things to forget in '05

Dec. 21 -- The older I get, the more I'm convinced that the key to happiness is starting every day, if you can, with a clean slate. But it should certainly be done before the start of every new year. This task is particularly easy for me this year since forgetfulness seems to come along with the Bora Bora breeze here.

So here is my list of things from 2005 that I'd love to forget -- that, indeed, we'd all be better off never having cross our minds again:

Bill Frist, video diagnostician. Bill Frist, stock market genius. Bill Frist.

That drivers will soon have to take out a second mortgage before filling up at the gas pump.

Bill O'Reilly's enemies list. That HuffPo wasn't on it (we'll try harder next year).

That the president thought Harriet Miers was the most qualified candidate for the Supreme Court

That Harriet Miers thought George Bush was the most brilliant man she ever met.

The passage of the morally bankrupt bankruptcy bill.

That the New York Times held off running the NSA spying story for over a year.

Being Bobby Brown: "Hell to the no!"

The note President Bush passed Condoleezza Rice asking if it was okay to take a bathroom break during a UN Security Council meeting.

The missing $9 billion the U.S.-led occupation government in Iraq can't account for.

Jeff Gannon, White House correspondent -- aka Jeff Guckert, hotmilitarystud.com.

That there is a debate about whether waterboarding is actually torture.

Judy Miller, Bob Woodward, Viveca Novak: The Three Media Stooges of Plamegate

The Fred Durst sex tape.

That 493 U.S. soldiers have died since Dick Cheney declared the insurgency was in its "last throes."

That Dick "5 deferments" Cheney was willing to go toe-to-toe with John "5 years as a POW" McCain over the issue of torture.

Jean Schmidt taking to the House floor and implying that Jack Murtha was a "coward."

That voters could have gone to the polls in 2004 knowing that Bush was spying on Americans, that a key White House aide was charged with felonies, and that the initial reasons for invading Iraq were bogus -- but didn't, thanks to the timidity of the mainstream media.

Tom Cruise vs. Brooke Shields

Tom Cruise vs. Matt Lauer

Tom Cruise vs. Oprah's couch

That, in a 60s flashback, the Pentagon is once again spying on the activities of anti-war activists.

Hillary Clinton's shameless attempts to rebrand herself as a red state friendly Democrat -- including her decision to sign on as a co-sponsor of an anti-flag burning bill.

Hillary's visit to Iraq where when she opined that suicide bombers are "an indication" of the "failure" of the insurgency, and that much of Iraq was "functioning quite well"

Hillary taking on "Grand Theft Auto."

Intelligent Design vs. Evolution.

That Phil Cooney, an oil-industry-lobbyist-turned-White House official, did extensive rewrites on government reports to make is sound as if global warming weren't really that big a problem.

Duke Cunningham's two defense contractor-provided 19th century French commodes.

That Paul Wolfowitz, one of the key architects of the war, has been successfully repackaged as the warm and fuzzy poverty-fighting president of the World Bank.

That thanks to Bush budget cuts, one in five military families need food stamps, or Women, Infants and Children program aid to get by.

That China has become the second largest holder of U.S. debt.

That Democrats chose the insipid "Together, America Can Do Better" as their new slogan. And that they actually paid a messaging team to come up with it.

Drilling for oil in ANWR (I've been desperately trying to forget this one since 2001, but the White House just won't let me).

Bush strumming his guitar, Condi taking in Spamalot, and Cheney shopping for luxury digs -- all while New Orleans flooded.

That Bush waited five days before visiting the Gulf following Katrina. And that once he got there, he joked about his hard-partying days, congratulated Mike Brown on doing a "heck of a job," and promised to rebuild Trent Lott's house.

Brownie's resume -- especially his stint as commissioner of the International Arabian Horse Association.

That About 40 percent of Mississippi's National Guard and 35 percent of Louisiana's -- a combined total of roughly 6,000 troops -- were unable to help out after the storm because they were in Iraq.

That the first round of Katrina cleanup and reconstruction contracts went to that old gang from Baghdad: Halliburton, Bechtel, Fluor, and the Shaw Group.

