Why did I start a thread to tell you this?

Ok, I did something today that just bears repeating to folks who would get a kick out of it. And, well, you guys are it.
Was it worth starting a thread for? You be the judge...

Well, I live in the country and I was out in the west meadow with the yard tractor picking up piles of dried grass with the pitch fork and tossing them in the trailer. Well being the guy I am I was bare foot for the latter part of the job. So Im pickin and tossin and pickin and tossin and get to a point where I need to go back a bit and get the tractor and bring it closer.
So, I drop the pitch fork and go hop on the bitch and drive her closer. Then I hop off the tractor and, yup you guessed it...right onto the friggin fork with my bare feet. yea thats a tad funny but not where the fiasco ends.

So Im standing with my bare foot impaled on a pitchfork for all of about half a second before my reflexes kick in.
Well, I reached down to pull it out of my foot since , well, it kinda hurts.
Right about the same time as one portion of my brain says "reach down and pull it out of your foot" another part says " lift your foot off of the damn fork!"
Well, instead of choosing one or the other the fuckin master control in my ol brain decided ' hey...lets do both!'
and in sudden reflex, I reached down to pull it out AND yanked my leg up and off it at the same time.
So, picture that for a moment. Actually, get off your arse and try it out for yourself. Reach down to your foot while you are quickly bringing your foot up at the same time.
If youre as coordinated as I was at that very moment you just might have the same results I did.

I managed to knee myself in the face pretty good. In fact the force of my head going down and my knee going up created just the right amount of force to knock me on my ass with my fukin right side of my jaw dislocated. Yea I laughed because it was a pretty dumbass thing to happen. It hurt like hell but not quite as much as it hurt forcing it back into joint.
I have had it dislocated before so I knew what to do and saved a trip to the dr.
Im glad because what would I have told him?

So, after I stopped laughing I drove up to the house to dress my foot wound and put on my boots. It hurts to laugh but I think Ill live.


Anyone else have any dumbass injury stories to share?:p

I was punching holes in sheet metal a while back... I was punching holes to accept screws with a scatch awl and a hammer... I hammered that awl right through my thumb...

Man, that sucks.

I once, layed atop a unstable set of mats only to take an expoused hurdle pole to the groin.

FunkyMunkey, damn that was funny! lol sorry i hope you are doing alright.

I was sitting on my bed once sewing and I had a razor blade on the bed the type with only one edge, and my daughter ran full speed and jumped on the bed and cut her leg...deep, 14 stitches, a month later she impaled her foot on a tootpick, you could see it pushing the skin on the top of her foot into a point, it was so well wedged between bones it had to come out the top, I was at the emergency room 2 for accidents in one month, was worried they would think I was torturing her or something lol.

there was an axe blade sticking out of a tree, with a metal part to it just big enough to use as a handle. i pull it out thinking i couldnt, so i figure ill just put it back in the tree. my left hand on the tree for some reason, i give it a little chop to put it back in, and partially amputated my left index finger.

In tenth grade, several friends and I were playing football, at a preschool, and I kicked the ball on the roof. My cousin volunteered to go up there, so we piled two picnic tables for him to get up, but, he was hesitant coming down. We stood on top of the table and jumped on it, saying, "See, Jeff, it's not gonna break."

From a squatting position, he took off, and, <CRASH>, his one leg breaks through the picnic table and the other didn't. Right after that, he got a kink in his neck. Afterwards, he was walking around school with a neckbrace and blood in his nuts.

wow....that sucks.

I dropped my pipe on my toe (actually tried to have my foot break the fall so it didnâ??t break when it hit the ground) but I had just taken a fat hit and a red hot coal fell out and burnt a nice little spot on my foot. Hurt like a bitch wearing socks for like a week.