In need of a little bit of advice

Since Iâ??ve looked around and found numerous people with all sorts of problems within this board. So I figured why the hell not put mine up here, hell maybe someone can help. I'll start this off saying I am 18 and I am not a virgin. This is not my problem, but I do have one even though it's slightly less major. See the first girl I was ever with was my ex girlfriend, a relationship that lasted me a year and a half. The final time we broke up and there was three, was when I ended it and that was final. So now it's been 10 months since Iâ??ve had any kind of sexual interaction. Now this is not due to the fact that I can't talk to girls and make them interested because I can, it's just that I haven't really wanted to or found someone that interested me. And now that needless to say my mental health is slightly affected, and it wasn't this hard before I lost my virginity. I just can't really picture myself just hooking up with someone, I don't know it's weird I just can't picture myself being that intimate with someone I barley know. Well that gets on my nerves sometimes, since all i have to do is look around and see people able to not even blink at the idea. I guess it comes down to the fact Iâ??m probably just scared, scared that Iâ??ll knowingly be pretty bad this first time back and for a while, and probably also scared that Iâ??ll end up ruining memories I have. Once again living in the past to often in not a good thing, but it comes and goes. Also it could be that Iâ??m just not attracted to most girls, I mean yeah there is a lot of really good looking girls, but I can't even carry a conversation with most of them I talked about stuff that well people that are my age just don't care about, I think to much and I like conversation. That and the fact that I have quite a few quirks about me. I'll usually go off on random tangents about stuff that like 2 other people know about. Well then I guess Iâ??m a nerd. But it's not like Iâ??m anti-social, Iâ??m on the soccer team at college, I go out, and like meeting new people.

Well then Iâ??m done ranting I guess. This is what happens when you get high and think too much to often. So either take my post for your amusement or give something back. Constructive Criticism is good or even the occasional DUDE THAT'S WACKED!!!! So I guess that's about it, I just figured I needed someone to talk to about this and well I haven't found anyone here to do it, so you guys/girls get the job since well we are all the chillest of the chill. Well thanks for reading all this.

Peace

Hello Ecto :) Well I have to admit I'm looking for the problem but to be honest I can't find it. What you describe sounds pretty much like an average 18 year old too me ;)



You said .......... " I don't know it's weird I just can't picture myself being that intimate with someone I barley know". ................. there is nothing weird about that at all, simply just get to know the person before any intimacy takes place ;)
I know that I personally would have no desire to be intimate with someone unless I knew them well first. Just remember that there is no time limits on relationships. Also I think that it is far nicer to know, respect and like someone first, it makes those intimate moments far more special :)


As for hanging on to those past memories, well memories are always there, we learn from our past experiences, but we have to also keep the past where it belongs ................. in the past. So learn from them but also don't let them interfere with the future.



Oh and you said ............................"I think to much and I like conversation. That and the fact that I have quite a few quirks about me". .......... There is nothing wrong at all with thinking and liking conversation, that's what being human is all about.
As for having a few "quirks", .................... hmmm who doesn't have a few of those, that's what makes us each our own individual self ;)


Try not to worry, you're 18 just relax, take life as it comes and enjoy the "fun bits" ;)


love mand xxx:)

At the end of the day the only person you can be is yourself so if you are a person that talks alot that's fine doesn't everyone talk once they get the chance to.I know myself once I start it's hard to get in but that's me.But all I can suggest is take care of yourself and don't worry about it your only 18 there is plenty of time to find someone and you will.Just be yourself.:thumbsup:

I went through the same phase. I refer to it as the "first-love trap." It's nothing nerdy. You gotta boost your confidence and put yourself out there, no matter if it sounds stupid to you, perhaps it doesn't to another girl.

Just do it man!

thanks everyone, sometimes you just need that proverbial slap in the face :)to get you thinking on what matters. Thanks and feel free to keep comenting. But i should stop worrying so much and just enjoy life as it is right now, since i've alreayd noticed time is starting to go by faster and well i don't want to miss anything. Thanks all again.

peace