The Post-Katrina Quote Hall of Shame:

"I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of levees" -- G. W. Bush

"Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" -- Tom DeLay to young evacuees in the Astrodome

"This is working very well for them." -- Former First Lady Barbara Bush on Katrina evacuees

"If you'll look at my lovely FEMA attire you'll really vomit. I am a fashion god." -- Mike Brown in an email sent in the immediate aftermath of Katrina

Scooter Libby, novelist. Scooter Libby, letter writer. Scooter Libby, tree expert.

"Out West, where you vacation, the aspens will already be turning. They turn in clusters, because their roots connect them."

Judy Miller's non-entangled "entanglement" with Scooter Libby.

That the New York Times wrote 15 editorials depicting Judy Miller as Judy of Arc, compared her to Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, and claimed "If Judy Miller loses this fight, we all lose."

"Valerie Flame."

Arthur Sulzberger, charter member of the Lucky Sperm Club.

The wall-to-wall, over-the-top, and utterly uncritical TV coverage of the interminable internment of Pope John Paul II.

That President Bush interrupted his vacation to fly back to Washington to sign the Schiavo bill in the middle of the night.

That not a single Democratic Senator formally objected to the pro forma voice vote that sent the Schiavo bill to the House.

How the Schiavo spectacle allowed the reptilian Randall Terry to be born again as a media figure.

Bob Woodward's self-inflicted demotion from Watergate hero to Plamegate goat.

That just weeks after Time's Viveca Novak provided Karl Rove with a possible get-out-of-jail-free card, the president nominated her husband to the Federal Election Committee.

That, with the war on terror in full-swing, the FBI has a squad exclusively devoted to cracking down on sexually explicit material involving consenting adults.

That instead of meeting with Cindy Sheehan, President Bush went fishing, took two-hour bike rides, cleared brush, attended a Little League ball game and raked in millions at a GOP fundraiser.

That only one high ranking officer involved in the Abu Ghraib/Guantanamo outrages has even been demoted.

That a study by the Army's Surgeon General found that 30 percent of soldiers coming home from Iraq are suffering mental health problems.

George Bush's recess appointment of John Bolton as U.N. ambassador.

Karl Rove's claim that "liberals saw the savagery of 9/11" and wanted to "offer therapy and understanding for our attackers."

That, for the fifth year in a row, President Bush couldn't find the time to address the annual convention of the NAACP.

The illogical but endlessly repeated lie that we have to fight the terrorists over there, so we don't have to fight them over here.

That Osama bin Laden is still on the loose

That 36 million Americans live below the poverty line -- 12.9 million of them children.

The Movie Multiplex from Hell: "The Dukes of Hazzard," "Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo," "The Pacifier," "Aeon Flux," "Son of the Mask."

The iPod Party Mix from Hell: Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps," The Pussycat Dolls' "Don' Cha," Papa Roach's "Scars," D4L's "Laffy Taffy," and Lindsey Lohan's "I Want You to Want Me."

All the precious media oxygen consumed by coverage of the Michael Jackson trial and the Natalee Holloway story.

The endless magazine covers devoted to the breakups of Nick and Jessica and Brad and Jen

That the Kyoto Protocol took effect -- and that the United States was not a part of it.

That Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called for Israel to be "wiped off the map." And that the leaders of the new Iraq are friendly with him.

That we passed the 1,000 mark of people executed in the U.S. since the reinstatement of the death penalty in 1976.

Pat Robertson, assassination advocate

Lawrence Summers, feminist scholar

Michael Crichton, climatologist

Bill Bennett, criminologist

That a company that makes snoring remedies paid $37,375 to have its logo temporarily tattooed on a 20-year old Nebraska man's forehead.

That Nicolas Cage named his son Kal-el.

The death of Pat Tillman. And the way the Army tried to cover up the truth behind his death.

The over-hyping of the role "A Purpose Driven Life" played in the surrender of courthouse escapee Brian Nichols -- and the under-hyping of the role crystal meth did.

That, according to Brit Hume, his "first thought" following the London bombings was to notice the falling futures market and think: "Hmmm, time to buy."