NEED HELP -- UPCOMING PHYSICAL (UPDATE!)

Well guys you will not believe this!

SO, I go to get my physical for the awesome new job I have been offered, and I have determined that even thru dilution--my piss was not comin clean (heavy user). Substitution was my only option. I own synthetic urine and the whizzinator but since this was a physical that was a no-go (although I COULD HAVE PULLED IT OF GIVEN WHAT HAPPENED).

If you need to pass a piss test go out and buy yourself a nice pair of boxers--seriously. I only wear Under Armour boxer briefs, and as I was pacing around my house days thinking about my drug test, I stumbled upon a marvelous idea. I noticed there is a large pocket in the crotch of the undies that is sealed off at the bottom that, when opened, will allow you to pull your jones out. All boxer breifs have these I think, its just very very effective for our purposes on the Under Armours. I then, opened the pouch and stuck a heating pad (Ace Heat Therapy) to the "ouside" of the flap and then dropped a condom full of clean pee between the heating pad and my body. To get the timing right, open the heating pad 30 minutes prior to filling the condom. Using this method the piss will reach 98-99 degrees in 45 mins or so. And it will stay steady.

So I get to the facility and there were tons of people there. I waited 2 hours before getting taken back. WTF! I was seriously getting worried cuz I had only tested the setup to the 2.5 hr mark and it was already 3.5 hrs. I told them I wanted to grab some gum from my car and went to check the temp. 99.8 degrees....nice, 15 seconds off the pack and it cools to 99 or so. So they finally call me up to fill out the paperwork, and then they are like "Oh wait, your aren't even doing a UA!" I WAS LIKE WTF! I said, "Are you sure? Thats really weird, its a pretty big company." :pimp: I was ready. "Nope they actually never have anyone do a UA when the send 'em to us, just a physical...." Me: "OK! :D "

Follow these instructions and pre-employment UA's won't be so scary.

PLAN FOR THE WORST AND HOPE FOR THE BEST! Be easy ya'll.....:stoned:

Lol. Glad to hear everything worked out. I think I would have asked what all was part of the physical beforehand to make sure I don't do what you did, but hell, it all worked out.

Now go get high without that guilty conscience!

hey i have a sports physical and i was wondering if they test for pot and if i could some today im fiending out please help