My sister forwarded me this e-mail, it contains true stories submitted by different people, so I thought I'd share.
>Think before you speak...Here are six reasons why you should think before
>you speak -the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you
>could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a
>hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
>
>
>FIRST TESTIMONY:
>I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked
>loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned
>around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a
>word...he knew better.
>
>
>SECOND TESTIMONY:
>I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
>unhappy with the womens type I had been using. After browsing for several
>minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at
>the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him
>and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
>
>THIRD TESTIMONY:
> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
>of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind
>the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking
>at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned,
>and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never
>let me forget.
>
> FOURTH
>TESTIMONY:
>While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
>some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of
>her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
>I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
>punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just
>as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
>that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
>deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what
>they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the
>bank with my daughter in tow.The last thing I heard when the door closed
>behind me, were screams of laughter.
>
>
>FIFTH TESTIMONY:
>Have you ever asked your child
>a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with
>potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell
>for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining
>room.While enjoying my taco,
>I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old
>daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty
>in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept
>thinking
> "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
>with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
> "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because
>the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you
>have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
> bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
> While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
>pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better,
>thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>
>LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
>This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
>embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
>before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We
>had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed
>and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8
>inches you promised me last night?"
> Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they
>were laughing so hard!
- And to add my own story, when I was 7 years old mom took me to the hair dressors. During my haircut she had wetted my hair a lot, and I didn't much care for that, so I asked her "Once you're done, could I have a blowjob?" (meaning blow-dryer). She had the most shocked look on her face, my sister and mom were laughing really hard, and I had no idea why:D .
share you stories too if you have any!
