part two lol !!!!!!

:::::::::: Complete List ::::::::::
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
Although you seem content, you also seem quite alone over here. Can I interrupt your reverie?
(Approach a group of women) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
Are my undies showing? ["No."] "Would you like them to?"
Are those fuck me eyes, or fuck you eyes?
Are those Guess jeans? 'Cause guess who wants to get into 'em.
Are those space pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world.
Are we related? Do you want to be?
Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
Are you a bird collector? 'Cause you've got a nice set of hooters.
Are you a farmer? No, 'cuz you sure know how to raise a cock.
Are you a horse? (No) Can I ride you anyway?
Are you a lumberjack? Because you just gave me wood!
Are you a Pokemon?? Cuz i'd sure like to pikachu!!
Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
Are you an Emerson? Because emmerson are some nice tits!
Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
Are you cold? You should be; you've been naked in my mind all night.
Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
Are you cold? Let me be your electric blanket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
Are you free tonight or am I gonna have to pay?
Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
Are you in to Casual Sex or should I dress up?
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
Are your knees dirty? I don't want to get my floor dirty.
Aren't you the girl/guy who is having sex with that really good looking guy/girl? (No.) Want to be?
As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
At the dinner table, (if you eat together) pick up the bread and say, "Wanna roll?"
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
Baby you're a sex crime waiting to happen.
Baby, I wanna take my extention cord and stick it all the way into your
electrical outlet.
Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a "Do-It-Yourself
Shop".
Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
Baby, you're like a championship bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
Baby... wanna come for a ride?
Believe it or not, gettin' laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.
Boy, it sure is hot and stuffy in here. Would you like to take a cold shower?
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
Can I please be your slave tonight?
Can I see your tan lines?
Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
Can you believe it? It's been more than fifteen minutes since I've had sex.
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
Can you help me find my puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
Clothes look heavy on ya, want me to relieve some!!!
Come back to my place so I can give you a lovely parting gift.
Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?
Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
Damn, I thought "Very-Fine" only came in a bottle!
Darn girl you even look good with the lights on!
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
Did you know that the word 'motel' spelled backwards means 'letom'?
Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? {Wait for answer}
"Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more?"
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
Didn't I do your sister?
Dinner first? No? Hey, if we're gonna have sex I gotta eat!
Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to.
Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
Do you believe in free love? (Certainly no!) Then how much do you cost?
Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
Do you have a beard on your pussy/asshole? (No.) Want one?
Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? She will say, "Why?" You will reply,
"Cause I could see myself in your pants.
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
Do you have any Irish in you? (if no.) Would you like some? (if yes.) Want some more?
Do you have any tacos on you? (No.) In that case, will you make out with me?
Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
Do you know anything about real estate? (Grab crotch or breasts) I was just
wondering if you could tell me if this is a lot.
Do you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?
Wanna find out?
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you want to go upstairs and talk?
Do you know what part of the tongue registers the "salty taste? Why don't you blow me and find out?
Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
Do you like blueberries or strawberries, 'cause I want to know what kind of pancakes to order in the morning.
Do you like cheesy lines or do you just want to do it?
Do you like chicken? Suck this, it's pretty foul!
Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
Do you like chips? Because if you are frito lay than I am a barrel of fun!
Do you like clocks? (if yes) put two hands and a face on this. (pointing
down)
Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck my dick, it's a gem.
Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic
meat wand.
Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better
against your forehead!
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
Do you like Stove Top stuffing? Great, you can stuff me on your stove top
anytime.
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.
Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
Do you take it up the ass?
Do you think a relationship between you and I would be all sex, or do you think that there would be some depth to it?
Do you wanna box? [Yes.] Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two
blows to the head.
Do you wanna lick my tongue?
Do you want a worm-do? (Whats a worm do?) It does this..(Move your finger like a worm~~~~~~)
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
Do you want to see something swell?
Do you want to see the soles of your feet in the wing mirrors in my car?
