Late Night TV

I work 3rd shift and I'm up all night on the weekends and nothing to do but watch TV.
Why is there nothing but Paid Advertisements on Late Night?

I love the whole sales style.
You always have the smart guy and the Dumb Ass Mother Fucker (D.A.M.F.)
One guy knows all about the product and the D.A.M.F doesn't know what the hells going on.
Then the D.A.M.F has to say,"Hey Joe whatcha doin"?

Then Joe says "I'm just frying an egg"

D.A.M.F: Yeah? You putting butter in the pan?

Joe: No I'm not using butter in this pan!

D.A.M.F: Wait a minute! Let me get this straight your frying an egg in a pan and your not using any butter?Won't it stick to the bottom of the pan?

Joe: Not this Pan!

D.A.M.F: Hold on a minute.Let me make sure I got all the information.
Your going to fry an egg in a pan your not going to use butter and its not going to stick?
WELL I GOT TO SEE THIS.

What really annoy's me is this D.A.M.F is supposed to be asking the questions I'll have at home.Like I don't get it how does it work?

The guys a D.A.M.F and you can tell him anything.

Joe: You know what it's a really strong pan I'm going to demonstrate now by smashing you in the face with it.

D.A.M.F: Wait a minute.Your going to take that pan and smash me in the face with it?

Joe: Yeah then I'm going to bend you over that stool and shove it up your ass.

D.A.M.F: Well won't the handle break??

Joe: Not with this pan.

D.A.M.F:So your telling me your going to take that pan ,your going to smash me in the face,your going to bend me over that stool and shove it up my ass and the handle is not going to break off???
THIS I GOT TO SEE!!!!

lol that is creepy cause I dont sleep at night and I just asked my grandmother the same question this morning around 4:30...but I todally agree with you man info-mercials suck

what about all of us with insomnia? sigh* this country and its messed up traditions....

Rofl, that was really funny.

"Joe: Not with this pan."

Haha, that's classic.

lol, I used to stay up half the night watching infomercials.
it was kind of weird, but most of the products were interesting.
I've seen that one with chuck norris and that other chick for bowflex about 12 times I swear.
I'm glad I don't watch them anymore, but jesus, thinking back now, that was just a WEIRD thing of mine.

Dude, I always watch the religious ones. Those are hilarious. They try to convince you that the more money you give them, the more God will love you. Like they're homies with Jesus or something. Some people actually believe that a prayer handkerchief will get them into heaven.

One time the guy was all intense, saying "If I could, I would come into your home right now... And I'd touch you," he pauses a little too long, making it even creepier, "and I'll say 'Lord, blah blah blah!"
It was the funniest thing I've ever seen, that guy wanted to come into my house and TOUCH ME.

My favorite is the Quick Chopper. It mixes, it processes, it blends & it spinsâ?¦

ANDâ?¦ if you order NOWâ?¦ not only will you get the Quick Chopper, you will get a free Spanish recipe book.

¡Ahora que es un buen bargin!

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"This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one fucking complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be a bitch. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. Good luck, fucker. The last payment must be made in wampum!"
- Mitch Hedberg

The last 3 0ut of 4 payments are not easy payments once you get the piece of crap and realize you were ripped off.And it wasen't worth the first 19.95 ya sent them.