Deep thoughts by Jack handey

Anyone ever remeber this from saturday Night Live? it was my favorite, and I bought a book years ago with all the qoutes in it, I just found it agian today, here's my favorite:
One things kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead i drove him to a old burnt out warehouse. "Oh, no" I sadi "disneyland burned down!"
He cried, and cried, but I think that deep done, he thought it was a pretty good joke.
I started to drive over to Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.



There is some other pretty funny ones too, let me know if ya wanna hear them. :)

I DO

PLEASE!!!! :D

Here's a couple more:
"I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say"
"We use to laugh at grandpa when he'd head off to go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing when he'd come home back with some whore he picked up in town"
"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem so funny."

One more for the masses:
"If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be suprised."
Ok One more: "You know what would make a funny story? Something about a clown who makes people really happy, but inside he's really sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea" LOL

Please do continue. :)

the deep thoughts are hilarious, there was a site where you could refresh and it would have a different quote

my favorite one was

Just because you go through 3 hammers a month doesnt mean your a skilled craftsman.. It just means you need to learn a thing or two about proper hammer maintenance.

"Instead of having "answeres' on a math test, they should just call them "impressions" and if you get a different "impression" so what can't we all be brothers?" LOL I wish that one was true LOL

"When you go for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges." LOL