Do you wash your pants in Windex because I can see myself in them.
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
Don't you think most people who use pickup lines are dipsticks? (Yup) In
that case, mind if I check your oil level?
Don't sweat the petty things... pet the sweaty things!
Don't worry, I don't get emotionally involved. It's just physical.
Erections like these don't grow on trees you know.
Ever slept in a $5000 bed? Want to?
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms? (sure to get responses)
Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby.
Excuse me M'am, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grab her ass)
Excuse me, are you ready to go home yet?
Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
Excuse me, but I have the mother load and was wondering if you had a place
to put it?
Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I
check?
Excuse me, but I think that you are too drunk to drive. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? [Does it] Next, I need for you to bend over and spell
"RUN".
Excuse me, but I'm freeballing, can I borrow your underwear?
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" Woman: "What's that?" You:
This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight.
Excuse me, but you have a "dick for" on your head. [What's a "dick for"?]
I'll show you.
Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild
Blocost?) How much do ya got?
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
Excuse me, do you believe in one night stands?
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with
the face.
Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me? See, I'm trying to find
someone. (Who?) Any girl/guy who'll sleep with me.
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
Excuse me, is it true that you're a sexual tyrannosaurus?
Excuse me, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?
Excuse me, I've seem to have lost my virginity, can I have yours?
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and
one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick. And if I don't get one soon, they won't let me pledge...
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
Excuse me. I seem to have misplaced my willy-warmer. Do you mind if I try you on for size?
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to
have to ask you to assume the position.
Excuse me.....Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and
I was wondering if I could interview you...
F*** playing doctor do you want to play gynocologist??
Fancy a fuck?
First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
Forget that, playing doctors is for kids, lets play gynecologist.
Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here, get 'em while they're hot!
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
Fuck me if i'm wrong but isn't your name Gretchen?.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
Fuck me, I'm beautiful enough to be with you all night.
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
Girl, if you were a porch I'd take out all the nails and screw ya.
Girls are sexy, guys are fine I'll be your six if you'll be my nine!
Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?"
She says no. Then wink.
Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck...
(wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?
Got a soggy bun for a lonely weenie?
[Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
Guess what?! I've got an 8" tongue and I can breath out of my ears!
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are
the same size.
Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.
Have sex with me and I promise never to talk to you again!
Have you ever been hunting before? (No.) Well then how about you come up to
my cabin with me this weekend and I can teach you how to stuff a beaver.
Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we'll see what rises.
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try?
Have you ever played leap frog naked??
Have you ever wondered what a vaginal blood fart smelt like?(No) Cool....me
neither.
Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?
He: Hi, what's the color of your hair? She: (tells him) He: And the hair on your head?
He: Would you sleep with me for 20 million dollars? She (sheepishly): Yes.
He: Well then, would you sleep with me for 20 cents? She: No, what kind of woman do you think I am? He: We've established what kind of woman that you are, we're just haggling over the price.
Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?
Hello, love, do you spit or swallow?
Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
Hey , I'm the cable guy, my only policy is that if I hook your cable up, you
have to hook mine up!
Hey babe- pretend my pants is France and invade them.
Hey babe! Did you hear about the guy and the girl who talked together at the
dance? Well...Let me read you the story tonight when I tuck us into bed!
Hey babe, do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? (after she slaps you or leaves) HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?!?!!
Hey babe, wanna sample my DNA?
Hey baby, are you like Sprite because you make me want to obey my thirst.
Hey baby, I'd like to herd by cattle in your fertile valley.
Hey baby, I'll fuck you so hard the neighbors will be having a cigarette when we're done.
Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?
Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves
ahead, yield?
Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Hey Baby, you want to come to my house and work on your math skills? We can add the bed, subtract the cloths, divide the legs and multiply!
Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.
Hey baby. Why don't you come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up?
Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
Hey baby...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
Hey baby...can you suck start a Harley?
Hey baby...can you suck the chrome off a bumper?
Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
Hey I see your wearing clothes, I'm wearing clothes, you know we have something in common we should get together and do something sometime.
Hey so you want to see some magic? You and I will go to your place have sex and I'll disappear in the morning.
Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
Hey, are you hiring? I really need a blowjob, but I'll take ...
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
Hey, do you exercise? Can I be your thighmaster?
Hey, my seamen has the SPF of 30, care to rub some on your face?
Hey, you've got a lawyer's ass. Yip, it's firm.
Hey. Do you have that Hawiian Disease? What? "Comeoniwannalayya".
Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis?
Hi my name is _______, remember it, cause you'll be screaming it all night
long.
Hi, do you dissect insects for scientific research? (No, why?) I thought you
might want to look inside my fly.
Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?
Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front? --- 0
Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
Hi, I'm a representative for Joe Boxer. I'm doing a survey on which brand
guys prefer leaving in the corner of the room while having wild sex.
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far.
Can you give me a tour of your body? 4 1
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
Hi, my name is ______________. I eat pussy like a woman.
Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?
Hi, my name's ______________. You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!
Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I
have a line...
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Hi. I'm horny.
Hi. You'll do.
Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."
How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat!
How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
How do you like your eggs cooked? [Why?] Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
Hypothetically speaking, if I were to fuck you, would you let me?
I am participating in the Sexual Olympics multiple orgasm relay race my partner just died of exhaustion. Would you like to help me out?
I am writing a new algorithm, and I need some test data. What are your measurements?
I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue.
I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this
cheap motel room.
I cum in 5 seconds, you won't even know I was there.
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I enjoy doing maintenance, you look like someone I would like to tinker" around with.
I got a 14 inch cock, why don't you come home with me and I'll let you ride
it.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?
I had your sister last year, she sucked. Wanna defend your family honor?
I have a 13 inch dick. Remember that, there will be an oral exam later.
I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
I have a job for you.... but it blows
I have an oral fixation with giving oral gratification. If you are willing to receive I am more than willing to give.
I have some hard code I want to try your compiler on.
I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
I know I can't have your cherry, but can I get the box it came in?
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
I lost my rubber duckie. Would you bathe with me instead?
I lost my teddy bear can i sleep with you tonight?
I love baseball so take me home baby!
I love every bone in your body - especially mine
I love you, I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock!
I miss my teddy bear, would you sleep with me?
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?
I think I could fall madly in bed with you..
I think I love you but I can't be sure until I kiss you...
I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings?
I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands.
Let's just fuck.
I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
I wanna use your thighs as earmuffs.
I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
I want to write a poem on your body with my lips
I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..
I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks
like somebody beat me to it.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!
I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it.
I'd drag my balls through a mile of broken glass, followed by a mile of hot coals, just to chase a laundry truck that MIGHT have your dirty underwear on
board.
I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.
I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to
it.
I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that
thing you do with your tongue.
If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer:
"Yeah! Do you have the energy?"
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
If I followed you home would you keep me?
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you throw it on top of me?
If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inches.
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No.) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
If I were a carpenter and you were a porch. I'd take out all your nails and
screw ya!
If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?
If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to
this question?
If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart.
I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna fuck you.
If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them.
If you talk to me, I'll fuck you.
If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.
If you were a car, I'd wax you and ride you all over town.
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
If you were camping and woke up with a used condom inside you, would you
tell anyone? (No) Wanna go Camping?
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could
do it in public.
If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
I'll bet you $10 my dick can't fit into your mouth.
I'll make you shiver when I deliver.
I'll marry you tomorrow, but let's honeymoon tonight.
I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you
seen one?
I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
I'm a starving artist and I want to eat you.
I'm a used car but you can still drive me!
I'm an army recruiter. Why don't you come over to my place and "be all you can be."
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first
participant?
I'm easy. Are you?
I'm either going home with you or behind you, take your pick.
I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
I'm hard. You wet?
