want to fail since I am supposed to be one of the 'good' guys. And I am a great parent, I just smoke weed sometimes. After my kids go to bed or if I get a sitter, which practically never happens. But I need to be clean and don't want to quit altogether as I may not even be retested. Isn't this supposed to be a pro weed site? Why would I be a bad person because I smoke weed? My job is keeping predators and junkies from destroying their kids lives for their own pleasure. I take great care of my kids, football and soccer mom, the whole bit. But I hate to drink yet need to relax before bed to deal with all the horrible shit I have to deal with at my job. I just want some advice please, no lectures on why I should not smoke weed. I feel its a natural gift from God not some crazy stuff psychos mix up that will kill you and destroy eveyone else who loves you. If pine trees got you high would they be illegal too?

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Chill out. Noone questioned your mothering skills. Maybe you should take a break on smoking... Or smoke a whole lot more...
Your job sounds like it might make you insecure about marijuana usage. Don't worry about it. If anything, being relaxed and less stress-full will only make you a better mother.
The best way to get clean is to take a break.

they have drinks u know that right.....

I wouldn't recommed using the "detox" drinks. My fiance failed his test after using "Vale". He followed the directions exactly.. and never pay attention to the 200% money back guarantee because these products are not designed to help people pass drug tests so you will NEVER get your money back. I got lucky when I took my test, I drank a TON of water and took B vitamins. My test came up Negative-dilute through LabCorp. Luckily the boss at the job I was going for is a friend of mine and I didn't have to retest since he could state to his boss that my test was negative. Good Luck!!

Sorry to sound upset, I do feel as if the whole world looks down on those of us who choose to partake of some of Gods gift of ganja. Especially in the line of work I do. I tell you, I'd much rather be around a bunch of potheads than a bunch of drunks! Especially on the road! I have smoked just a toke or two, some resin actually I scraped from by bowl last weekend. I know I shouldn't have but I broke down, I was having a hell of a day. So I have not smoked anything in only a few days. Before that it was like maybe 5 tokes total ever since the 7th. So I have way cut down from my usual joint or so per day. It has been so tough, I've smoked weed since I was 20 pretty regularly and subbed when I have had to test, which was only 3 times before. Thats like 17 years! I am a good mom, especially to be a single mom of 3 with no help from their dad. It does get tough, thank God for my family or I don't know what I'd do. I did buy 5 cheap tests but used 3 when I tried to dilute but could not tell if they were pos or neg. So I have 2 left and I was trying to wait til I have been clean a little longer. I do mean it when I say thanks for all ya'lls help and words of wisdom. Just the support alone makes it better!
Yeah I do need to smoke a whole lot more, you got that right!:dance: