Its All Gone, and Its All My Fault

Today was a really shitty day, and I was in a very shitty mood. So, I was pissed at my girl and I was pissed at everyone so I decided, "Fuck them, I'll cut my hair!" So I put it up in a ponytail and I sliced away with the scissors until the holder fell out and all my hair was in a pile in the sink.

I fucked up 4 years of dedication just because I was pissed at people and I'm impulsive. I'm so depressed now, I've been crying and I know, I KNOW that so many out there are asking yourselves why I'm crying over hair. I look so terrible with short hair. Everyone, EVERYONE told me how I should never cut it and how I look so much better with long hair, and everyone loved my hair. I got voted best hair in high school and girls wanted locks of it. It was beautiful. But now its gone, and its all my fault. God, I dont' know what to do. The worst part about it is, I actually made her cry because it was gone. God, I wish I could go back.

Even weed isn't making this better. I have a 4 and a half gram sack here of some dang good weed I got from a friend for 10 bucks, but I don't even feel like smoking any of it. Just like I'm hungry, but I have no desire to eat at all.

Sorry, this is just a useless journal thread I guess, just sucks....:( :(

Wow, that sucks. Sounds like you had some pretty good damn hair. Ah well, eventually it'll grow back. Just smoke some and watch one of your favorite movies and try to put the past behind you for a min and feel great. It always works for me...especially when I have some good shit and not the dirt weed I have now! :mad:

i want some pictures, dude

sorry you feel so bad! all you can do now is get on with you life and let it grow back. it certainly isnt the end of the world!

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Originally Posted by Gothen

Sorry, this is just a useless journal thread I guess, just sucks....:( :(

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Not at all, we all need to let out the things that eat at us sometimes.

All I can recommend is for you to recognize that clinging is one of the two causes of suffering (the other being aversion), and that clinging to what's now gone can only cause pain. Don't think of what should or shouldn't be, only what is and what you can do with it. Focus on letting go, even of that which you love most, because a focus on wanting what you can't have only increases the suffering.

Everything is impermanent, including your hair, and including the hair you now have... it will grow back! :)

give it a few months , it'll be okay again. i promise!

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Originally Posted by Billionfold

I get pissed sometimes too. I want to hit shit when I get pissed. I've trained myself to bite my hand if I get too pissed. Calms me down a smidge.

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I do the same thing. I usually gnaw on my knuckles and try not to hit things.. I've f*ed up my wrist so many times...

i dont think Inferius was talking about cutting his wrists, just hurting them when he punches things?!?!

The first one is before, the second after. Thanks for all the replies, guys. Everyone is telling me the same thing, just wait...give it a couple years...it'll be back the way it was.

Mr. Devious' post made me cry but it really makes sense. I know how sad it is though, I'm crying like I've lost my best friend....

Well it's not all that bad, plus I like that poster on the wall with those women lol.