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
I'm leaving this place ... want to cum?
I'm like a power plant. It's hard to turn me down and I can turn you on
I'm like chocolate: I go straight to your ass!
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
I'm not an expert in hardware, but I know that you'd be able to screw my nuts off.
I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
I'm not trying to pressure you. I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
I'm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room & test out all of my condoms?
I'm the doctor of love baby and you're over due for your meat injection!
I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.
Is it cold or are you just smuggling tic-tac's?
Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.
Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
Is your dad a farmer? (No, why?) Because you got some melons.
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
It's a new world order. Have your way with me.
It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean.
I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
I've got a condom with your name on it.
I've got a great big cock!
I've got a hummer and a vibrator. Which one do you want to test drive first?
I've got an alarm clock that makes the best sound in the morning. Would you like to come and hear it?
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.
Just where do those legs of yours end?
Kissing is a language of love....so how about a conversation?
Last night, a little leprechaun came up to me and told me that if you don't
have sex with me tonight, your(or my) dick is going to fall off. We don't want that now do we?
(Leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
Let's face it. I'm hot, you're hot and we both know you got a crush on me.
And really, who can blame you with a gorgeous face like this. So can I snatch a kiss or vice-versa (that is kiss a snatch).
Let's go fuck in a brand new limo.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
Let's go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy.
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
Let's make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look!
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
Let's play hockey. I"ll be the net, and you can score.
Lets play titanic youll be the ocean and ill go down on you
Lets skip all the bull-shit lose our inhibitions and DO what we really came here to do.
Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say,
"Let's you and me get out of these wet clothes."
Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "Fuck it".
Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.
Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.
(Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?
Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
Love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
May I end this sentence with a proposition?
May i pleasure you with my tongue?
Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.
Mines bigger than his want proof?
Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?.
Mmmm, you bring new meaning to the word "edible".
Motion for girl to come here with one finger), "If I can make you come with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!"
My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling.
My bologna has a first name...
My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.
My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
My friend and I made a bet and I need to check if those are implants.
My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going....
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
My mattress is a little hard. Would you like to help me break it in?
My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome.
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
My name's Pogo, d'ya wanna jump on my stick?
My place.....Eight o'clock......bring a friend.
My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.
Nice fucking weather. Want to?
Nice legs, lets eat out.
Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
Nice tits, mind if i feel them?.
OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing.
Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
Oh, yeah, [band name] is really great. . . I have all their rare stuff. You can come over to my place and tape it all if you want.
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
Perhaps you recognize me from one of the popular adult movies I was in.
Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.
Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.
(Put out hand) Give me five. (after they give you five, leave your hand up)
Give me elbow. (after they give you elbow, leave your hand up) Give me shoulder. (after they give you shoulder, leave your hand up) Give me nose. (after they give you nose, leave your hand up) Give me head.
Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw.
Save water, shower with a friend!
Say, that's a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I talk you out of it?
Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of the penis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just
over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not
let me help out?
Sex is a killer ... want to die happy?.
Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let's begin.
Show me your pussy!
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
So long as we're in the theater....why don't we get some play?
So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
So, I see you eat with utensils. Well, I've got one that I'm just dying to put in your drawers.
So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
So, what are the chances of my balls slappin' your ass tonight?
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
(Stare at her until she says "What!?!") It isn't just gonna suck itself.
Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?
[Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
Tell me how my cum tastes.
Thanks for the blow job last night. (What blow job? I didn't give you one.)
You didn't? You owe me one.
That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd becoming too!
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
That's a nice shirt, can I take you out of it?
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
That's a nice smile. It'd look better if it was all you were wearing!
The best part of me is covered up.
The drink: $6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.
The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.
The Lord gave us the power to fuck. So, let's go have sex!
The most common pickup line used in a gay bar: May I push in your stool?
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
They say a girls best friend are her legs. But even the best of friends sometimes have to part.
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.
This Valentine's Day, I really want you to know how I feel.....So you better use both hands.
