An adoption story to tell...

So this past week, I've been in Kansas visiting with my grandparents, brother, and a few aunts and uncles. Some may have seen that I mentioned my wife and I are trying to have a baby but adoption may be the final answer. I never was cool with adoption because on my fathers side of the family, the idea of 'blood' line is VERY strong. But, I a talk with my grandfather (on my maternal side) made a big difference:

My grandfather was born in South Carolina. His mother died shortly after birth and his father was an offshore fisherman. Subsequently, all the siblings were adopted and my pop-pop was moved to Florida. He was adopted when he was 4 and said how he loved his adoptive parents as if they were his own. They raised him on a farm and made sure that he was prepared for life as he got older.

As my pop-pop finished highschool, his father died and his mother fell ill. His mother had children from a previous marriage and her daughter and son-in-law came to help take care of her. Over time, my grandfather grew not to like his mothers other family. Eventually, he decided the best way he could help was financially, so he joined the Army.

While in the Army, my pop-pop travelled all over. He would take his military pay and send it back to his mother to help with her care and bills. All the while, he was just doing his thing in the Army. He came home on leave one day and visited his mother. His mother, deathly ill, gave him a check for $9,000!!! It was all the money he had been sending while he was away. She died shortly thereafter and my grandfather would eventually use that money to get married, settle down, build a family, and buy his first home.

The reason it hit me so hard was because I always wanted a 'blood' child and had the attitude that I didn't want to take care of someone elses problem. But lately, I realize there are so many kids that need to be adopted and so few who want to do it. I also didn't want to open myself up to be hurt by a child telling me that I'm not his father. But after talking to my grandpa, I realize that with all the love I have to give and all the things I could teach a child, all I would have to do is just do right by them and the love should come back in return.

So.................

1. If you are adopted, realize that you're loved.
2. If you've adopted a child in the past, realize you are one of the greatest human beings around.
3. If you don't like the idea of adoption, reread what I wrote...it can be a positive and moving experience!

Well said Big Calhoun! I'm adopted and I am so grateful to my parents! There are so many more important things than being related by "blood".

Peace!

Very well said, my friend... as an Adoptee, I can relate to what you said. I maintain a wonderful relationship with my adoptive parents, as well as my birthmother whom I found when I was 18. The best of luck to you, please keep us updated! :)

I'm planning on adopting when I get older. I we have enough fuckin' people on this planet and too many people without homes.

It was a hard thing for me to overcome. I think what also helped was that I was visiting my father and sisters last month in Alabama. My father and I talked and while his preference was to have a blood child, really, he just wants grandchildren and gave his 'blessing' (in his silent, country, unassuming manner) towards adoption. Talking with my grandfather just sealed the deal and of course the wife is absolutely thrilled that I've relented. But yeah, there are too many children that need homes, parents, love. Everyone should have the same opportunities to 'make it'.

Your a cool guy Big calhoun

I'm 17 years old, and I am also adopted. My birthmother was only 17 and still in higschool when she had me. Adoption is a wonderful thing.