It's Over

I no longer do any drugs because i can't possibly do them anymore. I got caught popping pills at work and got fired for it so i don't have money anymore. Also my parents found out about it and about two days after my mom found out about me getting fired she found my two marijuana plants i was growing. So now my parents and entire family knows that i do weed and pills and other drugs. Since then i haven't had any luck whatsoever getting another job because i'm guessing they know about my past work experience. To add to all this i'm going to be piss tested at least once every week by my mother.
Theres no way i can do drugs anymore. I'm burned out on life and getting up in the morning is a dissapointment that i didn't die in my sleep or go in a coma or something. I have no friends anymore, my "dealer" wont even sell me drugs anymore even if i could buy them. I'm failing school. Everybody fucking hates me. I'm ugly as a fuck knows what. Coming home from school isn't much of a relieve either though because alli can do is sit around listen to music or get on my pc or watch tv.
I'm always bored to death now. Life sucks. I have no reason whatsoever to live. I wont ever make it anywere in life or have anything or anyone.
This is the first time in a while that i've thought of killing myself. All i can say to you all be happy you can do drugs and have friends and a nice life. Be happy you'll get somewhere in life. I have none of that and i have no reason to go on any longer. Sometimes i don't even feel like moving or getting out of bed because what the fuck is the point. Some people i guess are better off dead.

Go hang around a mall and meet some people. Anywhere you can find. Have conversations and then move on, find someone new. You'll meet someone who is either sympathetic to your problems or can offer a solution.

Look at me. I'd kill myself if it was in my vocabulary. I was in college and now, my friends who were behind me, are making $50,000 more a year than me. They were behind me in school, until my first life ended. The one where I'd been able to potentiate my talents. But, while they kept on with college, I lost everything, but my brain.

Every one of my friends had a shot at making their lives, three nineteen year-olds, at 9:30 on a Saturday night, wiped away all my aspirations.

But, I'm sure new ones will arise.

If you have parents that care for you, that's the reason why you shouldn't care how stupid they're being with their rules. Besides, no parent wants their child doing something illegal in "their" home.

It's cool if u decide to stop usin drugs...but remember that if u step outta this world, ur puttin urself under all the folks.
U could have somebody who givez a fuck about u out there. U could have a lil kid that makes it worth wakin up to a hard day.
Trust me, it gets hard, but the ones that'll miss ya will have it harder.

no matter how things are now..they will get better...you will move out from your parents someday...school will hopefully get better. If not you can get a GED or whatever its called. Keep goin man...

How old are you? Are you still in high school?

i think he is..

but seriously man.. you gotta stop thinking like that. its fueling your mind to keep thinking about the worst in you

my BEST friend was tripping on mushrooms to come home to his older brother(a senior in highschool at the time) hanging in the garage by his neck. he had a rough couple weeks but time heals everything. get involved in whats going on around you. join a team, meet people thru activities that you both enjoy so you have something in common, itts a lot earier to make friends that way. TRUST ME, don't do something that foolish! especially at such a young age.. you have you WHOLE LIFE ahead of you, tho it may not seem that way right now. when i was 17 i started fucking around with cocaine... i was skipping school everyday, a few classes here-a few classes there... my bank account went from $1200 to $-300.. and not to get really personal or anything, but i still havent graduated, yet i own my own resturant now and things are looking up :)

dont give up man, you got more fight in you than you think

Why won't your dealer sell to you? And honestly you sound alot like I was until yesterday. I just got off grounding you'll get off grounding eventually and have fun again.

Well you can probably still get some pot but I read some where that a little bleach added in the piss when you go take the test eliminates what they are lookin' for.

Hahaha I wrote something a while back ago for people like you.

"I'm sorry I don't bring problems upon myself, and in my own self-assurance make sure the fucking world knows, through insignificant gossip and fucking internet blogs.Believe me if your life was so shitty you wouldn't have a fucking computer, or internet connection to use on the behalf of your constant bitching. "

Maybe think twice before popping pills at your job, and growing in your parents house.Maybe you should have tried being born pretty.But in the end its not your fault right?Just do it man.THeres only one way to solve this problem and I think you know the answer. x|

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Originally Posted by Dopa

I'm always bored to death now. Life sucks. I have no reason whatsoever to live. I wont ever make it anywere in life or have anything or anyone.
This is the first time in a while that i've thought of killing myself. All i can say to you all be happy you can do drugs and have friends and a nice life. Be happy you'll get somewhere in life. I have none of that and i have no reason to go on any longer. Sometimes i don't even feel like moving or getting out of bed because what the fuck is the point. Some people i guess are better off dead.

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dude dont kill your self