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like
to catch and mount back at my place.
Try me once and if you don't like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It'd be more if you want foreplay.
Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural
log?
Use index finger to call someone over then say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."
WAIT, don't drink that. Don't you know that makes your chest grow to twice its normal size? Oh, I'm sorry. I guess it's too late.
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
Wanna fuck, or should I call my lawyer?
Wanna get down with me like four flat tires?
Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long!
Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
Want to play lion? (She asks, "What's that?") That's where you get down on all fours and growl like a lion while I feed you the meat!
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
Was your dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
Was your father a welder? No, why? Because those sure are acetylene tits!
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
We'll probably never see each other again, so let's screw.
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
What are you doing tonight beside me?
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
What color is your shit?
What do I have to do to be your booty call?
What do you like for breakfast?
What do you think of Bill Clinton? (Answer...) Yeah, me too, but I try not to follow that stuff regarding Bill, Hilliary, or Monica. Want a cigar?
What has 58 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper
What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
What is long and hard, and right behind you?
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??
What's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ.
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
When she asks, for a match. How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
Where's your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head.
(Excuse me?) It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon find out.
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
Will you marry me for just one night?
(Wiping your face), Oh I'm sorry, (wiping your face), let me clear a place for you to sit!
With one touch I can make you make noise only dogs can hear!
Woman to Man: Did you just grab my ass? No? Well you can if you want too!.
Woman to Man: I'll give you a nickel if I can tickle your pickle....
Woman to Man: Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life.
Woman to Man: You know how I am with dicks? I suck at it.
Woman to Man: Do you train cats? (Man: No, why?) Woman: Because you just
made my pussy cum!
Woman to Man: Either my eyes need checking or you're the best looking guy I've seen all week.
Woman to Man: Hi, I'm a taudry slut looking for a good time
Woman to Man: If you're naughty go to your room. If you wanna be naughty go to my room!
Woman to Man: Is your dad a peanut maker? 'Cause you've got nice nuts!
Woman to Man: Roses are Red; Apples are Sour; I'll Spread my legs; And you can show me your "power"
Woman to Man: Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
Would you fuck a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...
Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Would you like to see my circumcision scar?
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
Wow! Are those real?
Wow, you have some sweet birthin' hips.
Write the following on a napkin and give it to a cute girl: "Smile if you want to have sex with me." Watch her smile!
Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me
right, and I'll do it your way right away.
You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will fuck you.
You are so beautiful, that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass, just to jerk off in your shadow.
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
You be Poland, I'll be Germany
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
You can't be first, but you could be next.
You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?.
You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
You know what they say about guys with big hands? [What] Big latex.
You know, I never was to good at math...like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
You know, I've got the f, the c and the k, so all I need is you
You know, looking at you right now, in this light... I could fuck you.
You know, sweetie, my lips won't just kiss themselves...
You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.
You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
You look a little feverish. Luckily I always have an oral thermometer on me.
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
You look like my type: nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?)
They're still on.
You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat.
You make my software turn to hardware!
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
You must be Jelly, cause jam don't shake like that.
You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can't.
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
You say, "So, did you here the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship?" The reply, "No". You respond, "Well then, let's go to my place and I'll tell you all about it."
You Say: I'm jealous of your dress. She says "Why?" You say: Because it's touching your body, and I'm not.
You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
You smell wet, lets party.
You touch her shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch
down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
You want to get a six pack and fuck, or don't you drink?
You wet? I'd bet you are after looking at me.
You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
You'd mind if I fantasize about you?
Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be!
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you have a nice set of buns.
Your face or mine?
Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.
Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
Your so hot I could roast my meat on you, baby.
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
You're like Pringles once I pop you, I can't stop you.
You're on my list of things to do tonight.
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
You've activated my launch sequence
You've got an ass that makes me want to be your wallet!!!
You've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across.

omfg thats a long list but i was lmao at it :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D